Tag Archives: Ottawa Senators

Principal’s Office

15 Apr

It’s getting hot in here, and Brendan Shanahan’s phone was ringing off the hook yesterday.  Three players face disciplinary hearings for offenses committed during Saturday’s run of show…

1. Carl Hagelin

Former Foxy Friday and Ryan Gosling stun- double Carl Hagelin is not known for throwing elbows and getting dirrrty.  But the playoffs make people do crazy things.  He took out Daniel Alfredsson with a very high hit yesterday.

Alfredsson, the Sens’ captain, did not return to the game.  There’s been no update on Alfredsson’s status.  Hagelin served a five minute major and will be sentenced today.  Tortorella said “wah!” but that’s what he always says.

2. Matt Carkner

This guy is off his anger-management meds.  Boyle had a goal in game 1 and got into it with Karlsson to the tune of matching roughing minors.  It merits the clean check Carkner throws to start this, and probably a fight.  I understand protecting your most valuable asset.  But Carkner doesn’t square off, he jumps Boyle and drags him face-down across the ice under the dogpile.

Carkner got five for fighting, two for instigating and ejected.  Brandon Dubinsky was the third man into the fight and also got himself a game misconduct.  He took his frustration out on the Gatorade cooler.

This series is officially ugly.  I think Shanahan will suspend Hagelin for one game, especially if Alfie can’t play tomorrow.  The hit was directly to the head and otherwise you open it up to chaos.  If Carkner went after Boyle for a play that didn’t result in Karlsson being injured, what will they do to the guy who knocked out their captain?  Hagelin is not Boyle – he may not live to tell the tale.

Carkner definitely gets suspended here.  Fight a guy clean to protect your teammates, that’s hockey.  This is cowardice and can’t be allowed to stand.

3. Andrew Shaw

Goalies are like virgins whose fathers are right inside the front door with a shotgun – don’t touch them, it’s not worth it.  Chicago’s Andrew Shaw collided with Phoenix netminder Mike Smith last night, helmet-to-helmet. Smith went down hard and stayed there for a long time.

Shaw got a five minute charging major, on which the Coyotes scored to take the lead.  He was ejected as well.  Smith eventually got right and stayed in the game… what?  He must have passed whatever on-ice tests are administered immediately following a hit to the head, but this looked like a mandatory trip to the quiet room.  I think a five + game should suffice as Smith wasn’t injured on the play.  The hearing is tomorrow.

What do you think?  More importantly, if they don’t get what the opposition feels they “deserve,” what happens in game three?

Kilroy Was Here

12 Apr

There is no accounting for taste in our household. Traitors abound. Mr. Cherrie is a hard-core Buffalo fan.

 But when I went to consult my bookie, I mean my oracle- the great swami Osiris Jones, man about town and counselor at law, when he’s not picking NHL play-off games for cat treats, much to my horror this is what I found!

Whut can I saz, I heart king henry

When I told him there’d be no more treats for this treacherous betrayal –

But i'm no foo eder

His brothers are much smarter and helped with the sign making for tomorrows big trek across the border. With Doughty getting so much ice time I am sure to get my money’s worth so look for this sign in the sea of blue and green: 

yes mom, I am 12 years old ...and I can make a sign like one too!

I’m hoping to get some exclusive shots for the blog if Mr. Gates doesn’t make me stay after school for extra credit. I am also hoping for another game like last night!

Wow - for me? Awesome .... A hatrick for you then!

 But what I really wanted to know was – who would end up in the Stanley Cup finals? So Swami Osiris Jones drug under the couch cushions, licked his butt a few times and gave me two answers – you decide from reading my posts which one is real and which one is for more cat treats … 

Swami Jones has spoken ... and it shall come to pass that these two hot horses will play each other in the finals ...

or this: 

Pst ...I hear Dawn's picked us for the finals ...
Of course she did, I'm reliable and I always come through even though she's saying it's her 'cat' and she hates Pittsburgh

Because It’s The Cup Campaign

10 Apr

Dawn, Ovi - sorry for the bad season. I do better in play-offs. I promise. BOOM! hahahahahahah

So when this campaign started the feedback was terrible so they adjusted it STAT because it was like the MasterCard ad, the Hockey Discover Card and “I Just Want My Pants Back” had a drunken three way, someone got pregnant and no one wanted to take responsibility for the monster that came of it.

Hockey fans will tell you straight up when something stinks.

I get TPTB wanted to include the fans but thank god we bascially got a bastard child of HISTORY WILL BE MADE! I don’t want to see faux Hollywood replicas of what they think we are doing in our homes/bars/favorites hockey watching spots. Trust me – WE KNOW. And it wasn’t what they were showing us.

I want to see Ovi telling me what he’s GOING to do in the play-offs.

Dear NHL - stilling waiting for Letang's solo "Because of the Cup" ad. Statistically speaking - Pens can win without St. Sid but not with out #58. Just sayin'

I want to see Kris Letang brush his sexy hair out of his face and smile at me as he skates at the screen.

I want to see Erik Karlsson and his glorious mullet, all awkward and sh&t.

Dear little man, may you win the Norris if Kris Letang (a complete dark horse but I wish would win) doesn't.

 Hell, I’d even take Jagr saluting me! (not quite but see below for you hard core philly fans – bless you all!)

You've grown on me like a fungus but you make me laugh - which is hard to do!

