A Moment Of Silence-Please

9 Sep

My bat phone rang last night and no it wasn’t Kris Letang calling me to sing me to sleep – or whisper sweet French nothings as I drift off and dream of Ovi finally returning to Pre-2005 form.

A girl has her limits …Ovi!

Did that really happen?

Did that really happen?

I thought it would be just a bad dream. But no. It really did happen.

Yes, Dawn, I retired. I'm sorry.

Yes, Dawn, I retired. I’m sorry.

A moment of silence please as I morn the retirement of Miikka Kiprusoff. I’ve already made him the exalted and honored Foxy Friday. Everyone knows I love goalies. I’ve already said all there is to say about this God of Net-minders; this Wall of determination who could literally make the puck turn away from his net by sheer mental fortitude.

But I will smile for you once, ok maybe twice.

But I will smile for you once, ok maybe twice.

See?

See?

Calgary – that was the last nail your coffin dudes. You don’t miss someone like Kiprusoff. You morn the loss because there are few and far between goalie talents like him.

I bang my stick and thank you Kippy for the years of hard work and dedication you gave to the sport, to your teammates and Calgary without worrying about jumping ship to win a cup.

Enjoy these highlights. There won’t be anymore.

Be Right Back

14 Jun

Hey, where is everybody?

We have run tripped fallen chased followed been invited by Sid to the beach.

We’re making some small off-season tweaks around here.  Well, we are not actually doing anything – someone fantastically sci-fi is manning the ship (Hi Vince!).  Chuck and I are busy wondering if Sid had to wear these shorts out of the store because he tried them on and couldn’t get them off.

(Thanks to the irreplaceable @amandalitty, official Finder of Great Stuff and master of the interwebs.)

What It Feels Like for A Kings Fan

13 Jun

Today, WUYS has a very special guest post from my friend and über Kings fan extraordinaire, Aaron Vaccaro.  As you may remember, I wrote a dedication post to Aaron and my cousin Tom right before the Kings started the Stanley Cup Finals.  Now that they’ve actually won it, we wanted to bring Aaron into the WUYS fold to share what it feels like to be a Kings fan right at this very moment.


Let me start off by saying it’s a good thing this isn’t a vlog otherwise you’d be watching me fill my playoff beard with tears of joy.

Here’s what you need to know about me…

My name is Aaron Vaccaro.  I am a Los Angeles Kings fan. I’ve been a Los Angeles Kings fan for twenty-five of my twenty-nine years on this Earth.

Baby Aaron. Just as cute as Baby Toews.

Being a Kings fan has been a rough road. very rough road. The kind of road you only expect to encounter in a third world country.

But none of that matters anymore. Because as I write this, the Kings have been Stanley Cup champions for just over twenty-four hours and I’ve had a case of goose bumps for just as long.

For those who have been living under a rock for the last two months, you unfortunately missed one of the most historical runs by any NHL team ever.

I could give you all of the record-setting facts and figures, but Chuck and Pants didn’t ask me to do a guest post to bore you with that kind of stuff. They instead asked me to try to convey what it feels like to be a Kings fan right now… Well, I’ll tell you… it’s amazing.

Aaron is all his hockey glory.

This has been a rollercoaster of a year for us fans as much as it was for the team itself. We came into the season with high expectations only to have them all but dashed by December, which unfortunately was not unfamiliar territory for Kings fans.

We all started to drink a lot heavier, thinking it was another season where we’d be on the outside looking in as some other team would taste the glory that we’d never gotten to taste.

But then the tide started to turn after a coaching change was made, a trade deadline acquisition brought Jeff Carter to the team, and everything started to click. The Kings managed to squeak into the playoffs and the “Team of Destiny” train left the station bound for eternal glory.

Was I at the game? No. Mainly because I’m not a celebrity, agent, doctor, lawyer, or fan willing to sell off the rights to their first born.

Okay, to be honest, I would’ve sold off the rights to my first-born if that was acceptable tender.

Do I wish I could’ve been at the game? Of course. That’s a dumb question, and I’m mad I even asked myself that.

