Intern Desk: Field Report

24 Aug

Intern Jeff Skinner here, reporting from the field.  Is there some kind of dictionary for girls?  I cannot understand a word said in the WUYS office since that Kris Letang video.  It’s like an Justin Bieber concert!  Sure, he makes carrying Pants’ purse look waaaaaaay too easy but I am an athlete too.  And I’ve been getting pretty buff this summer.

The BioSteel Sports Camp is on now, and since workout videos are all the rage I’m pretty happy with this one.  You don’t see Biz doing any lifts, do you?  Seguin’s not pumping any iron in these clips!

Of course they film Stamkos doing plate hauls while I’m doing dead lifts – dead lifts look so stupid!  Not that you would notice, because Gator fainted and had to be revived in time for the earthquake drill.

The BioSteel Camp is tough – and I can concentrate now that my phone battery melted.  I need an external hard drive to process all the texts I got:

Chuck: Incoherent punctuation-riddled messages about Tyler Seguin checking himself out in every reflective surface

Gator: Streaming video from Legally Blonde so I can cut Stammer’s hair, or at least get him to Bend & Snap

PantsWhy is no one paying attention to James Neal?!  Nealmobile! Followed by the word HONK about two hundred thousand times.

It’ll be so easy for me to change the water cooler bottle this season – the WUYS girls are going to love it.  Now you can watch the video if you promise to speak English again and stop squealing.  And pay my cell phone bill.

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9 Responses to “Intern Desk: Field Report”

  1. carter August 24, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    I’m pretty sure the unrestrained power of Jeff Skinner’s booty pop changed the earth’s tilt on its axis or something. His dead lifts are the reason for the earthquake yesterday?

  2. Alexrea August 24, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    I squeaked, I think it might have been in French.

  3. raedanda August 24, 2011 at 10:48 am #

    Thank you. That is all.

  4. Jess August 24, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    When Biosteele tweeted this yesterday, I started watching it on the bus thinking, as it is likely edited by men for men, it would not be pornographic. But then the first 20 seconds were Tyler Seguin wearing the SH*T out of a suit and I simultaneously fainted, squealed and had a bout of fangirl Tourettes (“fitfitfitfitsofitsososofithhhnnnggghhhh”), and then proceeded to flag this video “for private times only”.

    Also – Intern Jeff Skinner’s boy-face-man-body causes me to be deeply conflicted. Do I want to babysit him or do I want to cougar-pounce all over that? Am I the only one? I am? Okay, forget I said anything. I’ll just be over here, weeping fangirl tears.

    • Deanna August 24, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

      I so agree with your first paragraph! Seguin was rocking that suit

  5. Lindsay August 24, 2011 at 12:18 pm #

    This is gonna make me giggle all day long.
    I Tweeted it and I’ll say it again: Best. Post. Ever.

  6. Chuck August 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    Next season with Jeffy in the office is going to be so much fun…

  7. Cassy August 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm #

    Jeff – ask me anytime and I’ll translate for you. I’ll even bake you low sugar cookies and not tell Eric. You must also keep the watchamacalit bar drawer fully stocked at all times. Also the Starbucks Via iced/ regular coffee. That is all.

    Ps pls get Nealmobile to strip to the waist would ya? Thankyou please.

    • Pants August 26, 2011 at 11:06 am #

      :: Dear God in Heaven. ::

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