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Los Angeles Kings – Stanley Cup Champs

12 Jun

Remember yesterday when I said that the Kings needed to play like a hockey Borg to win the Stanley Cup

Well, folks.  They did just that.

New Jersey Devils resistance was utterly futile.

Shiny.

Last night, the Kings went into full-on beast mode and beat the New Jersey Devils 6-1 to clinch the first Stanley Cup in the franchise’s 45 year history.

This team, and their entire playoff run was epic – one of firsts, impressive records, and feats of altheticism and skill that make us super jealous.

The Kings barely made the playoffs and are the first ever eight-seed to win the Cup.  They did so with an impressive 16-4 record and a unimaginable 10-1 road record.

They rolled over the #1, #2, and #3 seeds in the Western Conference in dominating fashion and matched the second-fastest run to a Stanley Cup Championship in modern NHL history.

It was no surprise that Jonathan Quick won the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP.  Pretty sure his goals-against-average was like -4 and he had a save percentage of eleventy billion.  (It was actually 1.41 GAA and .946 save percentage – both NHL records)

Quick also became the 3rd American-born player to win the Conn Smythe.  Fellow goalie Tim Thomas won last year (like we could forget) and waaaay back in 1994 (when Quick was 8 years old), Brian Leetch from the NY Rangers won it.

Another little tidbit of trivia info – Leetch and Quick both went to school at Avon Old Farms in Connecticut and played in Hockey East (Leetch at Boston College, Quick at UMass Amherst).  Oh and Thomas went to University of Vermont – also a Hockey East school.  HOCKEY EAST REPRESENT!

Daddy, you won! Can I have some M&Ms?

The game itself had a intensity befitting a potential Stanley Cup cliniching game and there can be no doubt that its defining moment came in the first period when the Devils’ Steve Bernier boarded Rob Scuderi.

Scuderi was left bloodied and bruised.

Bernier felt shame and was ejected, resulting in a five-minute power play for the Kings.

During that five minutes, the captain Dustin Brown, Jeff Carter, and Trevor Lewis each scored goals.  The Kings never looked back.

Brown also added two assists and became just the 2nd American-born captain to raise the Cup.  He managed to accomplish that which the Great One, Wayne Gretzky, could not do in his eight year tenure with the Kings.

Anze Kopitar has poised himself on the edge of NHL super stardom.  He tied for the playoff lead in points (20) and goals (8), and finished a ridiculous +16.  Not only is he the first Slovenian to play in the NHL, but now he’ll be the first ever to have his name engraved on the Cup.

He also is the first ever to wear this in a post-game interview.

All hail King Kopitar!

This team was chockful of talent and size and skill and they peaked at the most perfect time.  Their regular season was inconsistent at best as they struggled to score goals, but something special happened after Darryl Sutter took over the team midseason.

So special in fact, that it earned them the most coveted and respected trophy in all of sports.

We are very much looking forward to the Kings’ summer with the Cup and all the photos, tweets, and stories that will undoubtedly follow.

We want to see Dustin Penner eat some pancakes out of the Cup.

We want to Carter and Richards take the Cup on a sunset stroll on the beach.

But most of all, we want to see the players, and their family, friends, and fans, savor every moment of this incredible accomplishment.

CONGRATS to the 2012 Stanley Cup Champion, Los Angeles Kings!

One Win Away…

11 Jun

So Game 5 didn’t exactly turn out as we hoped, but tonight, the Kings have the chance to close out the series (again) and win their first ever Stanley Cup.

While we don’t like the Devils, we have to give them props for not laying down in front of the purple and black freight train and for pushing the series to a Game 6.

Last week, the Devils were down 3-0 in the series, teetering percariously on the edge, Jonathan Quick poised to send them tumbling into the abyss of the SCF sweep.

No goal for you.

But leave it to Marty Brodeur, the 4o year old future Hall of Fame netminder, to bring the Devils back and for the players like Parise, Salvador, and he of the creeper ‘stach, Henrique, to step up big time.

