Tag Archives: Phoenix Coyotes

Pancakes For Everyone – Uno, Dos, Adiós!

23 May

My cats have banned me from the TV. Osiris Jones actually mews at anyone who swears. True Story. And there was a ton of it tonight. I swear like a sailor and many of Mr. Cherrie’s friends think I learned it from him but actually, I taught him pretty much everything he knows. My grandfather worked on the railroad in the Great Depression.

Winner, Winner, Pancake Dinner!

I told Mr. Cherrie when the game went into O.T. Pancakes was going to get the GWG. He just rolled his eyes at me since everyone was calling it the Radim Vrbata show.

I only wish I had this much time on my hands ….

And Drew Doughty was a man on fire and I have officially decided he has earned his own version of the Gordie Howe Hat Trick – THE DREW DOUGHTY HAT TRICK: he shoots a GOD D#$M LAZER ROCKETbut someone else taps, touches, directs, goes off their skate, pad, face or otherwise touches the pucks so he only gets the assist on an otherwise masterful shot. But that’s OK because he’s one cool cat and a goal is a goal.

The win didn’t come without controversy when Brown took out Rozsival with a devastating hit and a penalty wasn’t called because the Coyotes were off-sides. Just after Rozsival was taken off the ice, LA scored and the hand shake line was less than cordial with the classy Coyotes fan throwing crap on to the ice.

Pancake’s interview after the game was self-deprecating referring to Quick as Mr. Vezina-Smyth. He also said that he was going to enjoy this trip to the Stanley Cup more than the last.

Stat Girl has a few things to tease your brain with:

LA KINGS are the first 8th seed EVER to dispatch the 1st, 2nd and 3rd seed teams.

LA KINGS have broken the NHL record with 8 straight road wins in a play-off season.

LA KING have broken the NHL record with 10 straight road wins in consecutive seasons.

So a BIG WUYS congratulation LA KINGS! Here’s to your second trip ever to the Stanley Cup Finals.

As Cartman loves to say: “GO KINGS GO!”

Western Conference: Gm 5ive

22 May

Tonight the Kings will try again to advance to the Stanley Cup Finals.  They’ve lost just two games in three rounds.

The @LAKings Twitter feed is spectacular, full of things only Judge Judy could get away with saying in a courtroom.  I’d just like to remind the Washington Capitals that I’m available for snarky and potentially trouble-making social media commentary.  Will work for hugs.

For the Kings, I feel a single loss in a series is good.  You don’t want to finish too soon and sit around waiting for NYR/NJD to sort itself out.  (Note: This didn’t hurt the Kings after they swept Round Two, but the Coyotes only needed five games to advance.  The Rangers and Devils could go all the way.)

For our Coyotes pals – hey, comebacks happen.  We’ve all prayed for them at one time or another.  I hope the number of $60 tickets available for tonight’s game on Ticketmaster doesn’t mean people are giving up.

Chuck and Dawn are all Team LA.  At this point, I’m really more interested in early-morning walks on the beach in pajamas with puppies.  If he’s got a day off, Mike Richards can come too.

Ugly Still Gets It Done

18 May

um .. did I say Ugly? nah .. I’d take a ride into the boards with these guys ANY DAY!

Last night’s game was like the first episode of The Bachelorette. 25 suitors vying for one slightly used but marginally OK single mom.

LA’s Dennis the Menace

Not a lot of rough stuff – Shane Doan with yet another penalty, a few taunts, a couple of chest puffs but all in all, a tight game with one impression rose – Dwight King – I’m looking at you – Rookie Stand out with his 5th goal and Game Winner! Short side – high glove – like a goal scorer.

It wasn’t either team’s best game but the Kings still came out on top. Which begs the question: Come Saturday – will the Coyotes bring it or will they be swept and wept?

Kopi’s not ready for summer yet!

Not that I like to rub salt in a wound but at this point, I’m about records and captions and I’m dying to use: uno, dos, adiós….

Our Post on Puck Daddy – NHL Playoff Beard Watch: Alternate Captains

17 May

The letter “A” is awarded only to the best. Students with the highest scores. Products with the best quality. Restaurants with the cleanest kitchens. We all know Alvin didn’t lead The Chimpmunks just because he had the best dance moves. The very presence of an “A” denotes greatness.

