Tag Archives: jaromir jagr

Our post on Puck Daddy – NHL Playoff Beard Watch: Kevin Shattenkirk, Jaromir Jagr and other freaky efforts

3 May

Back when we listed the most common playoff beard types, you may recall we included the “Maybe Don’t” category. This is the circular file where well-intentioned and enthusiastic efforts are stored until perfect attendance awards are handed out. ‘A’ for effort and all that. Since then we have admired the burgeoning beauty of many beards.

Now that the playoffs are three weeks old, it’s time to show cards on a few manscapes that are struggling to make the cut.

Read more of our article on Puck Daddy [here]…

Ready to lead a cavlary charge.

Happy Friday the 13th – Best Day for Hockey!

13 Apr

No other horror movie celebrates Hockey with such bad assery!

Last night was a heart breaker when the Caps lost in OT to Boston – I’m sure Ovi had this Nightmare: 

No, not the floating head of death again!

And Seidenberg tried to take Ovi out with this hit but he found that weebles wobble but they don’t fall down! If Ovi can knock Jagr into next year at the Olympics, you’ll have to try harder Siddy-bergy than this:

As for it being FRIDAY THE 13th – I know we ran this before, but there is no such thing in my world as too much Kris Letang so for your FRIDAY THE 13th MOMENT OF ZEN:

Because It’s The Cup Campaign

10 Apr

Dawn, Ovi - sorry for the bad season. I do better in play-offs. I promise. BOOM! hahahahahahah

So when this campaign started the feedback was terrible so they adjusted it STAT because it was like the MasterCard ad, the Hockey Discover Card and “I Just Want My Pants Back” had a drunken three way, someone got pregnant and no one wanted to take responsibility for the monster that came of it.

Hockey fans will tell you straight up when something stinks.

I get TPTB wanted to include the fans but thank god we bascially got a bastard child of HISTORY WILL BE MADE! I don’t want to see faux Hollywood replicas of what they think we are doing in our homes/bars/favorites hockey watching spots. Trust me – WE KNOW. And it wasn’t what they were showing us.

I want to see Ovi telling me what he’s GOING to do in the play-offs.

Dear NHL - stilling waiting for Letang's solo "Because of the Cup" ad. Statistically speaking - Pens can win without St. Sid but not with out #58. Just sayin'

I want to see Kris Letang brush his sexy hair out of his face and smile at me as he skates at the screen.

I want to see Erik Karlsson and his glorious mullet, all awkward and sh&t.

Dear little man, may you win the Norris if Kris Letang (a complete dark horse but I wish would win) doesn't.

 Hell, I’d even take Jagr saluting me! (not quite but see below for you hard core philly fans – bless you all!)

You've grown on me like a fungus but you make me laugh - which is hard to do!

It isn’t quite that but it will do for now. So for your viewing pleasure if you haven’t seen these yet:

And stay out!

29 Dec

Tonight’s the night, and it’s not Santa coming to town.  Jaromir Jagr will bring his orange sweater to Pittsburgh for the first time.

Jagr played 11 seasons with the Penguins before being traded to the Capitals, then the Rangers.  After the ’08 season, he returned to the Czech Republic and played three years in their professional league.  Over the summer, he announced his intention to return to the NHL.  Cue the speculation.  Would he come back to finish his Hall of Fame career in the city where he won two Stanley Cups?  Did the bad taste left after his difficult post-Lemiuex captaincy still linger?  Or was it about the money?

Jagr signed a 1-year contract with the Flyers in July, worth $3.3 million.  He said other teams offered more money [link], but he thought Philly had what it takes to win.  He may be right.  So far he has 11 G/19 A playing on the top line.

Less than two hours after signing Jagr, while I was still laughing, the Flyers signed Max Talbot.  No more laughing.

*le sigh*

In 2009, Max scored both goals in Stanley Cup Final Game 7 to seal the Penguins first Cup win since Jagr left.  On paper, that was his claim to fame.  Pens fans know it was more than that – heart, soul and humor all lived in Max.   But how much ice time, and how many more seasons?  He wanted longevity and security; the Pens offered him a three year deal.  He went to Philly for five years and $9 million [link].  Max already has more goals (9) this year than ever before, and his well on his way the scoring more points (15 now) than his career high (26).  We’re glad to see him doing well even if we have to swallow back the bile to say that.

So, tonight.  I’m sure Jagr will get the mega-boo.  Max will get the initial cheer, because you always love your ex-boyfriends just a little even if they break your heart.  After that, it’s the boo for Talbo too, I’m afraid.  I doubt he’ll be telling anybody to “shhhh.”

Game day interviews with Jagr and Talbot here, thanks to PensTV.

The Penguins and Flyers are currently tied with 46 points, behind the Rangers 48 points in the Atlantic Division.   Pittsburgh has so many injuries their locker room has moved to a triage tent in the parking lot.  Philly is without Pronger, likely for the season, but Giroux’s concussion comeback seems to be legit – he leads the NHL with 44 points. (WAIT, CLAUDE GIROUX IS 23 YEARS OLD?  What the eff?!?)

I’m skipping Sherlock Holmes for the fourth night in a row to be home for this one, I’m expecting a big game out of my boys.  We’re having a few banner seasons of our own: Malkin has 42 points, Neal has 21 goals.  It’s not the Two-Headed Monster but it’s still really freaking good.

The Flyers have hit a rough stretch, losing 4 of 5 and philosopher-goalie extraordinaire Ilya Bryzgalov has lost his last 4 starts with a GAA over 4.5 (seriously though, love this guy).  Backup tender Bobrovsky has had the Pens number in past seasons.  No word on who will start in Philly’s net tonight.