Have the Devils totally messed with the Kings’ hockey chi?  Will they come from 3-0 down to win their 4th Stanley Cup?

Mike Richards and his heterosexual life partner, Jeff Carter are determined to not make that happen.

Their epic bromance will conquer all.

Most epic of bromances.

If there ever was a time that these two needed to step up, it is tonight.

Time to silence all those hater and critics and to show the Flyers fans what they could have had.

I have confidence in the Kings.  They just need to play the way that they’ve been playing the entire playoffs.  With physicality, skill, strength. But most importantly, to play like one being,  a hockey borg, if you will.

Take a deep breath, boys.  Keep calm and carry on.

Exhale.

Kings Of The Road

4 Jun

If any of you have watched NBC’s Post Game wrap-up, then you know Other-Brother-Darryl needs to take that sh*t on the road! Because having handled talent and sat through countless hours of interviews and seen press chewed up and spat out by the best, Other-Brother-Darryl ranks right up there only he is god damn funny about it.

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!


Even though each game has gone into OT, the LA KINGS have shown they can re-group when it matters and pull it out. For the GW – it was Pancakes for the block on Brodeur and Carter came in on the blocker side. You totally know Richards and Carter made sweet love on the 6 hour flight back to Los Angeles and ravaged the mini bar to boot!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Pancakes Makes French Toast – Carter Tricks for Hats

16 May

The Kings devastated the Coyotes last night in more ways than one. The Coyotes bit back and not in a nice way. I was going to take the high road in this post and talk about how adorable Antoine Vermette was in his pre-game interview but then the Coyotes took a page from the Penguin’s book of Poor Sports and all this happened:

Shane Doan takes Trevor Lewis’ face for a wipe board. OK-  he did turn but a delayed penalty had already been called for slashing on BROWN so all Doan needed to do was reach for the puck – not take Lewis’ face for a ride. He got thrown out which was appropriate – IN MY OPINION.

Mike Smith slashes Dustin Brown in the back of the knees. They get MATCHING penalties because the ref thinks Brown is embellishing – HELLO! Anyone who gets the craps smacked out of the back of their knees with a goalie stick by a 6’3” MONSTER isn’t embellishing ANYTHING.

As one commentator said, “If that was acting, it’s some of the best to come out of Hollywood in years!”

Then Hanzal decides ride Brown into the boards like a whore on Saturday night. Fellas, I get it, you’re frustrated. You got your asses handed to you by an 8th seed team for a second night. But this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Then – my favorite of the night – Dustin “Pancakes” Penner decides enough is enough and when a scrum breaks out to quell it, he just sits on Antoine Vermette. Awesomesauce. Nothing says shut your face like a 6’ 4” manbeast sitting on your lame ass.

Oh did I mention that Jeff Carter, man of the hour, got a natural hat trick? The first one for the Kings in the play-offs since  – oh – Wayne Gretzky in 1993? Yeah … that happen too last night!

HAPPY SUTTER/ANGRY SUTTER

OH WHAT A NIGHT! Feel good about that one guys. Mad respect for your play. But I knew that – 😉

Kings Kickin’ Butt

15 May

Dawn – you are so funny. Calling me to wish me good luck tonight!

So the LA King’s have lost only one play-off game so far … No, that is not a typo. ONE.

This is what you want from your captain – A COMPLETE BEAST!

Coach Dave Tippett of the Coyotes, seems to be the only other person on the planet besides me, the only LA KINGS fans (OK – I know there are like – four of us) who know how AWESOME they are and should FEAR their AWESOMENESS.

The press conference after game one went pretty much like this:

Kopitar NEVER gives up on a puck – NEVER

Press person: Coach, how do you think Kopitar was able to blah blah…

Tippett: I didn’t give a F**K about Kopitar. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press person: So when Brown did blah blah blah …

Tippett: I don’t give a F**K about Brown. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press Person: So when they scored again in the second period …

Tippett: Maybe you didn’t hear me the second time, I have to don’t give a F**K about the LA KINGS right now, I have to worry about my players and the fact that they didn’t perform tonight. Any more questions? Alright. Thanks.

