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Had a Bad Day

28 Feb

Yesterday’s NHL Trade Deadline was a snore.  I thought Twitter might melt from all the ennui and complaints, or Alyonka Larianov’s increasingly desperate attempts to hold our interest.  Here’s how things shook out [link].

John Scott was “shocked” to be traded to the Rangers, and was in the middle of doing laundry when the call came.  Bonus points for Foxy Fridays Matt Duchene and Gabriel Landeskog, who led the Avalanche love-fest for players both coming and going by Tweeting their teammates hello and goodbye simultaneously.  Brian Rolston goes back to Boston, where he played 4+ seasons.  The winners are anyone leaving the Islanders or Jets, and anyone going to the Canucks.  The abstainer was The Washington Capitals.  The loser?  Rick Nash.  Let’s discuss.

The Washington Capitals made zero trades, surprising a lot of people.  This seems to say that GMGM either 1) thinks the team is fine the way it is or 2) has given up on this season.  In my opinion, it’s more likely that no one was buying at his prices.  The Caps chemistry is flawed and inconsistent, but it doesn’t need to be burned to the ground.  GMGM showed continued/expensive faith in stars and fragile pandas (Sasha Fierce, Mike Green).

Misplaced faith?  Ask me in six weeks when the Caps don’t make the playoffs.  But what they had to sell (Knuble, Hamrlik) really only matches the Rolston/Mottau deal, and that was for prospects.  The Caps need players who can deliver immediately.  To get those guys, GMGM would have had to give up some of the few things that are actually working for the Caps.  I don’t want Laich, Chimera, Perreault or anyone else moving when they seem to be the only hopes left for March and April.

Then there’s poor Rick Nash.   Chuck and I are biased because we love his smiley lumberjack ways.  Also because he’s incredibly talented and seems like a genuinely nice guy.  But he’s no fool.  All Nash has to show for 9 seasons with the Blue Jackets is one trip to the playoffs, swept by the Red Wings.  The only place this captain is going is down with his ship – so he finally wanted off.

Columbus GM Scott Howson revealed yesterday that Nash asked to be traded [link].  This refuted talk the Jackets were shopping him of their own accord, and came as the clock ticked down on the biggest fish in the trade pond still trying to bite a hook.  But no team would put out enough bait.  Howson defended his astronomical asking price by pointing out he is neither required nor compelled to trade Nash just because he asked nicely.

How many of these are left in Columbus?

Now, I’m mad.  Howson threw Nash under the bus.  “Think you’re miserable now?  See how it feels when I turn the fans against you!” (Obviously not a real Howson quote.)  If Rick can’t get out of Columbus this summer, my heart will break.  He wanted to anchor that team and be the franchise guy that built a winning club.  Columbus has not delivered.  The Jackets are talking about “rebuilding” – rebuilding what?!  You have one Nash-shaped support beam and no house!  You never did.

In truth, the Jackets can’t afford to sell Nash unless they immediately start winning in return.  Rick’s price tag is something between a ransom and a bounty.  He’s all they have right now, after supposed big moves like Jeff Carter are quickly forgotten.  Columbus ranks 26th overall in NHL attendance, due in part to being so close to other teams (Pittsburgh fans call match-ups in Columbus “home games.”).  Nash is putting bodies in seats on nights when no one else can.  Without him….

I also feel for the Jackets’ fans; of course they don’t want to lose their one bright spot.  These fans, all the more precious for being in an expansion market, have stuck with the team like Nash has.  I hope they understand the position he’s in.  They can still get solid players in a Nash trade.  Come summer, teams struggling to make the playoffs now will have time to figure out what a fresh start with Nash is worth.  After what will be the Jackets’ 11th rough season in a row, it’s certainly worth a try.