It isn’t quite that but it will do for now. So for your viewing pleasure if you haven’t seen these yet:

Honorable Mentions That Don’t Get Mentions

21 Mar

He is only going to get better - so watch out ya'all

Erik Karlsson is on fire and not mentioned – AT ALL – here. I have been loving him for some time now that the Captials season has been in the crapper with Dale Hunter Hockey. It gave me a chance to watch some other teams I may not have noticed.

And he's like two years old so he's not even gotten started on his awesomeness

And he's like two years old so he's not even gotten started on his awesomeness

 Ottawa was not supposed to do anything this season once the owner had a fire sale on talent but look at those scrappy dudes? Talk about an offensive/defensive man? And Alfredsson’s kids adore him!

This isn't his only secret weapon - SPEED is his other one!

This isn't his only secret weapon - SPEED is his other one!

The numbers he is putting up this season are amazing so here is some love Erik. You keep rockin’ it my little Swedish bad boy. I love to watch you score!

And on the other coast, I’ve noticed Alex Edler, from the Vancouver Canucks.

I get to play with the Sedin-bots!

I get to play with the Sedin-bots!

With all the talent on that team, I know one might get over looked especially when you have Ryan Kesler taking naked photos. But I consider him the Kris Letang of the West Coast, hot, hard-working but not an attention seeker. He’s a reliable work horse but he also attended the All-Star game.

Every girl loves a sharp dressed defensemen

Every girl loves a sharp dressed defensemen

So just wanted to point out some other hockey players out there and give out some pre-Play-Off-season love because as I stated last year, if your favorite team doesn’t make it, you’ll have to find someone else to cheer for, so ladies, start your choices ….

There is all sorts of right going on in this photo I don't know where to start

There is all sorts of right going on in this photo, I don't even know where to start

Oh No, Not The Face!

28 Nov

So of all the hockey channels I do get, I don’t get the NHL. I KNOW! So when the CBC switched over to the second coming of St. Sid and the Penns at 4:38 against Ottawa, I told Mr. Cherrie to get his half rack out because we have a new drinking game. Every time some one mentions Sidney Crosby, you have to drink. You should try it, it’s AWESOME! And since it was his return to Canada, I was bummed that we only got to see that last 4:38 – OR SO I THOUGHT!

Because about another 2 minutes in, Max Pacioretty’s smacked my beautiful Kris Letang in the face and all time stood still. It was just like in the movies, all three of my cats scattered in slow motion, I flew up from the floor, defying gravity, a silent scream let loose at decibel levels heard only by crows, cats and dogs escaped my lips, Mr. Cherrie’s beer bottle cracked, and there was blood everywhere on our 36″ TV screen. “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not his beautiful face. Not the nose!” I gasped in complete horror. Not that perfect, beautiful nose.

But the hockey gods would have it that way. Letang would flounder on the ice in a pool of blood. But he wasn’t done. Because he is just that perfect. I paced back and forth waiting for those idiots to give an update but evidently St. Sid is more important than an update on Letang’s perfect, beautiful face because he returned, unannounced in OT to score the winning goal. That is, after a trainer stuck a pin in it and sent him back out. OUCH!

Yes, you heard me, THE WINNING GOAL. Letang, with a broken nose, comes back and scores the game winner in OT.

But he did mention that he will make sure it gets back to perfect because he wants to model after his hockey career. A man has to have his priorities.

Something’s ‘Fishy’ About This Trade.

10 Feb

going to Nashville kids!

Mike Fisher was traded from Ottawa to Nashville today! Did you think that’s strange since he’s married to Carrie-Fisher (NOT PRINCESS LEIA)-UNDERWOOD of American Idol fame? She of many many Grammy’s fame and CWA fame and basically all-around cutie-patutie-talent-pie.

totes adorable together

Not that she didn’t land herself a hot hunk of hockey man meat. Jealously all-around please. When they married and she initially moved to Ottawa without batting one of those gorgeous eye lashes, I told Mr. Cherrie which surprised him, “I’d have moved to the arctic circle and live in a tent if that was what was keeping me warm at night.” But does Mike Fisher get tired of these kind of head lines from the Tennessean: “PREDATORS ACQUIRE CARRIE FISHER’S HUSBAND?” This will be his home newspaper. Will he be the Rodney Dangerfield of Nashville now? Will he care since he goes home to Carrie Underwood?

mike fisher of nashville?

So when Hilary Duff found out about the trade this morning, not wanting to be upstaged, she immediately told Mike to buy the Penguins and move them to Beverly Hills. She told him that when these details are finalized, they will be the Beverly Hills Penguins and their colors will be bubble gum pink with bedazzled sparkles and the mascot’s name will be Balthazar-Cadet-8-track the III. When Mike tried to explain that LA already had a hockey team, Hilary stared blankly at him. It was the first time in the marriage she was speechless. Mike had his moment of zen.

Balthazar-Cadet-8-Track the III

Mikey Monday!

17 Jan


rock out with your hawk out!

So I got left alone in the WUYS offices today while Pants and Chuck run amuck on the East Coast! I got left with cold coffee, stale do-nots and a post-it note from Pants saying “MM please”. I am assuming that means I’m left with Mikey Monday. God knows he didn’t do anything last night in the game to scream about except get plastered against the glass from Nick Foligno.

So I’ve spent the last hour watching paint dry and picking my toe nails but then I found this suspicious little nugget on youtube and if I didn’t know any better, I swear it sounds like Pants and Chuck disguising their voices. Note the odd change in pitch? And you can’t see their faces. They are certainly stalkers. They are both on the East coast right now. And they are congratulating him on his win LAST NIGHT. hum…. I don’t think it takes Sherlock Holmes to figure this one out. But one of you needs to shave your legs. I’m just saying!