We’re trying to keep Foxy Fridays to players still in the playoffs, since summer is long and cruel. The pickings are getting a little slim. But imagine if, say, the Wild had made it this far? Blank pages, people.
Chuck is busy at her real job today (borrrrring!), so I’m honoring her turn by choosing a player she and Dawn both like. Me? I’ll decide by the end of this post. A rather indelicate but obvious choice: Jeff Carter.
A Jeff Carter post takes time because I can’t stop laughing. Not at his hockey skill, showcased from time to time, but because life is so gloriously full of bad decision yet to be made. For Carter, you want to make those bad decisions and wake up in the bottom of a rowboat during Spring Break, painted blue and holding a twenty dollar bill (really happened to someone I know, now starting a rumor that Carter was involved).
These are my Hollywood jeans.
Carts is 27, born on New Year’s Day in 1985. He played six seasons with the Flyers before being rather spectacularly dumped by Post-It Note (okay, not quite) after the ’10-’11 season. Stories and photos of his extra-curricular activities were the all-but-confirmed reason he and life-partner Mike Richards were sent packing. (Holy hyphens.)
Google the pictures. Carter should do a public service announcement called “Don’t Let Your Boss See This on Facebook.”
Wait. The stripper pole in your place, or the one in mine?
Foxy Friday Flashback: Mike Richards
Carter landed with the Blue Jackets like a bug “lands” on your windshield at high speed. That lasted until February when he was sent to the LA Kings casting couch to be reunited with Richie. If hockey were more popular, this would have been show on Bravo.
Which member of this bromance married up?
Jeff, who has one 40-goal and two 30-goal seasons, didn’t exactly blast onto the ice in LA, with 6 goals in 16 games. But remember when the Kings were LAST in the NHL in offense this season? Things have certainly changed for them, and maybe for Carts. His hat-trick on Tuesday night was pretty sexy.
This is my grown-up face.
The thing with Carts is he makes $6+ million/year and has 10 years (!!!) left on his contract. He’s been called overpaid more times that he’s been called a sloppy drunk. The only way to battle that is to settle back into his 2008-2011 groove… after the Kings win the whole thing this year (Chuck and Dawn applaud) and we’re all invited to the party.
On our next episode: “Guys! We’re going streaking!”
How do I feel after all this? Eh. While Carts is chasing the Cup and working on his impressive beard, you can enjoy him. I’ll look at this picture and think 1) Danny Briere might as well be wearing a snowsuit and 2) I still like him better.
Except for this – this is fantastic. And only on Canadian Sportscentre.