A Few Sweet Dudes

7 Oct

You knew it was coming.  Captain Serious cannot be outdone in any category (especially his own category) – he was just saving the best for last.  Taking a (really too obvious but keep doing squats and we don’t care) page from 24/7, Blackhawks TV once again brings you the best hockey programming around.  Carter, Lindsay and you (yes, you) – enjoy:

Blackhawks Fitness Testing Video [link]

Blackhawks Stretching & Weights Routine[link]

Of course JT isn’t the only one working hard.  Hammer can be my Field Day partner – check out that one-legged long jump distance.  Duncan Keith’s quad is the size of my waist:

Seabrook’s hair is a World Wonder:

And Kaner owns this balance measure… he once used it as a sobriety test.

We see you, lady at the table. Eyes on his feet!

The Hawks kick off the season tonight in Dallas.  The game is on NHL Center Ice, so if you want to come over just bring pizza.

Because We Say So.

5 Oct

It’s time to predict the eventual winners for the 2011-2012 season, so we can look smart and important when spring rolls around.  Or not.  Last year we all picked some combo of the Caps, Blackhawks, Canucks and Penguins [link].  That 25% result is less than the chance that Intern Jeff Skinner’s going to take you to the prom.  So here we go again:

CHUCK:

Eastern Conference Finals: Bruins vs. Capitals

Eastern Conference Champs: Bruins

Western Conference Finals: Canucks vs. Kings

Western Conference Champs: Kings

Stanley Cup Champs: Bruins

We all know that repeating as champs is nigh impossible though in the NHL these days, but the Bruins only lost two players to free agency (Kaberle & Ryder) and 1 to retirement (Recchi).  The heart and soul of the Bruins are still here.  Bruins have arguably the best and deepest set of forwards in the game and can get production from all 4 lines.  Plus, let’s not forget that you have Tuukka Rask, a top-notch goalie in his own right, backing up Thomas.

Kings are my dark horse team.  After picking up Mike Richards and Simon Gagne and resigning Drew Doughty, the Kings look to be a serious contender in the Western Conference. They have good young netminder in Jonathan Quick and if Gagne and Anze Kopitar can stay healthy, they could be the team to watch.

PANTS

Eastern Conference finals: Penguins vs. Capitals

Eastern Conference Champs: Penguins

Western Conference finals: Canucks vs. Sharks

Western Conference Champs: Canucks

Stanley Cup Champs: Penguins

Like everyone else, I think the Capitals will be a force to reckon with this season.  It’s (mostly) selfish hope that they will carry it all the way into the playoffs, so I can have the longest hockey season ever.  But I think the Pens will be strong early with Malkin and Staal in, and maybe James Neal will get his scoring touch back.  The Return of Crosby will be like Willy Wonka somersaulting down the orange carpet to greet his lucky minions at the gate.  Chocolate Stanley Cups for everyone!

Much like the Caps, I think the Sharks are long overdue for a dominating post-season performance.  They’ve won their division the last four years in a row and made it to the Conference finals the last two years.  Ultimately I don’t see them beating Vancouver, but I think they can do better than last May’s 4-1 failfest.

So, let’s hear it – who are your picks to have a great 2011-2012?  Feel free to shamelessly back your favorite teams – we obviously have.  Don’t hate us because they’re awesome.

 

Anything you can do, I can do better.

30 Sep

Move over Kris Letang!

Rick’s got his own workout video AND his own home gym in which to do it.

Four words.

Rick. Nash. Workout. Video.

*dies*

Why I am I just finding this now??

He really is trying to keel me.

This man can wear a backwards baseball cap like a boss.

 

Baby, We Laich It.

10 Sep

Deb submitted this video with the Tweet “Brooks Laich showing Tanger up in the workout department.”

Ladies, discuss.

My first thought was, “Ha ha (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh), they said ‘lower body’.” Then (out loud), “Stop, you’re hurting my knees!” and then “Why are you wearing a life preserver?”  It is, of course, a weight vest.  Which I’d never heard of before these workout videos starting popping up.

Since Mikey did a workout vid, Brooks has to do one.  It’s part of the up-all-night girl talk agreements they made during that sleepover, after which Brooks made Mike cereal for breakfast.  Mike was not impressed.

He makes a bid for All Time Squat Champion by doing them with skates on.  I look away in fear.  (My vote: Tazer still wears this crown.)

