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A Moment Of Silence-Please

9 Sep

My bat phone rang last night and no it wasn’t Kris Letang calling me to sing me to sleep – or whisper sweet French nothings as I drift off and dream of Ovi finally returning to Pre-2005 form.

A girl has her limits …Ovi!

Did that really happen?

Did that really happen?

I thought it would be just a bad dream. But no. It really did happen.

Yes, Dawn, I retired. I'm sorry.

Yes, Dawn, I retired. I’m sorry.

A moment of silence please as I morn the retirement of Miikka Kiprusoff. I’ve already made him the exalted and honored Foxy Friday. Everyone knows I love goalies. I’ve already said all there is to say about this God of Net-minders; this Wall of determination who could literally make the puck turn away from his net by sheer mental fortitude.

But I will smile for you once, ok maybe twice.

But I will smile for you once, ok maybe twice.

See?

See?

Calgary – that was the last nail your coffin dudes. You don’t miss someone like Kiprusoff. You morn the loss because there are few and far between goalie talents like him.

I bang my stick and thank you Kippy for the years of hard work and dedication you gave to the sport, to your teammates and Calgary without worrying about jumping ship to win a cup.

Enjoy these highlights. There won’t be anymore.

Kings Of The Road

4 Jun

If any of you have watched NBC’s Post Game wrap-up, then you know Other-Brother-Darryl needs to take that sh*t on the road! Because having handled talent and sat through countless hours of interviews and seen press chewed up and spat out by the best, Other-Brother-Darryl ranks right up there only he is god damn funny about it.

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!


Even though each game has gone into OT, the LA KINGS have shown they can re-group when it matters and pull it out. For the GW – it was Pancakes for the block on Brodeur and Carter came in on the blocker side. You totally know Richards and Carter made sweet love on the 6 hour flight back to Los Angeles and ravaged the mini bar to boot!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Pancakes For Everyone – Uno, Dos, Adiós!

23 May

My cats have banned me from the TV. Osiris Jones actually mews at anyone who swears. True Story. And there was a ton of it tonight. I swear like a sailor and many of Mr. Cherrie’s friends think I learned it from him but actually, I taught him pretty much everything he knows. My grandfather worked on the railroad in the Great Depression.

Winner, Winner, Pancake Dinner!

I told Mr. Cherrie when the game went into O.T. Pancakes was going to get the GWG. He just rolled his eyes at me since everyone was calling it the Radim Vrbata show.

I only wish I had this much time on my hands ….

And Drew Doughty was a man on fire and I have officially decided he has earned his own version of the Gordie Howe Hat Trick – THE DREW DOUGHTY HAT TRICK: he shoots a GOD D#$M LAZER ROCKETbut someone else taps, touches, directs, goes off their skate, pad, face or otherwise touches the pucks so he only gets the assist on an otherwise masterful shot. But that’s OK because he’s one cool cat and a goal is a goal.

The win didn’t come without controversy when Brown took out Rozsival with a devastating hit and a penalty wasn’t called because the Coyotes were off-sides. Just after Rozsival was taken off the ice, LA scored and the hand shake line was less than cordial with the classy Coyotes fan throwing crap on to the ice.

Pancake’s interview after the game was self-deprecating referring to Quick as Mr. Vezina-Smyth. He also said that he was going to enjoy this trip to the Stanley Cup more than the last.

Stat Girl has a few things to tease your brain with:

LA KINGS are the first 8th seed EVER to dispatch the 1st, 2nd and 3rd seed teams.

LA KINGS have broken the NHL record with 8 straight road wins in a play-off season.

LA KING have broken the NHL record with 10 straight road wins in consecutive seasons.

So a BIG WUYS congratulation LA KINGS! Here’s to your second trip ever to the Stanley Cup Finals.

As Cartman loves to say: “GO KINGS GO!”

Foxy Friday: Jeff Carter

18 May

We’re trying to keep Foxy Fridays to players still in the playoffs, since summer is long and cruel.  The pickings are getting a little slim.  But imagine if, say, the Wild had made it this far?  Blank pages, people.

Chuck is busy at her real job today (borrrrring!), so I’m honoring her turn by choosing a player she and Dawn both like.  Me?  I’ll decide by the end of this post.  A rather indelicate but obvious choice: Jeff Carter.

Only kidding.

No, really.

A Jeff Carter post takes time because I can’t stop laughing.  Not at his hockey skill, showcased from time to time, but because life is so gloriously full of bad decision yet to be made.  For Carter,  you want to make those bad decisions and wake up in the bottom of a rowboat during Spring Break, painted blue and holding a twenty dollar bill (really happened to someone I know, now starting a rumor that Carter was involved).

These are my Hollywood jeans.

Carts is 27, born on New Year’s Day in 1985.  He played six seasons with the Flyers before being rather spectacularly dumped by Post-It Note (okay, not quite) after the ’10-’11 season.  Stories and photos of his extra-curricular activities were the all-but-confirmed reason he and life-partner Mike Richards were sent packing. (Holy hyphens.)

Google the pictures. Carter should do a public service announcement called “Don’t Let Your Boss See This on Facebook.”

