Archive | Well OBVIOUSLY. RSS feed for this section

Sixty for Stamkos

9 Apr

Saturday was an epic hockey marathon featuring every team in the NHL.  Some games were for playoff position, others were a last hurrah.  For me, not even that killer Caps win came close to seeing Steven Stamkos score his 60th goal of the season.

And get a pie in the face.

Stop looking at Ran Malone’s tattoos and focus! [video]

Stamkos is the 20th player in NHL history to score 60 in a season.  He got 48 of them at even strength.  Probably all of them were from Squishy (not an actual statistic).  Brittany (@kneesandtoews) and I were Landeskoging all over the place.  She is the biggest Bolts fan we know (actual statistic).

Summer is already too long.

Sunday was for drying tears over the teams we won’t see again until September.  To send you all off, an adorable story about Stammer & Marty, Best Friends Forever [link].

And two post-game interviews, one regular [link] and one in which Ryan Malone’s tattoos (on his stomach?!) once again steal the show:

Broadcast News

3 Apr

Mike Milbury is talking crap again.  In other news, water is wet.

He made some derogatory remarks about Sidney Crosby is a Philly radio interview discussing the brawl at the end of Saturday’s game.  He called Sidney a “punk” and a “goody two shoes” among other things that you can read about on [link].

This cat? Smarter than Mike Milbury. (Real accidental internet gem.)

Let me say, as a huge Crosby fan, that sometimes he is a punk and a goody-two shoes.  It’s like saying sometimes Scott Hartnell is a goon – he’s still an awesome hockey player.  Ovi is lazy – we know this.  Then he lights it up and you remember why you don’t really care. (Bad example, I care about that one.)  Patrick Kane dives, Jonathan Toews pouts, Ryan Kesler gets his naked pictures Photoshopped (insists Jess).  Get over it!  You want to hate him, so you’re really just complaining about something you don’t want to stop.

Look, I don’t care if you like Crosby or not.  I could defend him for days, but loving to hate someone is half the fun!  I have been brainwashed by the Capitals and I still hate Ovi, so I get it.

What Milbury’s doing here, aside from making Liam McHugh wish for a new job, is pandering.  He knew his audience, that their blood was up about the game.  Now he’s sorry.  MY ASS, BUDDY.  He realizes now his remarks were “inappropriate and wrong?”  That’s like saying “no offense” then being really offensive, or ending an insult with “bless his heart.”  Milbury has to cover who knows how many more Pens games this season, and is suddenly worried he’ll seem foolish or biased.  Oh no, we might not respect his opinions!  I’m laughing so hard I can’t even hear what he’s blabbering about.

Milbury’s other big contribution to the world in this interview was:

[Crosby]’s not the perfect gentleman. He’s not the sweet kid you see in interviews with his hat pulled down over his eyes.”

WHAT?  REALLY?!  I’ve been waiting here ages in this dress for him to pick me up, and I’m pretty sure prom is over by now!

Does anyone think this?  Who is Milbury astonishing with this news?  Mike must be in the tanning bed between his intermission segments, because anyone who thinks that Crosby, or any player, is out there selling Girl Scout Cookies must be new around here.  (Insert vision here of Stamkos skating cross-ice to tackle Troy Brouwer after a hit – we don’t want pushovers on our teams!)

Matt Cooke, past life.

You can read Sid’s comments at the same link.  I wish he’d just said, “Does anyone care what Mike Milbury says?” and left it.  Answering only makes things worse.  (Gah! I’m doing it too!)  All that matters in the end is if you performed and if you won – and even Crosby-haters can’t argue with the scoresheet.

Since Sid won’t say it, and certainly isn’t the only player who wants to, I will.  Shove it, Milbury.  Preferably somewhere where we’re not forced to watch you.

The Kid Stays in the Picture

13 Mar




Hurrah for Gabe Landeskog on one hell of a game.

After missing the pre-game skate with flu-like symptoms, he somehow managed to tough it out and score the game-winning goal (his 4th GWG of the season) versus the Kings in OT last night.

When I have the flu, all I want to do is eat saltines, drink ginger ale, and watch bad movies like “Teen Witch”.  The thought of having to play 60 minutes of hockey when all you want to do is hurl makes me want to hurl.

I don’t know how you did it, kid.

Landeskog also had three shots in the game bringing his season tally to 235 for the year, breaking Peter Stasny’s franchise rookie record for shots set waaaaay back in 1980-81 (12 years before GL92 was even a fetus.)

The Avalanche are in a desperate fight for a playoff spot so they are gonna need every point they can get.  Last night’s win moved them into 8th in the Western Conference.

With Matt Duchene out with a ankle injury, the Avs are going to have to depend guys like Landeskog, O’Reilly, and Stasny to keep them in the hunt.  Also critical to their playoffs hopes is the goaltending of Varlamov.  He’s been playing really well as of late and last night, he looked pretty tioght.

Let’s hope that the Avs’ young talent can sustain them and keep them in the race.

Because frankly, we’d love to see more of this.


P.S.  Kudos to Landeskog for giving a very nice, poised, coherent post-game interview.  So often, I cringe every time players do post-games because 99% of them are in desperate need of media training.  But Gabe was perfect.  Kid is gonna be a superstar.

This is Not My Fault

12 Mar

Before you scroll down, I’m just going to say three things:

1) Fair warning.

