Tag Archives: Joe Thornton

Fins to the Left!

2 May

I saved this photo back in March hoping someday I would get to use it.  San Jose has a 2-0 lead on the Red Wings and I think now is the time for inspiration.  For destruction.  I saw a guy on the Metro in a Wings shirt yesterday and I wished for an octopus to throw at him.  Gator’s from Detroit, she wanted to hug him instead.  There’s no hugging in hockey unless they’re FREE HUGS from WUYS-approved bromances.

San Jose won the first game 2-1 in OT and the second 2-1 in regulation.  Everyone’s got two assists: Rookie of My Life Logan Couture, Foxy Friday Ryan(e) Clow(e) and ASG prank mastermind Danny Boyle.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself.  These games are all nail-biters and no one makes me more nervous than Detroit.  This is just to keep the boys going.  Jumbo Joe is out to remind Chuck that back in ’97 she was swooning over his blond curls and Dunkin’ Donuts commercials.  He wants her to Feel the Teal.  (Okay sorry, that’s a terrible slogan.)

If there’s anyone we’d like to see go down it’s Detroit.  If there’s anyone who will make us eat our words and send their over-40s to shut us up, it’s Detroit.  So play on – Game 3 Wed at 5 PM PT.

Adopt-A-Cause.

28 Apr

I feel your pain.

I really do. I was there last year. My caps went out in the first round. This was me last year. But I lived through it. And you will too.

I'm serious. Wipe the F*** chocolate off your face and get up! YES - YOU!

You are better than this and your men need you. Maybe not your team but there are others out there in the trenches fighting, that need adopting temporarily at least until the end of the season. And this is YOUR SPORT. This is Hockey and a drought is coming – need I remind you? SUMMER … NO HOCKEY? At all? So pull yourself together, go back through the blog and pick a team, a man, SOMEONE, adopt-a-man, adopt-a-cause – put a stamp on it and make it YOURS and work it sister. Because come June, we are all going to look like the above so no getting a jump on things now!

Five reasons you should ADOPT-A MAN-CAUSE-ANYTHING-RIGHT-NOW-FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-HOCKEY:

1. What else do you have going on? I mean really? Seriously. Tell us. Because we would know. NOTHING. Huh. So? what are you waiting for? If you need suggestions. We have some.

2. There are some very ELIGIBLE men available for ADOPTION. Shea Weber. Mike Fisher. The Sedin Twins. No, I am not joking here. They have an awesome sense of humor and mad skills. Joe Thornton. Patrick Marleau. Oh god did I just write that? Tim Thomas. Henrik Zetterberg. Mike Modano. Brian Boucher. Milan Lucic. Andrej Meszaros. Martin St. Louis. Steven Stamkos. Mike Green. See, I’m not even asking you to support you-know- who because I know you will from the closet and that’s OK!

how could you not support this?

3. THERE IS NO CRYING IN HOCKEY. EVER. Except if you’re Sean Avery and really, do you want to join that club? Screaming, breaking things, punching objects and being sad pandas, OK. We except that.

we'll even give you a cyber-hug.

4. If you ‘accidentally run into’ and by ‘accidentally’ I mean ‘accidentally on purpose stalking them’ –  say, Kris Letang or MAX TALBOT or Jonathan Toews, do you really want a badunkadunk butt or muffin top (even though that’s the best part of the muffin!) from all the chocolate, bon bons and cupcakes you ate? Wouldn’t you want to be in your fabulous best shape EVER?!

well hello there, come here often? wanna see MY stanley cups?

5. IT’S HOCKEY. YOU LOVE IT. WE LOVE IT. IT’S NOT OVER – YET. YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER. WE BELIEVE.

So let's kiss, make up and move on!

And lastly, whether we all like it or not, as Sean Connery said in HIGHLANDER, “There can be only one.”

my what fancy wear and BTW - pants LOVES your hat!

Shark Attack!

22 Apr

but i'm not a crier.

After last night’s devastation I am at a loss – so are the Kings – 3 to be precise. The Kings have to travel back to the shark tank and try to win one or go home. Dany Heatly seems to be up to some old tricks tripping Martinez which could have caused a serious injury and Jumbo Joe had enough time to toss kisses to Sharks Fans – Chuck! Chuck! Where are you?

Here is a post-game interview with Ryane Clowe – no wonder he keeps scoring – boy is CRAZY!

As for me, you play as a team, you lose as a team. Pull it together boys, or I’ll be eating Fatburgers and drinking Diet Cokes watching the Caps play for the Stanley Cup on Drew’s lap. Which, come to think of it, isn’t all the unappealing! 😉

after game day loss hang-over - i'm taking a bubble bath

One Year Mark: Golden Goal

28 Feb

One year ago today, everyone I know was on Twitter or Facebook talking about how great hockey is as the US and Canada faced off in the Olympic gold medal game.  We could hear them cheering in our apartment complex, and it wasn’t the two Russian guys down the hall.

My response: I have been telling you this FOR YEARS.

And then, because truth is better than fiction, this:

Not because I wish I were Canadian.  Not even because Crosby is my favorite player on my favorite team.  Just because, as everyone realized for a few short days, hockey is awesome.

Maybe I’m a terrible American for how much I wanted this.  The US fought their hearts out, but this was the right ending for the story.  Just like our favorite Miracle on Ice story, sometimes fairy tales come true.

All the WUYS faves: Crosby, Iggy, Joey, Nash-ty, EStaal, TGB Doughty, Weber plus Old Man Neidermayer and Toews isn't even derping in the top corner.

