Loyal WUYS correspondents @jfrancesw and @chialo managed not to get arrested last night at the NHL Awards party. And they took a photo just for me! I fangirlled right out of my socks.
"Skinner and Stamkos! (especially for @shan_apolis)"
What could top that, you ask? @jfrancesw and the man himself.
Man of the Hour
I should definitely be at an open bar party with Jeff Skinner. Can you hear me now, talking about intern interviews and Mexi-Colas? I’ll wear a wire so you can all witness it. Somehow @chialo managed not to faint when meeting Disco Dan. I would be dead.
Classy coach is classy.
Then Jonathan Toews made an appearance at the party, just to make sure no one was left alive. Thank you for sharing your pictures with us! You look so composed, we are proud. And insanely jealous and planning next year’s trip right now. Meet us there?
I alternate between muting and leaving the room when I’m uncomfortable with what’s on TV. So I watched the NHL Awards in fits and starts and really tried to only listen when a player was talking.
The show was fairly agonizing, featuring some of the flattest jokes possible. I generally think Jay Mohr’s pretty funny but the obnoxious thing is a bit much for a whole show. Why doesn’t Cabbie on the Streets host this thing?
Like a boss.
Worse were the guest stars, most of whom stretch the definition of star to its limit. A kid from The Wizards of Waverly Place? Awesome that he’s a Kings fan and probably fangirlling inside over Luc Robataille, but presenting? Of course he was worlds better than the Real Housewives. I thought I was having a stroke when they were introduced, because surely that cannot have happened. Then Far East Movement performed. PICK A DEMOGRAPHIC. TEACH IT HOW TO PRONOUNCE YOUR WINNERS. Or let Jon Hamm do them all.
Take us with you!
Okay, end rant. The players, as usual, were adorkable enough to heal all wounds. Jeff Skinner’s stuttering acceptance speech made me squee. St. Louis for the Lady Byng was fantastic – someone get this guy an advert deal with Blackberry! The constant cuts to Toews looks pissy, Bobby Ryan’s mom all teary, Kesler’s hair… man, I love hockey.
If we were in charge, the NHL Awards should we be better. Like a bachelor auction or a live action SCORE! The Hockey Musical. And we’d get picked up by this bus… and miss the whole show.
This isn't where I parked my car!
Now, let’s party. We don’t know where this bus is going and I promise, we don’t care. Back in October!
I went to work early this morning and put the Calder Trophy on Pants’ desk. It’s really shiny. Then I drew a (second) mustache on her Logan Couture poster and now I’m buying myself a huge breakfast on the corporate card.
I’m not bragging, but I did win. And Vegas was really fun, even if Tyler Seguin never returned my calls about how to go out dancing when you’re clearly underage, or what the point is of wearing a belt.
In case you didn’t see my speech, I was kinda nervous. Okay super nervous. It was like prom times a hundred and I hope all the Seventeen readers (and WUYS girls) were pleased with the suit they chose. I thanked everyone I could think of – I mean everyone – but I forgot to mention Pants. I felt so terrible that I made Couture drunk dial her and sing the Jaws theme song from the pool party.
If only they’d done the Calder at the end of the show, I’d have felt better. It was all awkward all the time and at least I didn’t have to hug the Real Housewives! I mean, girls make me nervous enough already.
Now that I am an award-winner, I might have to ask for a raise. Or an allowance. The girls know I work hard and I’m really good at organizing the ponytail holders they leave around the office (thin for everyday, thick for the gym). They could pay me Canadian minimum wage, and I could do yard work. Gotta stay in shape so I can win more awards next season.
Hello. Intern Jeff Skinner is still here. I bring bagels. I held Pants’ hair while she got sick after that 24-hour implosion by all that she holds dear. What does an intern have to do to get a post around here?
One for me, none for you.
How about score 2 goals against France in the World Championships? Because I did. I’m also hanging out with Rick Nash and James Neal and you’re not, so there’s that. And we’re in Slovakia – good thing Pants and I watched Eurotrip before I left, because I know not to drink absinthe or mess with mimes.
Team Canada has gone 2-0 and outscored our opponents 13-2. While you read this, we are tied 3-3 with Switzerland in the third period.
Oh, I also got nominated for Rookie of the Year. I know Pants has a weird thing for Logan Couture but you’d think I would get some brownie points for remembering she likes Whatchamacallit candy bars. Who else eats those? The most fun part will be going to Las Vegas… and not being allowed to do anything. Couture and Grabner are both 21 – can I help it if I am a phenom? Does “I know Eric Staal” carry any weight out there? Maybe someone will throw an 18+ night so I can at least show off my dance moves.
I'm 21. Um... my ID?
Wish us luck in the World Championships. I know the WUYS girls are a little caught up at the moment, but Administrative Assistants’ Day was last week and it wouldn’t have killed them to make me a cake.
Get it? I'm Scotty from Eurotrip? (Pants, I know you're laughing.)
All you Fauxnadians better pay attention and cheer for me. It’s going to be a long summer and there’s no one else to file all your Kris Letang photos in order of descending percentage of whipping his hair.
April 5th – He is named the 2011 Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy nominee.
I’m sure that his great player and all around awesomeness contributed greatly to his nomination but you can’t discount the Foxy Friday Effect.
It sorta magical. Like the “Felix Felicitas” potion from Harry Potter.
Shawn…you’re welcome, buddy.
Below is the presser about #22’s nomination (courtesy of bruins.nhl.com)
Bruins forward Shawn Thornton is the Boston Bruins 2011 Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy nominee, as selected by the Boston chapter of the Professional Hockey Writer’s Association (PHWA). The Masterton Trophy is given to the player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey.
“One of the most popular Bruins in recent memory, Thornton’s perseverance in the pursuit of his NHL dreams and dedication to the community embody exactly what the Masterton Trophy is designed to honor,” said Joe Haggerty, PHWA Boston chapter chairman and Bruins beat reporter for CSNNE.com.
Before Thornton earned a Stanley Cup ring with the Anaheim Ducks, he had spent nine seasons between the Toronto and Chicago organizations trying to earn a full-time NHL role. Thornton was traded to the Bruins following his Stanley Cup victory and since has become a mainstay in Boston’s lineup. This season Thornton has achieved career highs in goals and points (9-9=18), but without compromising the physical aspect of his game that he is known for. Thornton leads the team in penalty minutes with 122.
A leader off the ice as well as on, the Charlestown, MA year-round resident received the 2010 John Bucyk Award for his community contributions. Last summer, Thornton organized the first annual “Putts and Punches for Parkinson’s” golf tournament to raise money for the American Parkinson Disease Association. Thornton is also a key player in the annual Cuts for A Cause charity event, where fans bid to shave participating Bruins’ heads and the funds are donated to the Floating Hospital for Children at Tufts Medical Center.
The winner of the Masterton Trophy is selected by a vote of the 30 chapters of the PHWA at the conclusion of the regular season. The winner will be announced at the NHL Awards, which will be held on Wednesday, June 22 in Las Vegas.
What's Up, Ya Sieve? 