The NHL Awards Nearly Kill Us

23 Jun

I alternate between muting and leaving the room when I’m uncomfortable with what’s on TV.  So I watched the NHL Awards in fits and starts and really tried to only listen when a player was talking.

The show was fairly agonizing, featuring some of the flattest jokes possible.  I generally think Jay Mohr’s pretty funny but the obnoxious thing is a bit much for a whole show.  Why doesn’t Cabbie on the Streets host this thing?

Like a boss.

Worse were the guest stars, most of whom stretch the definition of star to its limit.  A kid from The Wizards of Waverly Place? Awesome that he’s a Kings fan and probably fangirlling inside over Luc Robataille, but presenting?  Of course he was worlds better than the Real Housewives.  I thought I was having a stroke when they were introduced, because surely that cannot have happened.  Then Far East Movement performed.  PICK A DEMOGRAPHIC.  TEACH IT HOW TO PRONOUNCE YOUR WINNERS.  Or let Jon Hamm do them all.

Take us with you!

Okay, end rant.  The players, as usual, were adorkable enough to heal all wounds.  Jeff Skinner’s stuttering acceptance speech made me squee.  St. Louis for the Lady Byng was fantastic – someone get this guy an advert deal with Blackberry!  The constant cuts to Toews looks pissy, Bobby Ryan’s mom all teary, Kesler’s hair… man, I love hockey.

If we were in charge, the NHL Awards should we be better.  Like a bachelor auction or a live action SCORE! The Hockey Musical.  And we’d get picked up by this bus… and miss the whole show.

This isn't where I parked my car!

Now, let’s party.  We don’t know where this bus is going and I promise, we don’t care.  Back in October!

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One Response to “The NHL Awards Nearly Kill Us”

  1. keyena June 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm #

    steven get a haircute plzzzzz!

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