Kings Of The Road

If any of you have watched NBC’s Post Game wrap-up, then you know Other-Brother-Darryl needs to take that sh*t on the road! Because having handled talent and sat through countless hours of interviews and seen press chewed up and spat out by the best, Other-Brother-Darryl ranks right up there only he is god damn funny about it.

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!

Even though each game has gone into OT, the LA KINGS have shown they can re-group when it matters and pull it out. For the GW – it was Pancakes for the block on Brodeur and Carter came in on the blocker side. You totally know Richards and Carter made sweet love on the 6 hour flight back to Los Angeles and ravaged the mini bar to boot!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Pancakes For Everyone – Uno, Dos, Adiós!

My cats have banned me from the TV. Osiris Jones actually mews at anyone who swears. True Story. And there was a ton of it tonight. I swear like a sailor and many of Mr. Cherrie’s friends think I learned it from him but actually, I taught him pretty much everything he knows. My grandfather worked on the railroad in the Great Depression.

Winner, Winner, Pancake Dinner!

I told Mr. Cherrie when the game went into O.T. Pancakes was going to get the GWG. He just rolled his eyes at me since everyone was calling it the Radim Vrbata show.

I only wish I had this much time on my hands ….

And Drew Doughty was a man on fire and I have officially decided he has earned his own version of the Gordie Howe Hat Trick – THE DREW DOUGHTY HAT TRICK: he shoots a GOD D#$M LAZER ROCKETbut someone else taps, touches, directs, goes off their skate, pad, face or otherwise touches the pucks so he only gets the assist on an otherwise masterful shot. But that’s OK because he’s one cool cat and a goal is a goal.

The win didn’t come without controversy when Brown took out Rozsival with a devastating hit and a penalty wasn’t called because the Coyotes were off-sides. Just after Rozsival was taken off the ice, LA scored and the hand shake line was less than cordial with the classy Coyotes fan throwing crap on to the ice.

Pancake’s interview after the game was self-deprecating referring to Quick as Mr. Vezina-Smyth. He also said that he was going to enjoy this trip to the Stanley Cup more than the last.

Stat Girl has a few things to tease your brain with:

LA KINGS are the first 8th seed EVER to dispatch the 1st, 2nd and 3rd seed teams.

LA KINGS have broken the NHL record with 8 straight road wins in a play-off season.

LA KING have broken the NHL record with 10 straight road wins in consecutive seasons.

So a BIG WUYS congratulation LA KINGS! Here’s to your second trip ever to the Stanley Cup Finals.

As Cartman loves to say: “GO KINGS GO!”

Ugly Still Gets It Done

um .. did I say Ugly? nah .. I’d take a ride into the boards with these guys ANY DAY!

Last night’s game was like the first episode of The Bachelorette. 25 suitors vying for one slightly used but marginally OK single mom.

LA’s Dennis the Menace

Not a lot of rough stuff – Shane Doan with yet another penalty, a few taunts, a couple of chest puffs but all in all, a tight game with one impression rose – Dwight King – I’m looking at you – Rookie Stand out with his 5th goal and Game Winner! Short side – high glove – like a goal scorer.

It wasn’t either team’s best game but the Kings still came out on top. Which begs the question: Come Saturday – will the Coyotes bring it or will they be swept and wept?

Kopi’s not ready for summer yet!

Not that I like to rub salt in a wound but at this point, I’m about records and captions and I’m dying to use: uno, dos, adiós….

Pancakes Makes French Toast – Carter Tricks for Hats

The Kings devastated the Coyotes last night in more ways than one. The Coyotes bit back and not in a nice way. I was going to take the high road in this post and talk about how adorable Antoine Vermette was in his pre-game interview but then the Coyotes took a page from the Penguin’s book of Poor Sports and all this happened:

Shane Doan takes Trevor Lewis’ face for a wipe board. OK-  he did turn but a delayed penalty had already been called for slashing on BROWN so all Doan needed to do was reach for the puck – not take Lewis’ face for a ride. He got thrown out which was appropriate – IN MY OPINION.

Mike Smith slashes Dustin Brown in the back of the knees. They get MATCHING penalties because the ref thinks Brown is embellishing – HELLO! Anyone who gets the craps smacked out of the back of their knees with a goalie stick by a 6’3” MONSTER isn’t embellishing ANYTHING.

As one commentator said, “If that was acting, it’s some of the best to come out of Hollywood in years!”

Then Hanzal decides ride Brown into the boards like a whore on Saturday night. Fellas, I get it, you’re frustrated. You got your asses handed to you by an 8^th seed team for a second night. But this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Then – my favorite of the night – Dustin “Pancakes” Penner decides enough is enough and when a scrum breaks out to quell it, he just sits on Antoine Vermette. Awesomesauce. Nothing says shut your face like a 6’ 4” manbeast sitting on your lame ass.

Oh did I mention that Jeff Carter, man of the hour, got a natural hat trick? The first one for the Kings in the play-offs since  – oh – Wayne Gretzky in 1993? Yeah … that happen too last night!

HAPPY SUTTER/ANGRY SUTTER

OH WHAT A NIGHT! Feel good about that one guys. Mad respect for your play. But I knew that – 😉

Kings Kickin’ Butt

Dawn – you are so funny. Calling me to wish me good luck tonight!

So the LA King’s have lost only one play-off game so far … No, that is not a typo. ONE.

This is what you want from your captain – A COMPLETE BEAST!

Coach Dave Tippett of the Coyotes, seems to be the only other person on the planet besides me, the only LA KINGS fans (OK – I know there are like – four of us) who know how AWESOME they are and should FEAR their AWESOMENESS.

