Beauty School Dropout

Monday I said, “Can we get an off-season photo of Steven Stamkos?”  If he started wearing a ponytail for the summer, I want get my crying out of the way before workout videos start to pop up.

Today, VOILA.

This video of Steven accepting an award for being Steven-tastic not only includes him talking on a child’s plastic telephone and being chased around a Christmas tree by a toddler in a pillow fight, but also HE CUT HIS HAIR.

YAAAYY…WAIT.  I’m not sure we’re going on by his ear – can someone just push his hair back there?  With the super-high collar, this look is a little too “nervous religious-affiliated high school graduation”  for me.  Is it too short?  Too vanilla?

Uh oh, I kinda miss the long hair!  Just a little flow, like this:

Nothing crazy, like when he was working weekends pumping gas for gator trawlers in the Everglades:

No?  I’m just used to looking through 3D glasses and now the world seems all flat and ordinary?  This was really the best:

Can you argue with advertising campaigns?

I hate to start asking already if it’s October yet… I’ll try to hold off.  Stammer was having a shoulder issue late in the season, and says it’s feeling better after a month off [link].  He’ll be in Vegas for the NHL Awards, accepting the Rocket Richard trophy for his 60-goal performance and as a nominee for the Hart Trophy.  There’s a negative-seven percent chance he’ll have any kind of tan, so pack your sunglasses.

This is what happens in summer, y’all: style consultations and gratuitous cross-sports graphics.

You Give Us ABBA and I Raise You A LMFAO – Viktor

OK – SRSLY – I am so watching Tampa Bay now. Where have you been – Mr. Under the Radar.

I’m in love AGAIN! But that’s OK. It happens all the time. Y’all are used to it by now. With the hunt for Lord Stanley in full swing the rest of the World has this going on.

Look closely for the dancing ping pong players circling in the background. There are better things I can think of doing with those balls boys – just sayin’ if I was there.

Why can’t this get spread out … like over summer when there is a HUGE DROUGHT OF NOTHINGNESS going on?

Somewhere is Sweden there is a hotel packed to the gills with this hot mess happening (link). Varför kan inte detta vara mig på Viktor Hedmans knä?

Sixty for Stamkos

Saturday was an epic hockey marathon featuring every team in the NHL.  Some games were for playoff position, others were a last hurrah.  For me, not even that killer Caps win came close to seeing Steven Stamkos score his 60th goal of the season.

And get a pie in the face.

Stop looking at Ran Malone’s tattoos and focus! [video]

Stamkos is the 20th player in NHL history to score 60 in a season.  He got 48 of them at even strength.  Probably all of them were from Squishy (not an actual statistic).  Brittany (@kneesandtoews) and I were Landeskoging all over the place.  She is the biggest Bolts fan we know (actual statistic).

Summer is already too long.

Sunday was for drying tears over the teams we won’t see again until September.  To send you all off, an adorable story about Stammer & Marty, Best Friends Forever [link].

And two post-game interviews, one regular [link] and one in which Ryan Malone’s tattoos (on his stomach?!) once again steal the show:

One for the Road

For some teams, the Stanley Cup Playoffs are about building on a season’s worth of experience.  For others, the post-season is about  forgetting how you got there and starting over.  Before we get to ahead of ourselves, let’s take a moment to appreciate the NHL teams whose seasons will end tomorrow.

Buffalo has been giving Caps fans heartburn for the last few months – I hurt the most for their fans because it was nearly us in their place.  A ton of respect to this team for the way they played in the last half of the season.

Winnipeg, the most excited place in the League, put on a good show and will benefit from realignment this summer.

Tampa Bay… I can’t talk about it.  Not seeing Stamkos and St. Louis in the playoffs after their ferocious post-season performance last year just guts me.  Stamkos for 60 would make it a little better.

Carolina struggled so massively in the first half, I hope they feel some accomplishment in getting where they did.  Intern Jeff Skinner can even have a few days off.

Bless Toronto and Montreal fans – they get angry but they never, ever give up.  Even when their teams don’t win, the passion of their fans make me jealous.

The Islanders have some blinding talent, I think they’re on the upswing.  They’ll have more to cheer about soon.

Bonus points for Sign Guy.

If your team didn’t make the playoffs, we’re sorry.  Enjoy the drama of the post-season without wanting to throw up over every goal, or adopt a team that would be happy to have your support.  Summer’s not that long, and there’s always next year.  Hockey fans never say die.

