Tag Archives: Brendan Shanahan

Chewbacca and the Ewoks Sent Packing

8 May

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

For those of you keeping count, last night the Jawas sent Chewie and the Ewoks packing.

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

The Jawas also found out from Palpatine, Lord of the Sith and Emperor of the Galactic empire, they will more than likely be staying in the desert. Details of the contract are still under wraps but my sources tell me it includes the souls of the all the incoming new players first-born girls (because ya know, they need the boys for future hockey players) and all the retirees in a 250 mile area. That should keep Lord Vader fed for a few more years.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

That’s good news for Phoenix!

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

Mean Girls Club 2.0

23 Apr

After this weekend, the heat intensified over how Brendan Shanahan decides suspensions and disciplinary action. But for us women, there’s no secret. After the Campbell empire of nepotism and favoritism crumbled there was hope for a clean start. But after almost a year in the position it looks like The Plastics are back with 2.0 edition.

Here is Shanahan and Bettman at a press conference discussing the recent Torres suspension:

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1384659

This is what it must be like behind closed doors when they are deciding on disciplinary action. “Well Brendan, you have the physique of a 20 year old Zack Parise shooting down the cold freshly zambonied ice on a winter classic day with a crazed Shea Weber chasing you trying to smash you head into the boards.”

shanahan simply calls it in

“Oh it’s Shea Weber? He’s popular and cute, did he hurt any one? Not really? Oh shiny objects …What were we talking about again? How manly I am? Yes. I am pretty Bad Ass. Fine him. Next. Make-up! Make sure I’m not shiny like that last video. And my hair – PLEASE!”

ask henrik if this was worth $2,500 bowl full of crazy

“Who? Bits? P-iddy? My kids love him. I went to his White party in the Hampton’s. Really – Bitzs – Oh. don’t care. West coast? SRSLY. Two games and no video and just copy what ever I said last time this happened. Rinse-n-repeat.”

My point is, discipline should be like justice, blind, fair and across the board. A hit should be judged on its own. Not if someone is hurt, not if someone is a popular or famous player, but as a stand alone on its own merits – as it were. This is simply not happening. I realize people are human but come on.

And don’t use Matt Cooke is the poster boy for this system – it was the Penguins who sat him down and said it’s your job or you’re out. That was the reason he change, NOT Shanahan or the new system.

Nobody Puts Brendan Shanahan in the Garbage!

20 Jan

If you aren’t watching “Up All Night’ on NBC, you should be.

First off, it is hilarious.

Secondly, Christina Applegate & Maya Rudolph.  I love them.

Thirdly (and most importantly), Will Arnett plays a retired hockey player turned lawyer turned stay at home DILF.

And honestly how you can you not like a show that has scenes like this?

She straight up shanabanned Shanahan!

Clearly, you can see why this is one of my favorite shows on TV right now.

You can watch episodes on Hulu.   (Personal faves are “Week Off”, “New Car”, and “Birth”)

WUYS Morning News

17 Nov

Mike Green didn’t make the trip to Winnipeg with the Caps, but he did take his sprained ankle to the Kid Rock show in DC last night.  He wore his only favorite sweater (seriously, he wears this more than Toews wears that suit) and that hat that makes me want to throw snowballs.  Money was raised for Mike’s So Kids Can charity.  Gator is from the D and she wanted to go, but instead we worked, A.K.A. watched Breaking Dawn, ate snacks and yelled back at the screen.  Good times all around.

At least Kid Rock looks excited.

Chicago beat Vancouver (ooh, say it again!) 5-2 with a couple of wacky bouncers.  Kaner, Hossa, Montador and Toews all had 2-point games.  And for anyone who didn’t cringe when we made Patrick Kane a Foxy Friday, he’s got a new One Goal commercial [link].

Brendan starched another shirt and Shanabanned Blues’ Chris Stewart three games for boarding Wings’ Niklas Kronwall.  This one’s ugly.

NHL.com used my favorite phrase as a headline.  Sadly it’s about Ilya Kovalchuk.  I watched this hoping actual pants would fall, but alas there is only a very pretty goal.

The Islanders introduced their third jerseys, which are pretty standard.  They’re worlds better than this yellow mess Nashville adopted, but no amount of fashion changes the fact you are still the Islanders (sorry).

The red-hot Bruins put their 6 game win streak on the line tonight vs. Blue Jackets.  Seguin’s on fire (Chuck loves) and leads the NHL in plus/minus rating with +15.  (Don’t mind EStaal down at the bottom with -18.)  Speaking of bottom of the barrel, Columbus is 3-13-1 with only 7 points on the season.  Now that I’ve said that, they’ll probably win.

Team Jacob

The Penguins are in Tampa Bay tonight and Sid will not play.  Errrrbody calm down (obviously I mean me).  Disco Dan would not comment on Saturday’s game – could Sid return?  I want him back this instant, but am also willing to await a triumphant debut in DC on 12/1 when I’m getting booed for wearing my 87 at Verizon Center.  It would be like a romantic comedy: Sid taking the ice, me dodging flying food, then Pens winning.  I can see it now.

James Neal will of course play tonight, and he’s got a 7-game point streak going (ties longest of his career).  JStaal has three goals in two games.  Stamkos and Neal are tied will 11 goals, and I like to think this means bromance rivalry.

Now boys, don't fight.

Only 8 hours 10 minutes till game time.

Shanabanned: Patrick Kaleta

4 Nov

4 games for headbutting Jakub Voracek.

Yup, that one’s pretty obvious.

PS: How many white shirts do you think Brendan has?  Will he ever go nuts and wear a blue one?

Shanabanned: Andy Sutton

1 Nov

5 games for this hit on Gabriel Landeskog.

Mr. Shanahan does not like it when you mess with our Foxy Friday honorees.

Not. One. Bit.

Click [here] for Shanabanned’s ruling. 

 

Mind Over Brain Matter

24 Feb

So to quote many a hockey player and coach, hockey is 90% mental and 10% physical. OK – I’ll buy that for a hot second since it was regurgitated out of Kris Letang’s luscious mouth recently. (I’m paraphrasing him more intelligently.) Where I am I going with this? Is it me or are many teams suffering A LOT of injuries lately? I was perusing the IR HOT LIST for the Caps and noticed BAMM-SCOOBY DOO – there are a lot of players out. I was watching the Freeway Face-off last night (because my beautiful double D TBG was playing) and wondering where Frankenface was AKA Getzlaf. Out. Injured. I’m not going to list all the major playas who are out or have been out because if you’re a fan, you already know the who’s who of Boo-boo ville.

on the Caps most wanted now?

However, I do have a great quote from BB of the Caps about Backstrom from his EPIC showdown hair on hair scrap with Letang on Monday. See, Nicky B has not missed a game in his entire NHL career which would be 307 games! Impressed? I knew you would be. And even though the Hot Mop out of Pit fractured the Hot Mop from Sweden’s thumb, Nicky B. is still planning on playing tomorrow because according to BB, “I’m saying he’s playing tomorrow. He’s fine. He’s got a sore ouchie that’s not preventing him from playing. He’s a tough kid.”

mikey may be kissing nickys boo-boo and more if he misses a game

So all the hot hair is not just covering access to brain matter or keeping their heads warm, it evidently is covering a 90% mental desire to play hockey – I was never any good at math – whatever. Too bad all that hockey gear covers like 100% of all that hockey body hotness! 😉 If only we could get them to play the All Star Game naked! Someone get me Brendan Shanahan on the phone NOW! I have a brilliant idea for next year!