The press conference after game one went pretty much like this:

Kopitar NEVER gives up on a puck – NEVER

Press person: Coach, how do you think Kopitar was able to blah blah…

Tippett: I didn’t give a F**K about Kopitar. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press person: So when Brown did blah blah blah …

Tippett: I don’t give a F**K about Brown. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press Person: So when they scored again in the second period …

Tippett: Maybe you didn’t hear me the second time, I have to don’t give a F**K about the LA KINGS right now, I have to worry about my players and the fact that they didn’t perform tonight. Any more questions? Alright. Thanks.

GO KINGS! KEEP BEING UNDER-RATED  – RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU WIN THE CUP!

MY BOYS! BREAKING BAD!

Chewbacca and the Ewoks Sent Packing

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

For those of you keeping count, last night the Jawas sent Chewie and the Ewoks packing.

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

The Jawas also found out from Palpatine, Lord of the Sith and Emperor of the Galactic empire, they will more than likely be staying in the desert. Details of the contract are still under wraps but my sources tell me it includes the souls of the all the incoming new players first-born girls (because ya know, they need the boys for future hockey players) and all the retirees in a 250 mile area. That should keep Lord Vader fed for a few more years.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

That’s good news for Phoenix!

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

LA KINGS – TCOB

The great oracle Orisis Jones was right as far as part of the West Coast goes:

That was our happy face after the sweep!

Not since 1993 have the LA Kings been to a conference final and that was when the Great One played for them – as in Wayne Gretzky.

WTF are the LA KINGS doing in the play-offs?

The Kings have swept the #1 and #2 seed and yet the astonishment abounds how a team with the 29th worst scoring record in the league manages to knock them off.

But that was before other brother Darryl Sutter took command. And all I can say is Capt. Dustin Brown’s mug shot makes him look like Dennis the Menace and I want to adopt him.

don’t let this sweet face trick you – he will destroy you on the ice

 And Kopitar, OMG – if the Capitals Captain and Assistant Captains – ahem – played like this – holy bejesus – Kopitar had some killer floor checks. He had four Blues on him while the rest of his team changed and still kept the puck in.

He had this fly save in the crease for Quick that was a game saver!

And still people have to ask why the LA KINGS are in the play-offs? Puppet Please?! It’s not just Drew Doughty that’s touched by god anymore.

Looks like just enough room for me guys!

These guys are en fuego in more ways than one. I’d marry them all and move to Utah with my harem! It’s not just play-off time, it’s pay-off time!

Operation Havoc : Commander Doughty in Control

I’m here to kick ass AND chew bubble gum. Lucky for you, I brought the bubble gum.

The Kings have lost only ONE play-off game to date. And after listening to the announcers last night, could they have made anymore snide/ weight remarks? Let me count them down for you:

• Doughty certainly is a well-rounded player
• Doughty just skated down the Blues bench and told them they’d have to be quicker than that to throw a hit on him
• Doughty just got a free one off Elliott
• Who knew the Kings could go on such a winning streak without Doughty scoring

On a better note – Mike Richards is the only other player with a Gordie Howe Hatrick! The other player – Gingeroux!

I’m sexy and I know it!

That is mighty fine company sisters.

So for those keeping count, the Kings are up 3-0 AGAIN in their series. For an 8^th seat team – that’s super totes. For a Sutter brother, it’s in the genes.

For the Blues, evidently, this is their way of keeping Doughty in check – evidently, they stole my diary:

All Hail Jarret Stoll!

 So the Kings making it past Vancouver was like this happening …

But my friends once in a blue moon dreams do come true! So taste the rainbow Kings fans!

And it was all because of the guy with the most AWESOME hair this side of the Mississippi! And I can attest from seeing it in person. HOLY CRAP! It deserves a post of its own – hell, it deserves a facebook page of its own. Le-swoon. Plus, who knew Jarret Stoll was snaggin’ hotties under the radar like this?

 

yes, that's super model Rachel Hunter with the newly dubbed, west coast - 'bigboy hair'

But what’s really important is what he does on the ice which is this:

But I’ll be honest, it’s nice that under all that is this too :

LA seems to agree with Mr. Stoll

Foxy Friday – Jonathan Quick!

Who knew such a baby-face bad ass awaited?

 Everyone knows I LOVE GOALIES! And one who gets kisses from Drew Doughty on a regular basis would be high on my list!

Care for a three-some guys?!

But this ain’t the only reason he’s FOXY!

Jonathan Quick is a baby-face bad-ass! He’s a strong contender for this year’s Vezina Trophy, was a member of the USA’s Olympic Team who won a silver medal in the 2010 and is the ONE reason the LA Kings are in the play-offs this year.

He is the Merlin to the Kings’ royal court. HE IS PURE MAGIC.

Even the puck lives in fear of Quick.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

His wife is sister to NY Islanders’ Matt Moulson’s wife! Talk about six degrees of the Secret Lives of Hockey Wives! (BEST SHOW EVER/GUILTY PLEASURE! – get it on DVD – NOW!)

Say hello to your 'motha for me!

Quick was the Kings’ All-Star gift to the hockey gods.

How does this go on again?

He has confounded the Sedin-bot Twins in the play-offs and flummoxed Kesler. He kept his cool when Burrows was rifling shots at him and Edler was flopping on him like a seal sunbathing at high-noon!

oops - how'd I get in there?

 A goalie is your last line of defense, your best penalty killer and as Obvious-Guy says, your best player or your biggest chump!

don't let that smile fool you, he won't let you score!

So as Steven Colbert believes in his “bump” here’s ours FOXY FRIDAY BUMP!

GO KINGS!