But alas, I was instead relegated to watching the game at our local dive bar. But this wasn’t just any dive. Sure, they have PBR on tap, and a mean plate of onion rings, but they were also filled with wall-to-wall Kings fans making it the best dive bar in Los Angeles as far as I was concerned.

We were surrounded by other fellow fans that had spent years bleeding black, silver, white, purple, gold (okay, so we’ve had a lot of different jersey colors…)

There was lots of drinking, cheering, high-fiving, and bearded men hugging complete strangers, most of which were also bearded men.  It was a truly beautiful site.

Aaron and his friend…who looks suspiciously a little like Mike Richards.

Up until two months ago, I was used to getting this question: “You’re a Kings fan? Why?”

My answer – “We don’t choose the teams we want to be fans of.  They choose us.

They captivate us, enthrall us, and make us realize we’ll do whatever it takes (including murdering a hobo) if that means we would get the chance to see that team win a championship. And believe me, I was close to committing homicide.

People don’t realize what it was like for us to watch the Anaheim Ducks win the Stanley Cup back in 2007.

I’ll tell you what it was like…utterly humiliating.

Not only did we have to watch a team based on Emilio Estevez movie win our trophy, but we also had to watch them do it in only fourteen seasons of existence. For those of you counting at home, it took the Kings thirty one years longer. Compound onto that every Ducks fan reminding us of this fact for the past five years and you could probably taste our pain and sorrow.

But that all ended last night. We will know longer be ridiculed. We’re once again the only team that matters in Southern California.

Disco Inferno.

Los Angeles is a town that isn’t considered to have much of an identity. Geographically spread out, it’s easy to think there is no unity in this city. Hell, I even questioned it for a period of time. But these last few weeks, I’ve never felt closer to my fellow Angelenos. Sure, you can scoff and say, “Well, those are just bandwagoners. They’re not real fans.” You’re right. They probably are just bandwagoners. But who cares?! It’s people paying attention to hockey in a town where all the AM sports talk radio is completely dominated by Lakers, Clippers, and Dodgers. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of room on the bandwagon for all of you. People accuse Los Angeles of simply just “loving a winner.” Hell yeah we do. Every town loves a winner. Tell me a town that hates to see their teams win and I promise to streak naked through Downtown L.A. in nothing but my Stanley Cup champion hat.

Dan Patrick is boss, ya’ll.

2012 will go down as easily one of the greatest, if not the greatest years of my life. Not only did I get to witness the Kings hoist that beautiful piece of metal, but I’m also getting married to the love of my life in three weeks. It doesn’t get much better than that, folks.

Ooh! Unless I can convince Dustin Brown to spend his day with the Cup at our wedding. Anybody got his number?

Hey Dustin, call me. Maybe.

I couldn’t be more proud to call myself a Kings fan for these past twenty-five years and have no doubt I will be one till my dying breath. Because that’s what it means to love a team this much. Now, go enjoy yourselves, Kings. You deserve it. We did it, boys…

Go Kings Go!

Check out Aaron on the twitter at @badmovienitecom or on his website www.badmovienite.com


Los Angeles Kings – Stanley Cup Champs

12 Jun

Remember yesterday when I said that the Kings needed to play like a hockey Borg to win the Stanley Cup

Well, folks.  They did just that.

New Jersey Devils resistance was utterly futile.

Shiny.

Last night, the Kings went into full-on beast mode and beat the New Jersey Devils 6-1 to clinch the first Stanley Cup in the franchise’s 45 year history.

This team, and their entire playoff run was epic – one of firsts, impressive records, and feats of altheticism and skill that make us super jealous.

The Kings barely made the playoffs and are the first ever eight-seed to win the Cup.  They did so with an impressive 16-4 record and a unimaginable 10-1 road record.

They rolled over the #1, #2, and #3 seeds in the Western Conference in dominating fashion and matched the second-fastest run to a Stanley Cup Championship in modern NHL history.

