Intern Jeff Skinner: SHINY!

23 Jun

I went to work early this morning and put the Calder Trophy on Pants’ desk.  It’s really shiny.  Then I drew a (second) mustache on her Logan Couture poster and now I’m buying myself a huge breakfast on the corporate card.

I’m not bragging, but I did win.  And Vegas was really fun, even if Tyler Seguin never returned my calls about how to go out dancing when you’re clearly underage, or what the point is of wearing a belt.

In case you didn’t see my speech, I was kinda nervous.  Okay super nervous.  It was like prom times a hundred and I hope all the Seventeen readers (and WUYS girls) were pleased with the suit they chose.  I thanked everyone I could think of – I mean everyone – but I forgot to mention Pants.  I felt so terrible that I made Couture drunk dial her and sing the Jaws theme song from the pool party.

If only they’d done the Calder at the end of the show, I’d have felt better.  It was all awkward all the time and at least I didn’t have to hug the Real Housewives!  I mean, girls make me nervous enough already.

Now that I am an award-winner, I might have to ask for a raise.  Or an allowance.  The girls know I work hard and I’m really good at organizing the ponytail holders they leave around the office (thin for everyday, thick for the gym).  They could pay me Canadian minimum wage, and I could do yard work.  Gotta stay in shape so I can win more awards next season.

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4 Responses to “Intern Jeff Skinner: SHINY!”

  1. Cassy June 23, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    We love you Jeff! And congrats on winning the Calder… those of us who have some swing made damn sure that all your additional Intern work on top of being Rookie of the Year swayed the final result, even if you DID beat Logan Couture, the Rookie of Pants’ Life.

    I’m making you a special poster chart here, with stickers. It’s got all the awards, trophies and medals you could win on it. I expect you to use a sticker to fill every single box as you win them.

    Go get ’em tiger! Get on it…

    PS Ladies, should we get the Intern an intern? I’d like to recommend Couturier, who I am adopting as the Rookie of MY Life 😀

  2. Chuck June 23, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    I’m so proud of you, Jeffy! We’re so proud of you! Sparkling cider toasts for everyone!

    In honor of your achievement, overall adorable-ness, and your dimples, I’m all for giving you a weekly stipend. Pants might be a little miffed at you beating Logan, but don’t worry about her. I’ll give her a few Whatchamacallit bars and she’s forget all about it.

    How does $100 a week sound? Should be enough for Mountain Dew and twizzlers, right?

    • Cassy June 23, 2011 at 10:59 am #

      Isn’t that your weekly Mexi-Cola budget though Chuck?

      Just checking.

  3. AYF August 16, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    What’s up with Intern Jeff’s summer? Where’s the Calder sitting these days? Are you using it as your coffee mug or cereal bowl?

    Are you still fetching lunch from the roach coach for the gurls?

    We miss you Jeffie! Post soon!

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