Wait.  The stripper pole in your place, or the one in mine?

Foxy Friday Flashback: Mike Richards

Carter landed with the Blue Jackets like a bug “lands” on your windshield at high speed.  That lasted until February when he was sent to the LA Kings casting couch to be reunited with Richie.  If hockey were more popular, this would have been show on Bravo.

Which member of this bromance married up?

Jeff, who has one 40-goal and two 30-goal seasons, didn’t exactly blast onto the ice in LA, with 6 goals in 16 games.  But remember when the Kings were LAST in the NHL in offense this season?  Things have certainly changed for them, and maybe for Carts.  His hat-trick on Tuesday night was pretty sexy.

This is my grown-up face.

The thing with Carts is he makes $6+ million/year and has 10 years (!!!) left on his contract.  He’s been called overpaid more times that he’s been called a sloppy drunk.  The only way to battle that is to settle back into his 2008-2011 groove…  after the Kings win the whole thing this year (Chuck and Dawn applaud) and we’re all invited to the party.

On our next episode: “Guys! We’re going streaking!”

How do I feel after all this?  Eh.  While Carts is chasing the Cup and working on his impressive beard, you can enjoy him.  I’ll look at this picture and think 1) Danny Briere might as well be wearing a snowsuit and 2) I still like him better.

Except for this – this is fantastic.  And only on Canadian Sportscentre.

Ugly Still Gets It Done

18 May

um .. did I say Ugly? nah .. I’d take a ride into the boards with these guys ANY DAY!

Last night’s game was like the first episode of The Bachelorette. 25 suitors vying for one slightly used but marginally OK single mom.

LA’s Dennis the Menace

Not a lot of rough stuff – Shane Doan with yet another penalty, a few taunts, a couple of chest puffs but all in all, a tight game with one impression rose – Dwight King – I’m looking at you – Rookie Stand out with his 5th goal and Game Winner! Short side – high glove – like a goal scorer.

It wasn’t either team’s best game but the Kings still came out on top. Which begs the question: Come Saturday – will the Coyotes bring it or will they be swept and wept?

Kopi’s not ready for summer yet!

Not that I like to rub salt in a wound but at this point, I’m about records and captions and I’m dying to use: uno, dos, adiós….

Pancakes Makes French Toast – Carter Tricks for Hats

16 May

The Kings devastated the Coyotes last night in more ways than one. The Coyotes bit back and not in a nice way. I was going to take the high road in this post and talk about how adorable Antoine Vermette was in his pre-game interview but then the Coyotes took a page from the Penguin’s book of Poor Sports and all this happened:

Shane Doan takes Trevor Lewis’ face for a wipe board. OK-  he did turn but a delayed penalty had already been called for slashing on BROWN so all Doan needed to do was reach for the puck – not take Lewis’ face for a ride. He got thrown out which was appropriate – IN MY OPINION.

Mike Smith slashes Dustin Brown in the back of the knees. They get MATCHING penalties because the ref thinks Brown is embellishing – HELLO! Anyone who gets the craps smacked out of the back of their knees with a goalie stick by a 6’3” MONSTER isn’t embellishing ANYTHING.

As one commentator said, “If that was acting, it’s some of the best to come out of Hollywood in years!”

Then Hanzal decides ride Brown into the boards like a whore on Saturday night. Fellas, I get it, you’re frustrated. You got your asses handed to you by an 8th seed team for a second night. But this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Then – my favorite of the night – Dustin “Pancakes” Penner decides enough is enough and when a scrum breaks out to quell it, he just sits on Antoine Vermette. Awesomesauce. Nothing says shut your face like a 6’ 4” manbeast sitting on your lame ass.

Oh did I mention that Jeff Carter, man of the hour, got a natural hat trick? The first one for the Kings in the play-offs since  – oh – Wayne Gretzky in 1993? Yeah … that happen too last night!

HAPPY SUTTER/ANGRY SUTTER

OH WHAT A NIGHT! Feel good about that one guys. Mad respect for your play. But I knew that – 😉

Kings Kickin’ Butt

15 May

Dawn – you are so funny. Calling me to wish me good luck tonight!

So the LA King’s have lost only one play-off game so far … No, that is not a typo. ONE.

This is what you want from your captain – A COMPLETE BEAST!

Coach Dave Tippett of the Coyotes, seems to be the only other person on the planet besides me, the only LA KINGS fans (OK – I know there are like – four of us) who know how AWESOME they are and should FEAR their AWESOMENESS.

The press conference after game one went pretty much like this:

Kopitar NEVER gives up on a puck – NEVER

Press person: Coach, how do you think Kopitar was able to blah blah…

Tippett: I didn’t give a F**K about Kopitar. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press person: So when Brown did blah blah blah …

Tippett: I don’t give a F**K about Brown. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press Person: So when they scored again in the second period …

Tippett: Maybe you didn’t hear me the second time, I have to don’t give a F**K about the LA KINGS right now, I have to worry about my players and the fact that they didn’t perform tonight. Any more questions? Alright. Thanks.

GO KINGS! KEEP BEING UNDER-RATED  – RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU WIN THE CUP!

MY BOYS! BREAKING BAD!