It was no surprise that Jonathan Quick won the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP.  Pretty sure his goals-against-average was like -4 and he had a save percentage of eleventy billion.  (It was actually 1.41 GAA and .946 save percentage – both NHL records)

Quick also became the 3rd American-born player to win the Conn Smythe.  Fellow goalie Tim Thomas won last year (like we could forget) and waaaay back in 1994 (when Quick was 8 years old), Brian Leetch from the NY Rangers won it.

Another little tidbit of trivia info – Leetch and Quick both went to school at Avon Old Farms in Connecticut and played in Hockey East (Leetch at Boston College, Quick at UMass Amherst).  Oh and Thomas went to University of Vermont – also a Hockey East school.  HOCKEY EAST REPRESENT!

Daddy, you won! Can I have some M&Ms?

The game itself had a intensity befitting a potential Stanley Cup cliniching game and there can be no doubt that its defining moment came in the first period when the Devils’ Steve Bernier boarded Rob Scuderi.

Scuderi was left bloodied and bruised.

Bernier felt shame and was ejected, resulting in a five-minute power play for the Kings.

During that five minutes, the captain Dustin Brown, Jeff Carter, and Trevor Lewis each scored goals.  The Kings never looked back.

Brown also added two assists and became just the 2nd American-born captain to raise the Cup.  He managed to accomplish that which the Great One, Wayne Gretzky, could not do in his eight year tenure with the Kings.

Anze Kopitar has poised himself on the edge of NHL super stardom.  He tied for the playoff lead in points (20) and goals (8), and finished a ridiculous +16.  Not only is he the first Slovenian to play in the NHL, but now he’ll be the first ever to have his name engraved on the Cup.

He also is the first ever to wear this in a post-game interview.

All hail King Kopitar!

This team was chockful of talent and size and skill and they peaked at the most perfect time.  Their regular season was inconsistent at best as they struggled to score goals, but something special happened after Darryl Sutter took over the team midseason.

So special in fact, that it earned them the most coveted and respected trophy in all of sports.

We are very much looking forward to the Kings’ summer with the Cup and all the photos, tweets, and stories that will undoubtedly follow.

We want to see Dustin Penner eat some pancakes out of the Cup.

We want to Carter and Richards take the Cup on a sunset stroll on the beach.

But most of all, we want to see the players, and their family, friends, and fans, savor every moment of this incredible accomplishment.

CONGRATS to the 2012 Stanley Cup Champion, Los Angeles Kings!

One Win Away…

11 Jun

So Game 5 didn’t exactly turn out as we hoped, but tonight, the Kings have the chance to close out the series (again) and win their first ever Stanley Cup.

While we don’t like the Devils, we have to give them props for not laying down in front of the purple and black freight train and for pushing the series to a Game 6.

Last week, the Devils were down 3-0 in the series, teetering percariously on the edge, Jonathan Quick poised to send them tumbling into the abyss of the SCF sweep.

No goal for you.

But leave it to Marty Brodeur, the 4o year old future Hall of Fame netminder, to bring the Devils back and for the players like Parise, Salvador, and he of the creeper ‘stach, Henrique, to step up big time.

Have the Devils totally messed with the Kings’ hockey chi?  Will they come from 3-0 down to win their 4th Stanley Cup?

Mike Richards and his heterosexual life partner, Jeff Carter are determined to not make that happen.

Their epic bromance will conquer all.

Most epic of bromances.

If there ever was a time that these two needed to step up, it is tonight.

Time to silence all those hater and critics and to show the Flyers fans what they could have had.

I have confidence in the Kings.  They just need to play the way that they’ve been playing the entire playoffs.  With physicality, skill, strength. But most importantly, to play like one being,  a hockey borg, if you will.

Take a deep breath, boys.  Keep calm and carry on.

Exhale.

Marek + Wysh + Chuck

9 Jun

In case you missed it, I had the privilege of joining Jeff Marek (@JeffMarek) and Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) on their podcast Thursday afternoon.

Go to the 51min mark to hear us chat about hockey, Adam Henrique’s creeper moustache, DPenner’s amazing beard, and boobs.