On a not-so-side note, I feel this is also the opportunity to just put this out into the universe and hope someone is listening:  come back soon.  We miss you, the Pens miss you, heck I think even Dawn misses hating on you.   Today TSN read a roster of 40 players currently out with concussions (40!).  I held my breath hoping they weren’t going to say your name, that maybe you were surprising us all.  But there you were, almost last on the list.  It feels wrong to chase the Cup without you.

Hey Chuck…

12 Feb

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hallmark never had it so good.

Tonight, tonight…

9 Nov

So… one whole game last night, eh?  I still managed 9.5 points for my fantasy team because Zetterberg is a machine.  Since there’s nothing to talk about, how about a preview of tonight’s games?

Capitals @ Rangers – How much does Mike Green really love us?  Enough to get his 5th goal in 5 games AND punch Sean Avery in the face? If that happens, we’re changing the name of this blog to ‘What’s Up, Mike Green?’  Dawn says something about Ovechkin having 10 points in 6 games but I can’t hear her over the sound of these pants:

I shall call him Patches.

Flames @ Avalanche – Alex Tanguay and I care that he’s playing in Colorado, no one else does.  The Avs will have two rookie defensemen from BU on the ice – Kevin Shattenkirk and Colby Cohen.

Oilers @ Hurricanes – Remember when these two played to 7 games for the Cup in ‘o6?  I had been living on the beach in Thailand for 5 months and was like, “Who the hell are the Hurricanes?”  Gratuitous video of EStaaaaaaaaaaaal talking about his butt.

We're all thinking about it.

Maple Leafs @ Tampa Bay – Game canceled in favor of field trip to the Yuengling brewery and nearby Busch Gardens theme park.  Way more fun.  Steven Stamkos gets to drive the safari truck because he’s got the required 2.75 million goals.

Canucks @ Canadiens – Vancouver’s won 6 in a row and we hate the Habs.  We’d only watch this game if Justin Bieber repeated his World Series performance during every TV timeout.  Maybe not even then.

Actual size.

Thrashers @ Senators – Why no good Carrie Underwood sightings yet?  She can sing at the Super Bowl, but maybe she doesn’t know the words to the Canadien anthem?

Ducks @ Sharks – Anaheim is especially embarrassed to the the Ducks in a match up like this.  Thornton serves the 2nd game of his supsension for Thursday’s hit to STL’s David Perron.  You make the call – clean hit? Is it Thornton’s fault he’s 4″ taller?

We’re Calling It

6 Oct

It’s our favorite time of year –  time for wild predictions that will make you a chump in April.  We have consulted the shine of Barry Melrose’s hair and cast leaves in a bowl of Jeremy Roenick’s tears.  And now WUYS brings you…

Conference and Stanley Cup Champ predictions, 2010-2011

Politically incorrect to lift him over your head.

Chocolate Iced predicts:
Eastern Conf. Champs – Capitals
Western Conf. Champs – Blackhawks
Stanley Cup Champions – Capitals

CI – Faith in the Capitals may finally be rewarded.  After an early exit in ’09 and an absolute implosion last year, could this be the year they deliver on all that promise?  Ovi called their loss “embarrassing” – this from a man who dances on a boat in a pair of Dawn’s underwear.  He knows no shame except defeat.

Dawn predicts:
Eastern Conf. Champs – Capitals
Western Conf. Champs – Canucks
Stanley Cup Champions – Capitals

Dawn can’t believe she wrote Vancouver, but she’s hoping for a battle of the coasts.  Not least of all because it’s the closest hockey to her house and she’d happily evade the Mountie border patrol for the chance to see Ovi in action.  He’s is undoubtedly the Beast of the East.

Chuck predicts:
Eastern Conf. Champs – Capitals
Western Conf. Champs – Blackhawks
Stanley Cup Champions – Blackhawks

Chuck going out on a limb with the repeat – could turn out to be a very safe bet.  With lots of off-season changes, everyone’s anxious to see how the Hawks gel.  If Turco can get it done in net, we expect to see them well into next summer.

Pants predicts:
Eastern Conf. Champs – Penguins
Western Conf. Champs – Blackhawks
Stanley Cup Champions – Penguins

Pants has cast Mike Comrie as the guest star in How Malkin Got His Groove Back. They have a lot of young talent that knows how to win. And you can bet their first early summer in 3 years (a lifetime when you’re 22!) stung like a bitch. Hunger and expectation should put the Pens right back in it.

What Pants would look like during a Pens/Hawks Cup final:

And there’s a really good chance that Jonathan Toews would just make out with Sidney Crosby.  JT’s totally crushing on Sid – the blushing, giggling, teenage girl kind.  (Warning: This video is squee-tastic.  Tazer says “ass.”  Girls will die.)


(Video via a couple of sites, originating with sheesusnat and k diddy on LiveJournal.  We don’t know them, but we really love them.)

A special WUYS message to the San Jose Sharks:

Chuck: Dear Joe Thornton, I wanted to pick you vs. the Bruins for sentimental reasons (Bruins for the Cup, natch).  But you have toyed with my emotions.  You do all your post-game interviews shirtless then you never show up in the playoffs or remember my birthday.  I’ve been doing the walk of shame for you since ’97 and this year… well, this year is your last chance.  I mean it.

Pants: San Jose, let’s talk.  On a tin can phone since you’re right down the street.  ’09 was the pits – President’s Cup and punked by the Ducks in the first round.  Alas, the Pens won, so I don’t give a crap about you.  Last year was better… being swept sucks, but at least the Hawks went on to win the Cup.  This year, if you pull it together, we promise to do the “Fins” dance in your honor.