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Mikey Monday: Time Out

12 Mar

Mike is currently in detention, serving his 3-game ban for a hit to the head.  He spoke to reporters yesterday [video link] and was pretty contrite about it.  This is a classy way to disagree with a ruling but still take your lumps.

Well handled, Mr. Green.

Roman Hamrlik has replaced Mike in the last two games, and the Caps have won both. Unrelated, yes.  But lucky too because it takes away some of the sting when this could have put the Caps in a really bad spot.

Hopefully the Caps can get past the Islanders tomorrow night, then Mike will be back for Friday’s game in Winnipeg.  Super important stuff.

Can I be honest for a moment?  I got distracted by how completely effing perfect he is.  Didn’t hear a word he said, had to watch it again and again.  WUYS is on such a boy band-esque sugar high today that we need a slumber party full of pillow fights and ice cream.  You’re all invited and Mike would definitely attend.

Shanabanned: Mike Green

10 Mar

Sorry if this place looks like Hate on the Caps Central.  We just want to win!!

And this won’t help.  Mike Green has been suspended three games.

I would be lying if I said the idea of Brendan Shanahan yelling at Mike on the phone didn’t give me the giggles.  I picture it like the principal yelling at the detention kids in The Breakfast Club.  Mike’s all of the guys, of course – the nerd, the jock and the bad boy with the soft heart.  He’d wear your earring, if not for that helmet.

Pooh Bear, why?  Keep your damned elbows down, this isn’t a Fall Out Boy emo pseudo-mosh pit!

So the Capitals will face Boston, Toronto and the NYI with Fidget on defense.  It’ll be Hamrlik or Erskine taking his place today.  I hope it’s Erskine – have you seen the Bruins?  Yikes.  I don’t want Troy Brouwer fighting all the Caps battles, because he scores 75% of their goals.

Godspeed to the Capitals today.  Chuck and her boys will show no mercy.

ALL the Bubble Wrap!

1 Mar

Kris Letang took a hit to the head last night and left the Pens game in the first with an “upper body injury.”

Immediately, commentators began fighting.  Some say Letang put himself in a vulnerable position.  Others are calling for Eric Nystrom’s suspension.  EJ Hradek of NHL Network says:

ESPN’s (former Foxy Friday) John Buccigross disagrees:

By far the best was Milbury and Jeremy Roenick about to take off their earrings and start slapping each other.  (Props to Milbury – WHAT?!?!? I know. – for recommending Bylsma tell Pierre to “take off, eh?” for being a tool.)  See the video at Deadspin.com [link].

Disco Dan says Kris is “day-to-day” at this point.  After the non-committal injury descriptions in hockey, I think DTD is my favorite un-phrase.

As you know (because you counted the days till he was back), Letang missed nearly two months this season after suffering a concussion on November 26.  The hit earned Montreal’s Max Paccioretty a 3-game ban, even though the Pens cleared Letang and he returned to play.  Almost a week of continuing symptoms later, Kris was finally diagnosed with a concussion.

Gratuitous hair photo.

Since returning to the ice, Kris has been the same BAMF that earned him the most write-in votes of any NHL’er for the 2011 All-Star Game and a spot on that starting lineup.  He has 9G/22A on the year, and is credited with raising the game of his d-partner Paul Martin (who is not James Neal’s girlfriend).

Gratuitous perfection photo.

The NHL has not announced if Nystrom will have a hearing.  So what’s your verdict?  Shanabanned or no?  Maybe the NHL could introduce a new system of punishment here – using the fans.  If hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, you should see how she reacts when you take away her Letang.

Shanabanned: Brad Marchand

10 Jan

Let’s face it people.

This was bound to happen.

Twas only a matter of time until the “Lil’ Ball of Hate” aka “Squirrel” aka “Marshamont” did a bad, bad thing and got himself Shanabanned.

Brad Marchand - You've been SHANABANNED!

Marchand has been suspended for five games and will forfeit $152,439.02 for clipping Vancouver Canucks defenseman Sami Salo during  Saturday’s game.  Marchand will miss games vs. Winnipeg, Montreal (GAH!),  Carolina,  Florida and Tampa Bay.

Check out the Shanabanned explanation here.

Marchand, who also received a two-game suspension in March 2011, has been classified as a repeat offender (for shame!) under the terms of the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

SQUIRREL ANGRY!!

The thing about Marchand is that he’s like a little kid, constantly pushing his boundaries just to the limit.  It’s like “how far can I go and how many times can I annoy my parents before I get grounded and sent to my room with no supper”?

Marchand is young, aggressive, and he chirps ALOT.  He has the skill and speed to back it up, but that also leaves him a little bit undisciplined at times and prone to take some bad penalties, like the one against Salo.

Obviously this is a blow to the Bruins, as Marchand brings a certain level of intensity and a deft scoring touch, it by no means hurts the team’s chance to win those 5 games without him.

The Bruins are a deeeeeeeeeeeep team (especially at forward) and will shuffle the lines accordingly.   Beniot Pouliot will take Marchand’s place on the 2nd line with the Professor and Teen Wolf.  He’s filled in for Marchand before and has done an excellent job.   Zach Hamill will be called up from Providence and will center the 3rd line with Chris Kelly and Rich Peverley.

