Tag Archives: scott hartnell

Best of Twitter

4 Jun

We have to make a whole category for this if we’re going to get through the off-season.  Can someone remind me what we did in the summer before Twitter?  How did we ever know:

Who makes double entendres with random-yet-endearing capitalization?

What Ebs dreams of when he looks in the mirror?

Who needs you to bring them a beer?

Who will buy you popcorn at the movies?

Who thinks college is way different than it really is?

But gets everything else so right?

With all this, a tan, and the potential of a Mike Richards/Jeff Carter Stanley Cup party to contemplate, I think we might get to September after all.

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This Friday Night…

30 Mar

Last night was not good for anyone.

Sidney took a puck to the face.  I’ve said “not the face!” many times, but never at such volume.  Sid bled everywhere and then did what hockey players do best, let it stop and kept playing.  Well, it didn’t totally stop.

He will play tonight against Buffalo, a game the Caps need the Pens to win.  Wait, what was that?  The reluctant sound of DC fans rooting for Pittsburgh?  Be still my beating heart.

We could say the Pens need the win also – Philly’s only two points back and there’s no reason to lose home ice advantage for the first round.  Sid and Co still have two games vs. the Flyers and one vs. NYR, so any game played against someone else is a bonus where you should grab all the points you can.

In the Battle of the Blog, the Capitals beat the Bruins last night 3-2 in another shitty overtime victory that I’ll take, but don’t like.  I don’t like what it says for when we meet teams that can play sixty.  Any team can struggle any night, but the Caps do it every night.

This hit by Jason Chimera on Adam McQuaid was the talk of the game.  Chimera got tossed for charging, but today the NHL has said no disciplinary hearing will be held.  Can Shanahan do videos for hits that are NOT suspended?  It would explain a lot more to me.

Chuck is not happy about that.  What would cheer her up?  How about Nicky B, possibly back in the line-up Saturday vs. Montreal.  That’s right – MONTREAL. RENE BOURQUE.  Come and get it, punk, we’ll be in section four-oh-something with our elbows up.

Also close to coming back, Jonny Toews.  Imagine how cranky he is not being able to play?  He’s probably organized every fork in his kitchen by how far apart the times are.  With a protractor.  The Hawks have won 7-of-10, but Tazer in the playoffs is a whole new kind of hot damn,

Colorado and Calgary have must-win games tonight… against each other.  WELP.  No guarantee a win will carry the victor into a playoff spot but it’s hard to see the loser of this one hanging on much longer.

Everyone is excited about EA Sports allowing, for the first time ever, a popular vote to decide the NHL13 cover boy.  Get the interns on this one!  Cast your vote(s) at www.NHL.com/CoverVote, or let the players woo you to their sides. Ton of Twitter chirping = our dream.  My favorite:

Uh, Team Claude.

It also looks like the Art Ross and Rocket Richard trophy races are drawing to a close, according to my master plans.

Geno can go till June, thank you very much.  Stammer, well, it wasn’t to be this year.  But Steven keeps on scoring.  He has five goals in his last five games – 55 total, for a career high and Lightning team record.  With five games left, could Stamkos get to 60?  I say YES.  I keep yelling it at the TV.  I keep…

So here’s to tonight, as we near the end of the season, and a lot of hockey fans get ready to say goodbye to their favorite teams.  If you’re looking for someone to back in the playoffs, allow us to make a few suggestions.

Starry-Eyed

31 Jan

When Mr. Pants and I boarded our flight in Houston on Saturday, I had NO idea there would be individual TVs on the plane.  Then I saw the All-Star Game Skills Competition was on.  I may have screamed.  One swipe of the AMEX later, I was sitting an inch from the screen with a huge smile on my face.

Mr. Pants: “What are you so happy about?”

Obviously he doesn’t share my pain in missing a week of hockey and the ASG Draft, or as we prefer to think of it, The WUYS Bachelor Auction.  I’m sure it was great.  And I saw they put Letang in the front row because even he can only get away with tripping once.

The Elimination Shootout started as we reached cruising altitude.  Stamkos stepped up… and the pilot came on the PA talking about miles programs and tail winds and how, if you looked out the right side, you could see a chicken in Mississippi riding a bicycle.  He talked the ENTIRE TIME!   We almost had an incident with Homeland Security.  Plus the seatbelt sign was on forever and I really had to pee.

During the post-win interview, I lost it and said, “Stop touching him, Pierre!” really loud.  Unless Pierre has scissors, though it doesn’t look like he’d know how to cut hair.

Hands off the merchandise, Troll.