Hopefully this turns in a regular thing for WUYS.  We love sharing our particular brand of whimsy with the hockey world.

Unfortunately, Pants couldn’t join us this time, but next time…gurrrrrl it is on.

 

Foxy Friday: Conn Smythe Trophy

8 Jun

Any way it shakes out, this is the last Friday of the 2011-2012 NHL season.  We’re almost afraid to choose a Foxy Friday because they keep doing things like scoring OT game-winning goals. (Adam Henrique.)

Not that we’re changing the course of the Stanley Cup Final or anything.

So, who’s left?

We’ve Foxy Friday-ed the heck out of these teams: Brodeur, Parise, Henrique, Richards, Doughty, Quick, Penner, Carter.  We have even featured the Stanley Cup.

This week, we honor another inamimate object – The Conn Smythe Trophy.

Foxy. Shiny.

We love this trophy.  It looks like something my dad’s  FDNY ski team won back in the 70s, when chairlifts had no safety bars and people wore outfits like this.

The trophy is designed to resemble Toronto’s Maple Leaf Gardens (where Mr. Smythe was the owner, GM and coach) and has a “botanically correct Maple Leaf” on top.  I bet that part comes off and one can wear it as a crown. Maybe I’ll have to be the first to try.

Timmeh.

Unlike MVP trophies in the NFL, NBA and MLB (which are awarded to the most valuable player in that last round), the  Professional Hockey Writers’ Association take the entire post-season into consideration when voting for the Conn Smythe winner.

That said, I don’t believe a player has won who did not make it to the Final.  Am I wrong?

The trophy has been awarded 46 times to 40 different players.

  • 15 times to a goaltender
  • 3 of those times it went to the legendary Patrick Roy (who is the only player to win it more than twice)
  • 5 times to a player whose team lost the Stanley Cup Finals
  • 5 times to a player who was not Canadian.

Bleacher Report recently ranked every Conn Smythe winner ever [link].

God, I love Scott Niedermayer.

Only two Americans have won the Conn Smythe – Brian Leetch and last year, Tim Thomas.  Jonathan Quick could be the third (Chuck and Dawn are nodding vigorously and clapping like seals).

The Conn Smythe is presented right before the Stanley Cup, to which the winner often says –  “Thanks so much, Mr. Bettman.  Here hold my purse. I’ve got this other trophy coming….”

Will we see this maple leaf adored bling tomorrow night?

Hahahahaha. [link]

There’s some support for renaming the Conn Smythe Trophy after it’s first-ever winner, Montreal foward Jean Beliveau.  Gretzky’s all for this [link], and he’s won the Smythe twice.

Personally, we don’t care what you call it.  We just care who wins.

Five Alive

7 Jun

Oh, Foxy Friday. You never disappoint.

Well, sometimes you disappoint when you shave your goatee into a mustache that means you’re not allowed within 100 feet of a playground.

But then, you score the goal that keeps your team’s dream alive:

And somehow, magically, in the post-game your ‘stache has is approaching the border between ‘okay’ and ‘OKAY?!’

Our cries of, “WTH, who shaves in the playoffs?” were for nothing.  Shaving in the playoffs is the new black.  Henrique ditches the goatee, scores the GWG.  Clarkson removes his beautiful ruddy beard and gets an assist.  The entire Devils squad will be shorn for Game 5.

As you know, Henrique scored the series-ending double OT goal vs. Florida and the series-ending single OT (boring!) goal vs. New York.  The Calder Trophy voting for Rookie of the Year is only supposed to encompass the regular season – have they already voted?  It’s completely unfair if they haven’t, since neither Nugent-Hopkins or Landeskog reached the post-season.  Still, how can this performance not count?!  There’s no impartial jury out there now.

I felt bad that so many people paid so much money to see their team win at home – I dream of this someday being me.  That was quickly outweighed by my selfish desire for hockey season to last all year.  What else can make us so deliriously happy, gut-wrenchingly sad and seat-shiftingly uncomfortable?