2) You can all stop sending me these photos now.

3) Intern Jeff Skinner can lift a LOT of office supplies.

I mean STOP IT.  I tried to resist posting these, but at least three people emailed me and this is a cheer-ocracy.  I’m not responsible for whatever you thought the moment you saw them, but I know where they’re from…

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JEFF?  You left that ice wearing three layers of clothing – did you Hulk right out of them?  There are girls in the stands who would faint (a few just fainted here).   Maybe you heard us all say we thought James Neal was kinda skinny on NHL36, or it’s because Tyler Seguin takes his shirt off every ten minutes.  If you want to keep showing off, and have 2-goal games like Saturday, we can take requests for you to jump out of birthday cakes.

And no, you still can’t have a raise.  But this was a *really* nice try.  I might have some singles…

[Real Question: What do you give strippers in Canada?  Loonies and Toonies?  Without paper dollars, I’m confused.  Or is everyone there so hot they start at the $5 range?]

Foxy Friday: Gregory Campbell

9 Mar

This week, we’re going to the bench and giving the 4th line some playing time.

We thought it was time to give some love to the muckers and the grinders, the gritty players who claw and fight and forcheck their ways into our hearts.  While they might not show up on stat sheets or make it to ESPN’s Top 10, they are still deserving on our love.

And none is as deserving…or as foxy as Gregory Campbell, 4th line center for the Boston Bruins.

Thank you Lord for the v-neck tshirt.

Mean mugging with Horton and Looch

Campbell, or Soupy as he is affectionally known, came to the Bruins along with Nathan Horton in a trade at the beginning of the Bruins’s spectacular Stanley Cup season of 2010-2011.  He’s 6ft, 197 lbs of solid hockey man and has been a stalwart on the Bruins’ aggressive and impressive 4th line (aka the Merlot Line because of their wine colored practice jerseys) for much of the time he’s been with the Bs.

Hey Gurl.

He has ingraciated himself with the Bruins fans for his consistent and smart play…and his ability to bloody and pummel opposing players when the occasion call.  Sometimes he gets pummelled in return, but that just part of the game.  As the great band The New Radicals once said, “You gotta get what you give.”

Taking one for the team

He was a critical part of the Bruins’ Stanley Cup run where he masterfully center the penalty kill, limiting the Canucks to just two power-play goals in seven games.  He forechecks like a mutha.   He is strong on the face-off.  He even scores goals occasionally, like this beaut from last night’s game vs. the Sabres.

He has lovely eyes.  And his beard…well we all know how I feel about beards.

His arms inspire sonnets and proclamations of undying love.

He brings tasty pies to those that do not have pies.

He likes things shiny.

Sure, his dad might be Colin Campbell, former director of hockey operations for the NHL, but don’t think for one minute that this guy hasn’t earned his place in the NHL through nepotism or favoritism. He earned it through grit, determination, and and smart hockey sense.

He is an invaluable part of the Bruins squad and that alone makes him worth for this Foxy Friday honor.

Foxy Friday: Matt Duchene

24 Feb

If you haven’t realized it yet, Pants and I are sort of nerds (in a sexy, classy way of course).  So it it is only natural that we have a soft spot for nerdy guys.

They are the ying to our yang.  The milk to our cereal.  The chips to our salsa.

Now, when they happen to be  nerdy hockey players…well, that’s even better!  Our hearts just explode with rainbows and glitter.

Take this week’s Foxy Friday, for example.

Matt Duchene

"Who are you wearing?" "Uh, not sure. My mom bought this for me."

Is there anyone more adorkable? Seriously.

I mean look at him. He’s got to be one the nerdiest in the NHL.

But you know what?  It makes him all the more foxier.

So let’s break it down.  Why is Matt “Pass the Dutchy” Duchene deserving of such a prestigious honor like Foxy Friday?

He’s got the serious hockey flow. We all love the flow… when done correctly. (We’re looking at you, Steven Stamkos.)

Dutchy gives you WINGS!

He is a fan of nerdy things – just like us.  Soulmate.

He’s got the sweet dance moves.

He love vodka.  So do we, Matt.  So. Do. We.

He loves country music.  Which automatically makes Pants love him more.

Honestly, how can you not love a man who can go from this…

We love a man that can rock a jort.

to this…

Hai sexy girlfriend.

It’s called versatility, people.

He’s self-deprecating and goofy and he gives off the vibe that he doesn’t take himself so seriously.  Which I’m sure most of us can attest to, is a very foxy quality in a man – hockey player or otherwise.

Obviously, we can’t forget Matt’s hockey skills, which is a large part of the reason why he is this week’s honoree.

He’s only got 25 points this season (12 G/13 A) but he did just returned to the lineup on Feb. 18th after missing 20 games with a knee injury.

But when you score flithy goals like this AND play on a line with Gabe Landeskog and Ryan O’Reilly (aka the Ultrasound Line), we don’t think it will take very long for Dutchy to remedy that situation.

Follow Matt on the twitter – @Matt9Duchene

I Love Twitter – Episode 74

17 Feb

I actually said, “Baby Jesus in the manger.” when I saw this.

For the record, Gator is fine. She saw this last night and didn’t even mention it.  In fact, no one mentioned it. I thought we were friends, you guys!!!

And Karl too, of course.  These two are so freaking precious.

Here’s Zac’s story [link, video] and how you can support his fight against cancer.