We love (OK, worship) our NHL team captains. But in life, it’s rare that a “C” should outrank an “A.”

To keep the status quo, this week we salute one NHL alternate captain from each remaining playoff team. These men are first in our books — leading by example on and off the ice, above and below the chinstrap.

Here are our top marks for how “A” beard should look.

Check out the rest [HERE]

Matt Greene’s bears. So blond, it glows.

Kings Kickin’ Butt

15 May

Dawn – you are so funny. Calling me to wish me good luck tonight!

So the LA King’s have lost only one play-off game so far … No, that is not a typo. ONE.

This is what you want from your captain – A COMPLETE BEAST!

Coach Dave Tippett of the Coyotes, seems to be the only other person on the planet besides me, the only LA KINGS fans (OK – I know there are like – four of us) who know how AWESOME they are and should FEAR their AWESOMENESS.

The press conference after game one went pretty much like this:

Kopitar NEVER gives up on a puck – NEVER

Press person: Coach, how do you think Kopitar was able to blah blah…

Tippett: I didn’t give a F**K about Kopitar. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press person: So when Brown did blah blah blah …

Tippett: I don’t give a F**K about Brown. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press Person: So when they scored again in the second period …

Tippett: Maybe you didn’t hear me the second time, I have to don’t give a F**K about the LA KINGS right now, I have to worry about my players and the fact that they didn’t perform tonight. Any more questions? Alright. Thanks.

GO KINGS! KEEP BEING UNDER-RATED  – RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU WIN THE CUP!

MY BOYS! BREAKING BAD!

Foxy Friday: Shane Doan

11 May

I forgot it’s Friday!  One night with zero hockey and I lose my mind, people.

Good thing I had already selected this week’s Foxy Friday: Shane Doan.

Things that are foxy:

– Birthdays the day, but not the year, before mine (Libras FTW!)

– Smiling even more than Intern Jeff Skinner

– Wilderness activities

– Eligible for my fantasy hockey team, The Hot Dads

– Still in the playoffs

Captain Coyote and his troops will begin their Western Conference Final series again the LA Kings on Sunday.  This season marks the first time the Coyotes have ever made it past the first round, and now they’re through the second.

Shane grew up in Alberta at his parents’ ranch that was also a Christian summer camp.  Doan debuted with the Winnipeg Jets in 1995, then moved the next year with the team to Phoenix.  He’s been in the desert ever since.

He and his brother were contestants on a Canadian reality TV show called “Mantracker” in April 2011.  They outpaced a professional tracker for 36 hours to win their segment.  I’m sure this is very exciting, but frankly Canada, I am not impressed.  Given the collective foxiness of your citizenry, I suggest something more like Canada’s Next Top Model Winter Athlete Who Does Squats.

Perhaps categories on this show can include wearing suspenders and squatting 200 pounds.  Contestants should also have a sense of humor for things like this:

Late in 2005, Doan was involved in a controversial defamation case against a Canadian Parliamentarian for an alleged on-ice derrogatory comment [link].  He’s been suspended twice (10/10 and 3/12).  This season, he had 50 points and has 6 so far in the playoffs.

I am so happy to see Shane Doan this late in the playoffs.  He’s one of those guys that’s been around forever and this could be his best shot at a Cup before retirement.  Can the Coyotes stop the landslide that is the LA Kings?  Can this beard grow all the way up to his ears?  We’ll find out soon enough.

Included in our Puck Daddy: Playoff Beard Watch this week, because we love it.

Chewbacca and the Ewoks Sent Packing

8 May

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

For those of you keeping count, last night the Jawas sent Chewie and the Ewoks packing.

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

The Jawas also found out from Palpatine, Lord of the Sith and Emperor of the Galactic empire, they will more than likely be staying in the desert. Details of the contract are still under wraps but my sources tell me it includes the souls of the all the incoming new players first-born girls (because ya know, they need the boys for future hockey players) and all the retirees in a 250 mile area. That should keep Lord Vader fed for a few more years.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

That’s good news for Phoenix!