GO KINGS! KEEP BEING UNDER-RATED  – RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU WIN THE CUP!

MY BOYS! BREAKING BAD!

All Hail Jarret Stoll!

24 Apr

 So the Kings making it past Vancouver was like this happening …

But my friends once in a blue moon dreams do come true! So taste the rainbow Kings fans!

And it was all because of the guy with the most AWESOME hair this side of the Mississippi! And I can attest from seeing it in person. HOLY CRAP! It deserves a post of its own – hell, it deserves a facebook page of its own. Le-swoon. Plus, who knew Jarret Stoll was snaggin’ hotties under the radar like this?

 

yes, that's super model Rachel Hunter with the newly dubbed, west coast - 'bigboy hair'

But what’s really important is what he does on the ice which is this:

But I’ll be honest, it’s nice that under all that is this too :

LA seems to agree with Mr. Stoll

Cruel Summer – Penguins

24 Apr

For a few days after something bad happens, you don’t want to be cheered up.  You want to drown in a cocktail shaker or eat an entire wedding cake.  If you’re me, you picked a bright orange heavy bag and kickboxed the crap out of it a la Captain America.

Then life goes on.  Other teams win and lose, and to keep me from slipping out of reach after last night’s Blackhawks loss, I need a moment to thank the Penguins for a great season.

Prom Night 2012. They obviously tried to take the photo before Letang showed up, but no such luck. The man even looks good in a ponytail.

The waiting was the hardest part.   I held my breath a lot, exhaling mostly in the form of cheers for for Malkin and Neal and all those beautiful points.  When Crosby was finally back for good, all I could do was sigh.

At the end, the Penguins went a little haywire.  Their top-of-the-line hardware should run like a fighter jet, but somewhere in the programming the machine became human.  Their system fell apart in the first three games vs. Philly and couldn’t recover.  But like the computer you’re on right now, you don’t throw it away when it malfunctions.  You smack it and threaten to chuck it out the window, but really you just shut down, wait a minute and reboot.

Or you go on summer vacation.

To send the Pens off, here are a few things we demand to see this summer.

We Want: James Neal in Glasses

Nealmobile once came a contact lense away from a career-ending eye injury [link].  He could have been finger painting like Doug Dorsey!  Thank God for small miracles.  Where there are contacts, there are glasses, and some super sleuth found them in NHL36:

The old adage “boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” is not at all true for girls.  We LOVE your glasses (without ever seeing you wear them).  In fact, how dare you deprive us?  Mike Green would never do that.  Since it’s only April and you’re gone, at least give us this.

We Want: Geno’s T-Shirt Collection

We didn’t get enough hilarity out of Geno’s wardrobe this year.  The man alternately shops at Charlotte Russe and the Hustler Store, which can only mean one thing: we can’t wait to see what he’s wearing at the high-roller table in Vegas when he picks up that Hart Trophy.

We Want: Niskanen and Sullivan

Matt Niskanen’s (RFA) middle name is Norman for heaven’s sake.  Sullivan (UFA) fits in on any line and plays like he’s in his twenties.  Sign them now.

We Want: Workout Videos

Show us how hard you’re working, how dedicated you are to the new season.  That’s what these videos are about, right?  Last year we posted Kris Letang’s [link] and you guys all disappeared for a week.  Maybe this year, James Neal won’t be ignored in the Camp Biosteel videos.

I think that’s everything we need for the next five months.  Players eat their Wheaties and do their squats while we save up cash for tickets and merch.  See you all in Septemb…  hahahaha.  RIGHT.

We Want:

Crosby, where are the rest of these pictures?

Caption removed for inadequacy.

And even this.

Neal's going to need a lot of help putting on that SPF 75.

Don’t you feel at least a little better now?