Also, it’s not easy to watch Nealmobile do Accuracy Shooting when it’s illegal for me to scream, run around or throw things.  As I watch back through the coverage, the ASG never fails to be a highlight of the season.  It brainwashes me into a maniac who thinks things like:

Red heads in pink shirts?  Sure, why not!  Too bad no one could straighten it out before shooting.  Unless Giroux’s going to tear it off, it shouldn’t be stretched like that.  My inner publicist cringes.  (Note: That plaid jacket still needs to go. Along with Neal’s. Were they on sale in Ontario at some point?)

Carey Price is funny.  And charming.  I didn’t think this could get worse.

Scott Hartnell + the Sedins = my nightmare.  Except it’s fantastic.

And some things’s don’t surprise.  Henrik Lundqvist puts everyone to shame, in every category.

If you didn’t think Patrick Kane would steal the show then you must be new around here.

My tights are underneath.

As always, the awkward prom photos.  Everyone is cringing about talking to fathers and having to

See you at the prom party, Segs.

Logan can pick us up in his new car.

 What did you guys think?  No Crosby, Toews, Green, Backstrom, zero Staals.  Still everything you hoped for?  And share your favorite bits, because I probably missed them!

Smell Ya Later

5 Jan

(Sorry, I tried not to make a Fresh Prince reference. My hands would not obey.)

The last time the Blackhawks played in Philly…

And they’ve been gearing up for their return:

Toews also had a smile on his face when asked about going back to Philly for the first time. Turns out he purchased replays of Game 5 and Game 6 of that series on iTunes and had a group of current Hawks watching it with him during a flight this season.

“There were a bunch of guys huddled around the seat watching on the plane, and even watching those last two games … you know the outcome ultimately, but it still makes you nervous to watch it a little bit,” the 23-year old Hawks captain said. “A lot of those cool feelings come rushing back and everything from the celebration on the ice and everything in the locker room, too. It’d be cool to think about that again.” [NHL.com]

Tazer’s still rocking those stitches in his lip.   It’s one time we were all, “NOT THE FACE!” the decided that we don’t really mind.

Gingeroux is still near the top of the NHL points card (46, one of the Sedinbots has 48).  Jonathan is tied for 2nd in goals scored (22, but Stammer’s opening up race with 27).  Dan Carcillo is out against his former team, which really sucks because he & Hartnell could go 12 rounds over who I hate more.

The Hawks and Flyers each have 52 points (Flyers have two games in hand) and lost their last match-ups.  Let’s see who wants to start a winning streak tonight.

Hats Off – Hockey Hair

13 Oct

Mike!  I told you the fight was plenty, and the sweaty Ovi workout shirt you stole for Dawn.  Please stop lavishing me with gifts for our joint birthday celebration.  Good thing it’s over, I’m not sure what else you might do.

Caps TV did a totally boring Mike Green birthday segment in which Mike showed off this hair.  No casual helmet toss or Fighting Irish stance – this is gel, mousse and possibly a blow dryer.  Or a protractor.  (FYI: I had to straight up Google “math tool half circle” to remember what that was called.)

Non-hockey career? Architect.

See the full action in the video.

This brings us to a very valid old time hockey topic: Hockey Hair.  Chuck and I have long rejoiced in the glory of hockey hair, most specifically when it comes to Mike Modano.  He never could close his mouth all the way and his wife dated a Backstreet Boy, but his hair is glorious.

Shampoo commercial.

The rule of Hockey Hair is best summed up by Austin Powers: “Feed my fish.  Not too much!” Just enough to show from under your helmet, not enough to add extra cranial padding.  And it’s not necessarily a mullet – in fact, with Intergalactic Mullet Champion Barry Melrose hanging around, it’s best not to even try.  Unless you’re Jaromir Jagr, who once fled Pittsburgh fans at the mall by ducking into a store, buying a dress and coming out costumed as the ugliest woman alive.  Not a joke.  Also Patrick Kane, who would have gotten this as a fraternity bet even if he didn’t play hockey.  That or shave off his eyebrows.

Buzz cut, steps and BANGS. That shizz has BANGS.

A few guys sport the full ‘fro – I can talk because my hair looks like this.  But I’m a girl.  At least I would have have the sense to ponytail that nonsense before putting on a helmet.  Not to mention – aren’t you sweating?  My hair is like a sweater on my head and gets everywhere – I can barely eat without a hair tie.

Guess the hockey players.

There is a place for this – on unattractive guys.  Comedy hair, if you will.  It works or it doesn’t, but we will always remember you.  Then there are some guys who rock it right – and totally rock without it – for whom hockey hair is the crowning glory on their total package of awesome.

Staal (beardfail), Letang (beardwin, FML)... and Forsberg, the king.

Chuck and Dawn – who did I miss?  Anyone whose locks you can’t live without?  Where is the evolution of hockey hair leading?  We could go bald-is-sexy like Getzlaf, or curl & dye like Henrik Lundqvist… if there aren’t any variations left on Mike’s mohawk.

Mike Green, 2011