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Pancakes For Everyone – Uno, Dos, Adiós!

23 May

My cats have banned me from the TV. Osiris Jones actually mews at anyone who swears. True Story. And there was a ton of it tonight. I swear like a sailor and many of Mr. Cherrie’s friends think I learned it from him but actually, I taught him pretty much everything he knows. My grandfather worked on the railroad in the Great Depression.

Winner, Winner, Pancake Dinner!

I told Mr. Cherrie when the game went into O.T. Pancakes was going to get the GWG. He just rolled his eyes at me since everyone was calling it the Radim Vrbata show.

I only wish I had this much time on my hands ….

And Drew Doughty was a man on fire and I have officially decided he has earned his own version of the Gordie Howe Hat Trick – THE DREW DOUGHTY HAT TRICK: he shoots a GOD D#$M LAZER ROCKETbut someone else taps, touches, directs, goes off their skate, pad, face or otherwise touches the pucks so he only gets the assist on an otherwise masterful shot. But that’s OK because he’s one cool cat and a goal is a goal.

The win didn’t come without controversy when Brown took out Rozsival with a devastating hit and a penalty wasn’t called because the Coyotes were off-sides. Just after Rozsival was taken off the ice, LA scored and the hand shake line was less than cordial with the classy Coyotes fan throwing crap on to the ice.

Pancake’s interview after the game was self-deprecating referring to Quick as Mr. Vezina-Smyth. He also said that he was going to enjoy this trip to the Stanley Cup more than the last.

Stat Girl has a few things to tease your brain with:

LA KINGS are the first 8th seed EVER to dispatch the 1st, 2nd and 3rd seed teams.

LA KINGS have broken the NHL record with 8 straight road wins in a play-off season.

LA KING have broken the NHL record with 10 straight road wins in consecutive seasons.

So a BIG WUYS congratulation LA KINGS! Here’s to your second trip ever to the Stanley Cup Finals.

As Cartman loves to say: “GO KINGS GO!”

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Operation Havoc : Commander Doughty in Control

4 May

I’m here to kick ass AND chew bubble gum. Lucky for you, I brought the bubble gum.

The Kings have lost only ONE play-off game to date. And after listening to the announcers last night, could they have made anymore snide/ weight remarks? Let me count them down for you:

  • Doughty certainly is a well-rounded player
  • Doughty just skated down the Blues bench and told them they’d have to be quicker than that to throw a hit on him
  • Doughty just got a free one off Elliott
  • Who knew the Kings could go on such a winning streak without Doughty scoring

On a better note – Mike Richards is the only other player with a Gordie Howe Hatrick! The other player – Gingeroux!

I’m sexy and I know it!

That is mighty fine company sisters.

So for those keeping count, the Kings are up 3-0 AGAIN in their series. For an 8th seat team – that’s super totes. For a Sutter brother, it’s in the genes.

For the Blues, evidently, this is their way of keeping Doughty in check – evidently, they stole my diary:

Don’t Be Hatin’

14 Apr

Hey there handsome! yes, I embarrassed you in front of your team, that was me

Ok, I’m starting this off with I don’t hate the Vancouver Canucks. I just happen to LOVE the LA KINGS – even more so after seeing them last night. Look at the play-off beard!

do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Mr. Canuck fan? no wonder you're with another dude at this game!

If Pants was worried about me when we went to see Ovi in SJ in my outfit, she should have chaperoned me to Vancouver in my harmless Drew Doughty/LA KINGS t-shirt last night because holy Cheesus! I was literally one of 5 Kings fans in the house and the only one with a sign. You could see it anywhere in Rogers Arena.

F%ck you camera man! Telling me I suck. I made it on the Jumbotron anyway! so suck it ... we won too!

The one question I kept getting asked last night was – Why do you like the LA KINGS? Really? I saw Mr. Cherrie hold his breath hoping against all hope I wasn’t going to say something snarky so I waited until now: (our two little friends above the exit sign where AWESOME!) HI!

1. LA has a real goal tender – Quick doesn’t cry either!

Koppie tried flipping me a puck during warm up! totes love for you.

2. LA has Kopitar who can stick handle in a phone booth and I believe is about to cut loose because he is certainly due

He's all class and no sass!

3. LA has Dustin Brown with 2 shorties on them in their barn

Capt. Downtown Brown was trying not to laugh at my sign. Quick had a giggle too along with the rest of the team giving Doughty shit.

4. LA has Jeff Carter and Mike Richards now
5. LA has Drew Doughty (of course) 😉

Drew also tried to flip me a puck during warm-ups!

Any questions? Didn’t think so.

This was totally staged for my pleasure because they were all laughing and trying not to look at me. Hello -Paging Kings Fan of One.

See ... they started laughing and 22 (Trevor Lewis) is a stone cold FOX

But I would like to give a shout out and a thanks to the gracious Canucks fans who let me stand in front of them during the warm-ups so I could watch. They were very nice about it and I truly appreciated it.

5 Things: Entry-Level Contracts

7 Dec

We’ve had a request for more “hard news” around here, so you got it.  Kind of.  As often as I can find them, I will  be bringing you five things that you might not know about hockey.  First up…

5 Things: NHL Entry-Level Contracts

1. “Entry-level” contracts are required for players who sign between the ages of 18 – 21, and encompass their first three NHL seasons. Players who sign at 22-23 are “entry-level” for two years, and at 24 for a one year.  Players signing their first NHL contracts after age 24 are not subject to these restrictions.

2. An entry-level player can earn a maximum of $925,000 in 2011. (This number was $850,000 in 2005 and increased over the course of the current collective bargaining agreement.  Pre-lockout in 2004, the max entry-level salary was $1.295 million).
3. Signing Bonuses: The maximum signing bonus a player can receive is equal to 10 percent of his salary for each year of the entry-level contract. (Pre-lockout these bonuses could be up to 50% of base salary.)
4. Performance Bonuses: Players on entry level contracts are one of only three groups eligible for performance bonuses.  The others are veterans who’ve played 400+ games and sign one-year deals after returning from long-term (100+ days) injury, and players over 35 years old who sign one-year contracts.

5. In most cases, these performance bonuses are paid by the League (not the player’s team) and thus don’t count against the salary cap.

The current Collective Bargaining Agreement was made in 2005 and set to expire after the 2010-2011 season.  In June 2010, the CBA was extended to include this season.  It will expire on September 15, 2012.

How’d I do?  Do you feel smarter?  You can read the CBA here [link] though it was modified slightly after the Ilya Kovulchuk cap-circumvention scandal.  Those changes are explained here [link].