While these signs were meant for Caps fans back on 12/13, I think we can agree they apply here as well:


Forty is the new Thirty

25 Oct

Jaromir Jagr is 39 years old.  Someone making a late-career comeback always worries me, mostly because I like to see great players go out with style.  So when I first heard Jagr was coming back, I cringed.  I didn’t really care that he went to the Flyers – he’s already gone to the Caps and Rangers, how many more times could he hurt me?  The only interest I had was seeing if Philly made a mistake, because I do like to see the Flyers embarrassed.

Whoever gave us bangs should pay for this mistake.

But I want this to be the one that works.  Call it the mullet effect, or the fact that he’s the only person on Earth whose hair looked worse than mine in 1991.  As we get older and everyone we used to love retires, watching Jagr play makes me feel like a little kid again.

The first seven Flyers games came and went with people holding their breath.  He can skate, he can pass.  But can Jagr still score at this level, with the flair of 20 (yes, 20!) years ago?  Well he scored his first and second goals of the season last night, and they are beauties:

Don’t mind me while I split this defense.

Don’t mind me while I nail this breakaway.

He has 5 assists to go along with his 2 goals, putting him 27th in the NHL for points.  It’s only been 3 weeks and time will tell if age and non-NHL training can keep up with a grueling season.  But so far… I’m pretty of impressed.  And not just by how much better we both look now.

Pomp and Circumstance

7 Oct

This whole grad school business is going to seriously cut into my hockey watching time.

Class this semester is on Thursdays, which means that I’m going to have to tape alot of games this year, only to watch them when I get home at 9:30pm.

Chuck no likey.

Yesterday, I taped the Bruins game (natch) and couldn’t race home fast enough to watch my beloved Killer Bs raise their championship banner.

Two words.  Goose. Bumps.

I’m not an overly sentimental person (except at Pants’ wedding when she danced with her dad.  Me = hot mess), but last night, I was all dewy-eyed and loved up over the Bruins’ banner ceremony.

The old generation (1972 Bruins)  passing the proverbial torch to the new generation (2011 Bruins). 93 year old yet spritely Milt Schmidt arm-in-arm with Bobby Orr just made me all happy.

It was a well-done, exhilarating, and classy production.


Pants and I couldn’t have done it better ourselves.

Enough with the lovefest! Let’s play some HOCKEY!

And play we did.

Despite the loss, the fact is that there are 81 games left.  Still a lot of season left to play.

Five other facts from last night’s Bruins/Flyers match up.

1) Timmy’s smile is infectious.  Like ebola.

2) Pierre Maguire looks like a muppet.

meep meep meep

3) Brad Marchand shall now be known as Squirrel.  He’s right squirrely that one.  Quick.  Nimble.  Darting in and out of the Flyers’ defense.  Collecting hockey pucks like acorns.


4) Jaromir Jagr has been in the NHL since he was a fetus (okay, since he was 18), but dude can still play.  Jagr + Giroux + van Reemsdyk could be a nasty combination this season.  Flyers coach said that Jagr will come back to the rink AFTER having already practiced that day to work out again.  Really?  Way to make everyone else in the hockey world look straight up lazy.

Toews, Letang, Nash ain't got nothing on my workout videos.

5) Our boy Tyler Seguin looked very mature on the ice.  Making breaks, smart plays, crisp passes to his BFF Marchand.  But he’s only 20.  Still plenty more of this yet to come.



Hats Off – Hockey Hair

13 Oct

Mike!  I told you the fight was plenty, and the sweaty Ovi workout shirt you stole for Dawn.  Please stop lavishing me with gifts for our joint birthday celebration.  Good thing it’s over, I’m not sure what else you might do.

Caps TV did a totally boring Mike Green birthday segment in which Mike showed off this hair.  No casual helmet toss or Fighting Irish stance – this is gel, mousse and possibly a blow dryer.  Or a protractor.  (FYI: I had to straight up Google “math tool half circle” to remember what that was called.)

Non-hockey career? Architect.

See the full action in the video.

This brings us to a very valid old time hockey topic: Hockey Hair.  Chuck and I have long rejoiced in the glory of hockey hair, most specifically when it comes to Mike Modano.  He never could close his mouth all the way and his wife dated a Backstreet Boy, but his hair is glorious.

Shampoo commercial.

The rule of Hockey Hair is best summed up by Austin Powers: “Feed my fish.  Not too much!” Just enough to show from under your helmet, not enough to add extra cranial padding.  And it’s not necessarily a mullet – in fact, with Intergalactic Mullet Champion Barry Melrose hanging around, it’s best not to even try.  Unless you’re Jaromir Jagr, who once fled Pittsburgh fans at the mall by ducking into a store, buying a dress and coming out costumed as the ugliest woman alive.  Not a joke.  Also Patrick Kane, who would have gotten this as a fraternity bet even if he didn’t play hockey.  That or shave off his eyebrows.

Buzz cut, steps and BANGS. That shizz has BANGS.

A few guys sport the full ‘fro – I can talk because my hair looks like this.  But I’m a girl.  At least I would have have the sense to ponytail that nonsense before putting on a helmet.  Not to mention – aren’t you sweating?  My hair is like a sweater on my head and gets everywhere – I can barely eat without a hair tie.

Guess the hockey players.

There is a place for this – on unattractive guys.  Comedy hair, if you will.  It works or it doesn’t, but we will always remember you.  Then there are some guys who rock it right – and totally rock without it – for whom hockey hair is the crowning glory on their total package of awesome.

Staal (beardfail), Letang (beardwin, FML)... and Forsberg, the king.

Chuck and Dawn – who did I miss?  Anyone whose locks you can’t live without?  Where is the evolution of hockey hair leading?  We could go bald-is-sexy like Getzlaf, or curl & dye like Henrik Lundqvist… if there aren’t any variations left on Mike’s mohawk.

Mike Green, 2011