Western Conference, you’re coming up.

Foxy Friday: Taylor & Tom Pyatt

Allow me to set a scene, one I bet happened in each of your very early histories:

Doctor: “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Parents of Future WUYS Reader.  You’re having a beautiful baby girl.”

Mom and Dad: “Yes!”

Dad quickly adds: “We will never live in Thunder Bay, Ontario.”

Taylor and Tom Pyatt, brothers and fellow NHL players, are among the many reasons why.

Taylor Pyatt has had a rough season in Phoenix, notching only 7 G/9 A.  The Coyotes are very much in the playoff race, battling four other teams for the last spots in the West.  Through 11 NHL seasons, Taylor has played for the Islanders, Sabres and Canucks before coming to the Coyotes in ’09-’10.  He will be an unrestricted free agent this summer.

Many of you know the heartbreaking story of Taylor’s fiancee, who was killed in a car wreck in 2009 [link].  He missed about a month of hockey, returned for a brief playoff stint and this his contract in Vancouver was up.  He joined the Coyotes that summer. We’re glad to see that Taylor is still playing and hope he gets a solid contract at the end of this season.

Taylor’s definitely a fan favorite in Phoenix… and why not?  He looks so much like Chris Pine that I keep expecting him to order Maximum Warp.

From yotesgurl.wordpress.com... there are a LOT more!

Okay, you can have another one.

Little brother Tom Pyatt has a career-high 10 G this season, including the two he scored last night  [video].  The Lightning are slipping out of the playoff dreamscape, so this will likely be the crown on Tom’s ’11-’12 season.  A recent contract extension keeps him with the Bolts through ’13-’14.

Tom is good friends with fellow Thunder Bay “hide your daughters” native Marc Staal (was in MStaal’s wedding party).  His favorite NHL team uniform is the Blackhawks (random yes, but we applaud) [link].  That’s all I could really find.  Someone get him on the phone so we can find out how he ask if he likes the roller coasters at Busch Gardens and wants to go to spring training with us.

Tom’s birthday is Valentine’s Day, so you can buy him candy that you fully intend to eat yourself.  Maybe you can borrow this hat when you both visit the Great White North.

Check out the video of Tom’s two goals and post-game interview last night.

Someday, Canada’s going to reveal the top-secret scientific research being carried out in Thunder Bay, and they put up a sign by the road: Home of The Perfection Project.

Five-O

I hope I didn’t exhaust the #sorrychuck tag this weekend, because it needs one more outing.  Steven Stamkos scored his 50th goal of the season last night in Tampa Bay’s 6-1 rout of the Bruins.

I was #Landeskoging all over even though I wasn’t watching the game.  Stammer was the first star, naturally.

Enjoy this out-of-focus post-game interview, which will make you feel like you had a few celebratory beers.

It’s no secret that I really want Tampa Bay to make the playoffs (just not at the expense of Washington).  I refuse to acknowledge the chance this might not happen, instead preferring this formula for success:

– The Capitals win their last 12 games straight, maybe even one in regulation.

– The Lightning win 12 of their last 13, excluding the one they lose to the Caps.

– The Panthers, Sabres, Jet and Maple Leafs (and hell, the Senators too) lose all of their remaining games.

I just need more of this:

Unless Evgeni Malkin goes on a goal-scoring tear in Pittsburgh (hey, it could happen), Steven will win the Rocket Richard Trophy for most goals.  He shared the award in 2010 with Crosby – also known as the Day of the Disco Suit.

Geno and Stammer are neck-and-neck for the Art Ross Trophy (most points overall), with Gingeroux hot on their heels.  Sorry Claude but I want Stamkos for one, Malkin for the other and cupcakes for everyone.

I’ll be the girl in the Lightning shirt at the gym later.  Come say hi.

Five Things: Love Today

In honor of making it halfway through this week, here are five things that I love about today.

1. James Neal’s career-high 28th goal, and there are still 28 games left to play.  (Bonus: Awkwardly close-up post-game interview video.)

2. Steven Stamkos has scored against every NHL team [video].  And he got a League-leading 35th goal on his birthday, even if the Bolts lost.

3. Letang jumped PK Subban in defense of Geno during last night’s extra-frames shootout loss.  The video’s bad, but skip to the 1:00 mark for the tackle.

