Tag Archives: Intern Jeff Skinner

Birthday Boy: Intern Jeff Skinner

16 May

Break out the Mexicolas and sprinkles…

It’s Intern Jeff Skinner’s birthday!!

Jeff turns 20 today, so he’ll be doing… exactly what he does every other day.  Drinking a gallon of milk, giving up his seat on the Metro and buying Girl Scout cookies.  Sorry Skinns, we can Party in the USA next year.

Definitely invited.

Oh heck, we’re inviting everyone.

You told EVERYBODY?!

It’s going to have a prom theme, for all the ones Jeff didn’t get to go too.

Not funny, guys!

We promise, no figure skating jokes and Eric is going to buy the beer.

This is sounding better.

So have a good summer, Jeff…

What’s that saying? Bend and snap?

And maybe at 20 you won’t be quite so – oh, forget it.  We love it when you’re horribly embarrassed with Nealer and Stamkos laughing in the background.

This is Not My Fault

12 Mar

Before you scroll down, I’m just going to say three things:

1) Fair warning.

2) You can all stop sending me these photos now.

3) Intern Jeff Skinner can lift a LOT of office supplies.

I mean STOP IT.  I tried to resist posting these, but at least three people emailed me and this is a cheer-ocracy.  I’m not responsible for whatever you thought the moment you saw them, but I know where they’re from…

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JEFF?  You left that ice wearing three layers of clothing – did you Hulk right out of them?  There are girls in the stands who would faint (a few just fainted here).   Maybe you heard us all say we thought James Neal was kinda skinny on NHL36, or it’s because Tyler Seguin takes his shirt off every ten minutes.  If you want to keep showing off, and have 2-goal games like Saturday, we can take requests for you to jump out of birthday cakes.

And no, you still can’t have a raise.  But this was a *really* nice try.  I might have some singles…

[Real Question: What do you give strippers in Canada?  Loonies and Toonies?  Without paper dollars, I’m confused.  Or is everyone there so hot they start at the $5 range?]

Injury Island

13 Dec

Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys Injury Island.  At this point it would be easier to list NHL players who are not hurt, but we don’t want to jinx anyone.  There are still two-thirds of the season left to play.

Sidney Crosby is out again with concussion-like symptoms.  He passed the ImPACT test but says he doesn’t feel 100%.  In this case, we appreciate the caution and honesty.  And the hilarious idea that he could be less than perfect.  He’ll be keeping also concussed Kris Letang company in the press box.

Zdeno Chara sprained his knee Saturday in an injury that apparently looked worse than it was.  Coach Julien says he’s day-to-day, though doubtful for tonight vs. Los Angeles. [link]

Mike Green is seeing a specialist for his injured groin.  I could make so many jokes if I weren’t crying.  Nicky used all the tissues and I’m wiping tears on my sleeve now.  Mike is skating and his spirits are high (a Twitter-verified fact), but he has played in only 8 games this season.  The Washington Express had a big, sad story on him today [link, page 9].

Claude Giroux, possibly the only ginger human I don’t like, is out indefinitely with a concussion.  He was injured by friendly fire on Saturday when Wayne Simmonds’ knee caught his head as Simmonds attempted to jump over Giroux’s fallen body.  [link]

The Islanders activated Evgeni Nabakov from injured reserve yesterday; apparently his groin injury is healed.  Good thing because Rick DiPietro (go BU) is out with the same problem. [link – and why did the Sacramento Bee pick up this story?]

Intern Jeff Skinner owes a few dollars to the Liar Jar, we think.  It was reported Friday that Jeff had “flu-like symptoms,” while everyone thought he might be concussed from a hit he took vs. EDM on Wednesday.  Coach Muller says they’re wrong, but Skinns is questionable for tonight vs. Toronto. [link]

Don't try to distract us! We are really worried!

Sabres Mike WeberPaul Gaustad and Patrick Kaleta are returning to the lineup, which still leaves them with approximately 212 injured players. [link]

Foxy Friday Mike Richards gave his first interview since sustaining a head injury (unofficial concussion) on December 1. [link]  Even after the hit he can’t stop talking trash and getting in people’s faces.

Brian Gionta (BC sucks) has missed one game with a lower body injury, and is expected to miss tonight.  The Habs currently have 8 (hundred) players out of the lineup. [link]

The Cancuks will get Dan Hamhuis and Cody Hodgson back tonight, leaving them with 10 other injured players.

AND…

Last but not least...

Calgary’s Alex Tanguay had the flu. He’s better.  That’s my lobster!

Independent Study

14 Nov

I went to look for this video and I typed “Intern Jeff Skinner” into Google. Hahahahaha.