Like any true Bruins fan, I will defend my team till the death, but I’m totally okay with the league’s decision.  Do the crime.  Do the time.

5 Games. You feel shame.

Don’t Mess with Nicky

4 Jan

Last night, Rene Bourque elbowed Nicky B in the face.

My neighbors must think I’ve opened a truck stop for the mile-long string of extremely colorful expletives that came out of my mouth.  Bourque got an elbowing minor.  Nicky took two more shifts, then went off for “observation” and did not return to the game.  Coach Dale Hunter says they’ll know more today.

You hurt THIS FACE?! What is wrong with you?!

Shanny’s going to bust out his spray starch today and give Bourque a disciplinary hearing [link].  Bourque has already been suspended once this year – just 18 days ago (12/18)!  He got 2 games for boarding Brent Seabrook [video].  Apparently he’s only after guys with really great hair.

Nicky had 3 assists and was First Star.  Mike played 15 minutes and had 2 penalties – none of them for fighting the guy who decked his boyfriend.  The Caps beat the Flames 3-1 and have won their last 4 in a row.

If Nicky misses games… I can’t. I’m not going to say anything.  Mike just got back!  They need each other!  And I/we need them!  We’ll just play TSwift’s “Nothing I Do Better than Revenge” on a loop today and sharpen our claws.

Shanabanned: Deryk Engelland

23 Dec

Pittsburgh’s Deryk Engelland has been suspended 3 games for his hit on Chicago’s Marcus Kruger from Tuesday night. [link]  They ruled the hit illegal, plus Kruger was injured (concussion) on the play.  The sentence was mitigated by the fact the Engelland has never been fined or suspended before.

It’s probably in poor taste (since when do we care?), but I was hoping for a Christmas-themed shirt or something from Shanny.  Little embroidered Santas?  Snowman lapel pin?  With all the time he’s spending in NY you think he’d soak up some Lundqvist style.

Eggo’s suspension begins tonight and troubles the already-taxed Penguins defensemen.  Kris Letang is still out with a concussion.  Paul Martin is listed as “questionable” for tonight vs. Winnipeg (leg injury).  The good news is that Ben “Girls Love”joy is back on the blue line and even had an assist Tuesday.   Pittsburgh has recalled Brian Strait from the AHL for reinforcements.  (Strait suffered a dislocated elbow in his only NHL game this season – 10/18 – but we’re not going to say that out loud.)

Video of the hit and ensuing fight with John Scott (if you can call it that) from Wednesday’s post [link].

WUYS Morning News

17 Nov

Mike Green didn’t make the trip to Winnipeg with the Caps, but he did take his sprained ankle to the Kid Rock show in DC last night.  He wore his only favorite sweater (seriously, he wears this more than Toews wears that suit) and that hat that makes me want to throw snowballs.  Money was raised for Mike’s So Kids Can charity.  Gator is from the D and she wanted to go, but instead we worked, A.K.A. watched Breaking Dawn, ate snacks and yelled back at the screen.  Good times all around.

At least Kid Rock looks excited.

Chicago beat Vancouver (ooh, say it again!) 5-2 with a couple of wacky bouncers.  Kaner, Hossa, Montador and Toews all had 2-point games.  And for anyone who didn’t cringe when we made Patrick Kane a Foxy Friday, he’s got a new One Goal commercial [link].

Brendan starched another shirt and Shanabanned Blues’ Chris Stewart three games for boarding Wings’ Niklas Kronwall.  This one’s ugly.

NHL.com used my favorite phrase as a headline.  Sadly it’s about Ilya Kovalchuk.  I watched this hoping actual pants would fall, but alas there is only a very pretty goal.

The Islanders introduced their third jerseys, which are pretty standard.  They’re worlds better than this yellow mess Nashville adopted, but no amount of fashion changes the fact you are still the Islanders (sorry).

The red-hot Bruins put their 6 game win streak on the line tonight vs. Blue Jackets.  Seguin’s on fire (Chuck loves) and leads the NHL in plus/minus rating with +15.  (Don’t mind EStaal down at the bottom with -18.)  Speaking of bottom of the barrel, Columbus is 3-13-1 with only 7 points on the season.  Now that I’ve said that, they’ll probably win.

Team Jacob

The Penguins are in Tampa Bay tonight and Sid will not play.  Errrrbody calm down (obviously I mean me).  Disco Dan would not comment on Saturday’s game – could Sid return?  I want him back this instant, but am also willing to await a triumphant debut in DC on 12/1 when I’m getting booed for wearing my 87 at Verizon Center.  It would be like a romantic comedy: Sid taking the ice, me dodging flying food, then Pens winning.  I can see it now.

James Neal will of course play tonight, and he’s got a 7-game point streak going (ties longest of his career).  JStaal has three goals in two games.  Stamkos and Neal are tied will 11 goals, and I like to think this means bromance rivalry.

Now boys, don't fight.

Only 8 hours 10 minutes till game time.