4. The Caps are #1 in the Southeast Division.  Gator and I had an excellent time watching the beat Florida 4-0.

 

5. I’d love it if the Blackhawks could win a road game, especially since they’re on a 9-game trip.  Since that hasn’t happened, any suggestions for something you love about today?

Birthday Boy: Steven Stamkos

I think it’s safe to say you all know how I feel about Steven Stamkos.  I don’t run away from just anyone in the street!  Well today is Stammer’s 22nd birthday… as if I needed an excuse to gush.

He’s handsome.

He’s charming.

And he has excellent friends.

But I digress.  Steven also has the most NHL goals ever by the age of 23 – 153 total, including 34 to lead the League this season.  Add that to 136 assists for a total of 289 points in 3.5 regular seasons.  And he’s the hero of my all-time favorite BAMF moment ever.

I know a lot of you are off Steven because of the hair.  It’s pretty awful, but I am not deterred.  And you could always focus on something else… like goals.

Right.  Goals in short sleeves.

Okay, okay.  The Lightning made a hot run through Feb/March last season, right over the Pens and Caps in the playoffs.  This year they have struggled.  They’re currently 10 points out of a playoff spot in the East, though fewer than 10 would put them into first in the Southeast and an automatic berth.  No one’s out yet.  Of their remaining 31 games, 26 are against Eastern Conference teams.

So happy birthday, Steven Stamkos.  We’re pulling for you (and carrying scissors in our purse.)  Follow Steven at @RealStamkos91 and read his ASG blog [link].  It’s no secret that good grammar and punctuation make us swoon.  (Pssst, Steven!  We take guest bloggers!)

For those of you keeping score at home, last year’s post – Birthday Boy 2011: Steven Stamkos.

A Lesson from the Professor

Last night, Patrice Bergeron gave a lesson on how to play like a boss.

Granted, he’s always exceptional in my opinion, but last night vs. the Panthers, #37 really was the #1 star of the game.

He scored both goals during regulation for the Bruins – this wrister on a sicky no-look pass from Pouliot and this tip-in on a beauty on a pass from Tyler “Teen Wolf” Seguin.

EH OH! That's a good looking goal, eh?

And as if that wasn’t enough, he scored the crucial goal in the shootout to keep the Bruins’ chances alive, allowing David Krecji to score the SO Winner.

Most of the time, Bergeron’s play isn’t fancy or stuff that is going to make it on NHL on the Fly, but what it is, is solid, consistent and smart.

And with a nickname like “The Professor”, would you really expect anything less?

Sometimes, when you win, it ain’t so pretty.  It’s okay.  It doesn’t have to be.  A win is a win, but this one was sorta ooglay.  Bruins, for some reason, have struggled against the teams in the Southeast division this season but managed to pull out a win and 2 points thanks to the skill of their assistant captain.  [ Check out Bergy’s Post-game presser here. ]

Tonight, Bruins take on the Lightning.  Normally this match-up would have us more excited, but TB is struuuugling.  Like Buttercup and Wesley in the Fire Swamp quicksand.

They are 17-23-4 and  on a 3 game losing streak.  We want them to be better because we adore Stamkos and Squishy and Matt Gilroy (Go BU!), but things just aren’t looking good for the Bolts – despite Stamkos being 2nd in the league in points (50) and leading the league in goals (30).

Tampa Bay, we have a problem.

But at least they are purty to look at.

Keep Your Chin Up

I want the Tampa Bay Lightning to play better, because they are such a happy crew.  Behind-the-scenes from the Tampa Bay Magazine cover story:

Easy, breezy, beautiful. Now cut your hair.

And there’s adorable video too [link].

Spin like a ballerina!

The Bolts are 11-13-2, while the cross-state Panthers are killing it and leading the division.  That’s right, I said the PANTHERS.  Remember when Rob Niedermayer played for them?

Stunnas.

Stammer has 16 G/13 A, which puts him near the top in goals and points.

Lean back.

But they’re struggling to put together wins.  The Lightning have dropped 9 of 15 games, including the last 4 in a row.

Squishy is a distinguished gentleman.

They play tonight against a team with a worse record – the Islanders.  It would be nice to get a running start into tough road games against the Rangers and Flyers later this week.

Everybody loves Steven.