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

Shanabanned: Who’s Not?

18 Apr

At Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon in Austin, TX, every Sunday night they play Chicken Sh*t Bingo.  It’s exactly what it sounds like – feed a chicken, turn it loose on a tabletop bingo board and wherever it takes a crap, that number goes on the board.

I’m pretty sure this is also how the NHL is deciding suspensions.

James Neal – 1 game for charging [Shanahan video]

The chicken really likes James Neal, because he gets away with the Couturier hit like a bank robber with a sack of money.  He leaves his feet to run two guys in one shift and manages to earn two disciplinary hearings for only 42 seconds of play!  Someone please tell me if that’s a land speed record.  You know I love the Pens & Neal (still so pissed), but even I can’t believe this. No I don’t want a huge suspension handed out to my guy – but I don’t know other players running my guys with zero fear of consequence.  This works both ways and next time, it’s coming instead of going.

To me this shows the NHL believes the Pens/Flyers series is over tonight, so the chicken did her business on the 1 because there’s only one game left in Neal’s season.  God, I hope they’re  wrong.

Be honest if you can see the sense in this: Carl Hagelin got 3 games [video] for elbowing Daniel Alfredsson and Andrew Shaw got 3 games [video] for hitting Mike Smith.  If those are 3-gamers, why is Neal’s only one?  Alfredsson was injured, Smith was not.  Neal could much more easily have avoided Giroux than either of the other hits.  And neither Hagelin or Shaw threw another questionable check less than a minute before.

Aaron Asham – 4 games for cross-checking [Shanahan video]

The chicken was angry – fine with me. This is a terrible move in a terrible game that could repeat itself tonight.  For all the bitching about Schenn cross-checking Crosby from behind a few weeks ago, this is obviously a hundred times worse and deserves a sit-down.

Nicklas Backstrom – 1 game for cross-checking  [Shanahan video]

A stick to the face for a Backstrom-less game 4?  Deal of the century!  Thanks a lot, chicken!

This play is no dirtier than a million uncalled penalties in this series.  But it is, as Shanahan calls it, “excessive and reckless” – because he can’t say “stupid and pointless.”  Nicky’s not going to fight Peverly anymore than I’m going to be proclaimed Queen of Canada.  He has been run constantly in this series – because he’s the Caps best player.  And he gave it away for nothing.   The Caps got through 40 games without Backstrom this year, here’s hoping they have one more in them.

Raffi Torres – Awaiting the Chicken

You need 5 in a row to win bingo.  Just when the NHL had suspended 7 players in the first round (only 6 suspensions in all of last year’s playoffs), Phoenix’s Raffi Torres does this.  Marian Hossa was stretchered off the ice and taken by ambulance to a local hospital, from which he was released last night [link].  He got into a waiting car under his own power.  Torres has been suspended twice and fined once in the last 13 months [link].

What do you think the chicken will have to say about this one?  If suspensions are being doled out based on some other system (say, player popularity?), where on the bingo board does this load land?

PS: You should all read The New York Times’ Slap Shot blog for this scathing piece on the state of player safety.  Writer Lynn Zinser says: “If you can follow the logic through those four [Asham, Neal, Shaw, Backstrom] — particularly how the Penguins’ James Neal earned only a one-game suspension for head-hunting two players on a single shift — you belong at M.I.T. Or Shanahan’s next dinner party.”

 

Principal’s Office

15 Apr

It’s getting hot in here, and Brendan Shanahan’s phone was ringing off the hook yesterday.  Three players face disciplinary hearings for offenses committed during Saturday’s run of show…

1. Carl Hagelin

Former Foxy Friday and Ryan Gosling stun- double Carl Hagelin is not known for throwing elbows and getting dirrrty.  But the playoffs make people do crazy things.  He took out Daniel Alfredsson with a very high hit yesterday.

Alfredsson, the Sens’ captain, did not return to the game.  There’s been no update on Alfredsson’s status.  Hagelin served a five minute major and will be sentenced today.  Tortorella said “wah!” but that’s what he always says.