And then Pants screamed like this and I said, "No, I am not calling James Neal for you. Give me back my phone."

Well Intern Jeff Skinner set his dimples to stun on Saturday night and had 3 points against the Penguins.  If I didn’t love him, I’d hate him.  He scored a scrappy little backhand lifter, then served up a pass to Tuomo Ruuto that was almost as cute as he is.  The third point was sheer determination – look at him trying to go through Nisky! – he would have scored it himself in another second.  Finns & Skinns, they are called.  So much cute.

 

Jeff leads his team with 7 G/10 A and 2 game-winning goals.

The Canes were 2-8 for their last 10 games and EStaal was having a very rough go of it.  He hadn’t scored in 10 games and was -16.  Saturday he moved to wing, off his usual center position, to shake things up and it worked:  EStaal had an assist and the GWG.  He’s still -17, but it’s a start.  Best part?  He watched Skinns to learn!

“I felt OK on the wing,” said Staal after the game. “It was a little bit of an adjustment, but watching [Jeff] Skinner a little bit in the first and second, I kind of figured it out in the third.” [link]

So while I never want the Pens to lose, I felt a little okay about this one.  The Canes really needed it.  Maybe it was the crap-tastic Capitals game we were at while this unfolded – at least the Pens were trying.

Foxy Friday: 11.11.11

11 Nov

That is, Happy Jordan Staal Day everyone!

You may insert your own favorite #11, from this list of all active players wearing today’s lucky number:

There’s a legitimate campaign around WUYS to make it Zach Boychuck day, but we told Intern Jeff Skinner he can’t vote for his own roommate .  Especially when said roommate gives away all his secrets on Twitter.

Plus if you don’t pick Jordan, he’ll be pretty sad.  Don’t make Jordan sad (he’s already got the pretty locked up).

Intern Desk: Win a Date

20 Oct

Intern Jeff Skinner here, announcing an Independent Study that I’m taking as part of my job with WUYS.  Why not do more work, eh?  It’s not like they pay me.  My objective (as clearly stated in my WUYS Thesis Outline) is to get Pants and Gator to come to Raleigh to see me.  I went to DC and they only came over for 10 minutes, then spent the entire time looking at Captain Eric.  I know he’s blond.  I KNOW!

I’m breaking out the big guns (and I don’t mean my new arms… this time):

See that bobblehead?  The one with the Calder Trophy we’re giving away on 11/14?  Match that to your Logan Couture teal nail polish, Pants!  But it turns out Chuck will be in DC that weekend.  WHAT.  How about wall clings on 12/1 – perfect for the office!  The car!  But the freaking Penguins are in DC that night.  First Chuck, then Neal.  I might have to call that James Neal up right now and give him a piece of my mind.  I have his number, did you know that Pants?  Oh, you’ve secured DCPD cell phone triangulation equipment?  Well FINE!

That’s right – I’m giving away a DATE.  How do you like that?  There are zero details on this promotion because I am mysterious and playing hard-to-get.  And in case Pants wins, because then we’re going to Canada and I’m drinking a beer.  I can do that now.

Once around the tree, the fox chased the rabbit...

You guys should enter the contest – it’s right here [link].  Pants already entered, I checked.  If you won, we could go apple picking or Christmas caroling and she’d be really jealous.  We could go to Eric’s for pre-game meal, then I’d give you a jersey and score you a goal and everything.  I hear girls love that stuff.  Then I’d be all shy and embarrassed when they ask about you post-game but I’ll just say that I could hear you cheering loudest of all.

Sigh.  That sounds pretty good, eh?  I hope you win.  Yes, you.  I’ll post lots of pictures of our date on WUYS and not even bring Pants a Mexicola that day.  Then she’ll have to come to Carolina.

Intern Desk: Dear Diary

22 Sep

A bunch of you sent us this link and I’m so sorry that I’m slow in posting.  I was laugh-crying so hard I couldn’t type.

Some gems from this fantastic game show:

Most Uncomfortable: Intern Jeff Skinner’s “short shifts” apparently translate off the ice.  Is he old enough to be making these jokes?

Best Admission of Guilt: “This is awkward.” – Intern Jeff Skinner

Good Will Hunting Award: Tyler Seguin’s fractions – 4.2, 4.3

Best Time to Cheat: “A lot of women watch this.” – Cabbie to Seguin as he grades his own ‘stick handling’

Best Answer That Isn’t Cheating: “Soft mitts off the ice.” – Stammer gives himself a 5 for ‘stick handling’

But the best best best overall part of this video?  James Neal & Steven Stamkos LOVE each other.  Intern Jeff Skinner really knows how to keep his job around here.

Dear Cabbie, please host the NHL Awards.  Dear NHL, you know I’m right.