And in today’s episode of Cassy’s New Job – being this spotter person.  Put on some Pitbull and let’s dance.

OH MY OKAY!!  When you get to 2:16, Brooks wins.  All in, he takes the pot.  And he is not bluffing.  See for yourselves:

I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Thanks Deb!”  Or you will be when you regain consciousness.

New Season, New Hope!

6 Sep

I'm sorry ... he's hot. he's perfect. he's a hockey machine. I love him!

This is what I’ve been up to (see below) in hopes of helping the Capitals win the Stanley cup – FINALLY! I was so excited when I read the big fall preview of THN issue that still puts the Capitals as winning the cup in 2012! With all their off-season re-tooling, high praise for GMGM and loyalty to BB for a lack lusture post-season run – AGAIN. Not so rockin’.

I just wanted out of Florida really.

But this year, we got Tomas Vokoun – and yes, SOME ONE frickin’ FINALLY heard  me peeps! All that screamin’ in Seattle  – and buggin’ my house, the bat phone to DC actually came through and though they protest too much, THEY GOT A GOALIE AND VARLY is gone. Am I dreaming? SRSLY?! I feel like I am swimming in a sea of rainbow skittles and Sasha Fierce has promise to actually play hockey this season – oh please – oh please don’t let me wake up.

they got caught coming out of Ihop ... nicky's mom is really disappointed.

But MG52 better have given Animal his walking papers over the summer. Or Pants is going to give her pouty face again.

Carlson and Alzner went to sleep away camp together for some more bonding time in the off-season even though it looked like one may not make the cap deadline. Luckily McPhee came through with the cash at the expense of another player but you can’t come between the bobbsie twins.

iCarly sneaks a cuddle with Ovi - who WOULDN'T!

And Brooksy looks like he may be a Capital for life which is just fine with him. He may not ‘pump your tires’ but we know he’ll change them if it’s raining after a game even if he’s in his Armani suit – remember that ladies. I foresee many break downs outside Kettler Arena soon!

I may not pump your tires, but I'll change them, ladies!

And we can’t forget the most important pre-season date – 9/17. BEWARE. It’s all I’m sayin. Cause I’ve been saving for it.

I’ll be wearing my highest rated googled sweat pants and this on that day and every game there after … GO CAPITALS!

I needed an accessory to go with my sweat pants did I?

 

Oh and when the Caps aren’t playing and Mr. Cherrie let’s me watch the Penguin’s : I made this:

And yes, I do wear these.

 

 

Work. It. Out.

31 Aug

I… I, er…. um…  what?  Oh.  Here at Mike Green World Domination HQ, I had two thoughts immediately upon seeing this.

I even think spelling "defence" with a C is adorable.

1) Sweet baby Jesus in the manger.

2) Should have saved that HP joke, because it’s better here: I just died so hard I turned Mike Green into a horcrux. 

Alas, you know the truth.  There is another dimension where I really do control the universe and this slipped through the cracks: Mike Green Workout Video [link].  He talks about overcoming last season’s injuries and expectations for this year.  There’s no jumping, but we all know Mike has a tendency to fall down a lot.

Intern Jeff Skinner is walking around with earmuffs on because the high-pitched squealing is deadly to boys.  He even gave up on that girl-speak dictionary from last week because it doesn’t have a section for “colorful language.”

Mike also talks about Alex Semin and the comments from Matt Bradley – very diplomatic, Mr. Green (in the library with the candlestick).  He simply says that if you’re not committed, you’re not wanted.  No stubborn defense of Sasha Fierce?  I am impressed.

But really just look at this.  Every single individual strand of his hair is perfect.  His eyebrows make the Korean ladies at my salon weep with joy.  I should worry about a guy who uses this much product at the gym, because you know it wasn’t just for the interview.  But I can’t.

I don’t think my one pull-up workout routine (Intern Jeff Skinner is my trainer) is going to cut it here.  The Eric Staal-lookalike at my gym is not impressed.  Good thing I have all these workout videos for inspiration!  There’s a second interview with Mike [link], quads not included.