2. Matt Carkner

This guy is off his anger-management meds.  Boyle had a goal in game 1 and got into it with Karlsson to the tune of matching roughing minors.  It merits the clean check Carkner throws to start this, and probably a fight.  I understand protecting your most valuable asset.  But Carkner doesn’t square off, he jumps Boyle and drags him face-down across the ice under the dogpile.

Carkner got five for fighting, two for instigating and ejected.  Brandon Dubinsky was the third man into the fight and also got himself a game misconduct.  He took his frustration out on the Gatorade cooler.

This series is officially ugly.  I think Shanahan will suspend Hagelin for one game, especially if Alfie can’t play tomorrow.  The hit was directly to the head and otherwise you open it up to chaos.  If Carkner went after Boyle for a play that didn’t result in Karlsson being injured, what will they do to the guy who knocked out their captain?  Hagelin is not Boyle – he may not live to tell the tale.

Carkner definitely gets suspended here.  Fight a guy clean to protect your teammates, that’s hockey.  This is cowardice and can’t be allowed to stand.

3. Andrew Shaw

Goalies are like virgins whose fathers are right inside the front door with a shotgun – don’t touch them, it’s not worth it.  Chicago’s Andrew Shaw collided with Phoenix netminder Mike Smith last night, helmet-to-helmet. Smith went down hard and stayed there for a long time.

Shaw got a five minute charging major, on which the Coyotes scored to take the lead.  He was ejected as well.  Smith eventually got right and stayed in the game… what?  He must have passed whatever on-ice tests are administered immediately following a hit to the head, but this looked like a mandatory trip to the quiet room.  I think a five + game should suffice as Smith wasn’t injured on the play.  The hearing is tomorrow.

What do you think?  More importantly, if they don’t get what the opposition feels they “deserve,” what happens in game three?

Foxy Friday: Taylor & Tom Pyatt

23 Mar

Allow me to set a scene, one I bet happened in each of your very early histories:

Doctor: “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Parents of Future WUYS Reader.  You’re having a beautiful baby girl.”

Mom and Dad: “Yes!”

Dad quickly adds: “We will never live in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

Taylor and Tom Pyatt, brothers and fellow NHL players, are among the many reasons why.

Taylor Pyatt has had a rough season in Phoenix, notching only 7 G/9 A.  The Coyotes are very much in the playoff race, battling four other teams for the last spots in the West.  Through 11 NHL seasons, Taylor has played for the Islanders, Sabres and Canucks before coming to the Coyotes in ’09-’10.  He will be an unrestricted free agent this summer.

Many of you know the heartbreaking story of Taylor’s fiancee, who was killed in a car wreck in 2009 [link].  He missed about a month of hockey, returned for a brief playoff stint and this his contract in Vancouver was up.  He joined the Coyotes that summer. We’re glad to see that Taylor is still playing and hope he gets a solid contract at the end of this season.

Taylor’s definitely a fan favorite in Phoenix… and why not?  He looks so much like Chris Pine that I keep expecting him to order Maximum Warp.

From yotesgurl.wordpress.com... there are a LOT more!

Okay, you can have another one.

Little brother Tom Pyatt has a career-high 10 G this season, including the two he scored last night  [video].  The Lightning are slipping out of the playoff dreamscape, so this will likely be the crown on Tom’s ’11-’12 season.  A recent contract extension keeps him with the Bolts through ’13-’14.

Tom is good friends with fellow Thunder Bay “hide your daughters” native Marc Staal (was in MStaal’s wedding party).  His favorite NHL team uniform is the Blackhawks (random yes, but we applaud) [link].  That’s all I could really find.  Someone get him on the phone so we can find out how he ask if he likes the roller coasters at Busch Gardens and wants to go to spring training with us.

Tom’s birthday is Valentine’s Day, so you can buy him candy that you fully intend to eat yourself.  Maybe you can borrow this hat when you both visit the Great White North.

Check out the video of Tom’s two goals and post-game interview last night.

Someday, Canada’s going to reveal the top-secret scientific research being carried out in Thunder Bay, and they put up a sign by the road: Home of The Perfection Project.