Mike Richards.  Chuck called him a “dark swarthy pirate of love” for this look.  I think he’s starting to resemble an Ewok in the Witness Protection Program.  Pierre, of course, is on a first date.  Watch him do the ‘casual arm-swing’ hoping to brush against Mike.  We know all your tricks, little man!!  He’s going to walk Mike right to his door and hope to be invited in.

ACK.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, back to work for both teams Saturday night.  It’s a chance for the Devils to really make this one interesting, or the Kings to extend their record road-game streak.  Either way, I’m glad to get one more game out of this season.

Again? High five.

Tonight is the Night?

6 Jun

Once, a cat named Lucifer messed with Cinderella.  She chased him off with a broom.  See what I’m saying?

Not pictured: LA Kings

Chuck and I are Red Sox fans, which means leading a playoff series 3-0 is not enough for us.  We know miracles can happen.  (In case you don’t, in ’04 the Yankees were up 3-0 in the ALCS.  The Red Sox won 4 straight, then another 4 to sweep the Cardinals for the World Series.  The screaming, people.  I can’t even describe it.)   The moral of the story is: we don’t count people out.

Tonight, the Kings will try to sweep the Devils to win the first Stanley Cup in franchise history, in front of their home crowd.  This idea gives us crazy butterflies.  Chuck & Dawn are all for the Kings, and I cry every single year when the Cup is presented, no matter who wins.  I just see rainbows and sprinkles and dreams coming true.  It’s like a Lifetime movie.

If the Kings win tonight, it will be the 21st Finals sweep in the modern era (since the NHL went to a best-of-seven format in 1939).  Sweeps happen more often than a series goes to 7 games (16 times).  Only one NHL team has ever come back from 3-0 down in the Final to win the Cup – the 1942 Maple Leafs.

Despite Peggy’s best efforts, the Cup has arrived.

Since 1939, trends in winning the Stanley Cup Final – from NHL.com [link, the formatting is awful]:

•  Teams winning Game One have won the Cup 54 of 69 times (78.3%).

•  Teams winning both Games One and Two have won the Cup 41 of 44 times (93.2%).

•  Teams winning Games One, Two and Three have won the Cup 24 of 25 times (96%).

More sweep fun facts – ESPN.com [link].

15 fun facts about the Kings – USAToday.com [link]

If you’re thinking what we’re thinking, it’s about this.  Or, more accurately, this happening inside a Ke$sha video filmed in a strip-club-on-a-yacht off Huntington Beach where Snoop Dogg drops from a fireworks-shooting helicopter for a rap solo about best friends forever.

I’m just saying that Cup parade/party photos get us through the summer and you know the Kings’ would be epic.  Twitter would melt.  I’d buy stock in pancakes, donuts, liquor and glitter.    Something tells me that Patrick Elias won’t be dancing shirtless on a table a la Tyler Seguin (or even clothed like Patrick Sharp) but we think TBG Drew Doughty might.

(SIDE NOTE: If you Google “Tyler Seguin dance shirtless,” the #5 photo result is Chuck & Tyler and #12 is me & Chuck.  You guys search that term and find our site A LOT, pervs.)

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.  Things are far from over with 60 minutes on the clock and a goalie who has won 3 Stanley Cups – that’s every Cup the Devils have ever won, on Brodeur’s shoulders.  So, down but not out?  Will the Devils slow the Kings 15-2 playoff run and rain on their parade?  If they get one, they head back to NJ for Game Five on Saturday night.  The Kings have won 10 straight road games… but you have to start somewhere.

Scars & Cars

6 Jun

I’m not much of one for cars, especially since a certain defenseman’s Lamborghini just makes me laugh.  But scars?  For bikini season, we thought we’d bring back this gem MDZ is sporting:

“When Evgeni Malkin cut me with a skate I felt lucky to have ribs. I got 50 stitches, no staples. I’ve had to work hard on balancing my lats ever since. But I have to say, it’s a great icebreaker, especially at the beach. Like they say chicks dig scars.” – New York Rangers’ Michael Del Zotto [video – no visible blood]

What say you – do chicks dig scars?

It goes with this face.