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Dammit Geno

9 Feb

We knew.  Everybody knew.  And yet today, every hour on the hour I have the urge to throw something across the room.  It could have something to do with the POS performance against Columbus last night.

Pittsburgh Penguins forward Evgeni Malkin will undergo surgery Thursday to repair a torn ACL and torn MCL in his right knee, the team announced Wednesday.  Malkin’s rehabilitation will take six months, and he will be ready for the start of training camp in September, General Manager Ray Shero

Apparently Geno texted Dan Bylsma simply, “I’m sorry.” That really makes me want to cry.  Then I found this gem and felt a little better.  Nothing compares to Malkin for goofiness.

Laser cat?

But still.  CRAP.

Make It Stop!

4 Feb

Ok, I swore I would stop writing posts about the Penguins because there are so many other things in Hockey to write about but damn it, they keep doing things that are news worthy.

First off, Malkin just injured himself AGAIN – YES – AGAIN. He went into the boards and hurt himself in the second period against Buffalo as I am writing this. He will not be finishing the game and now maybe not the season. UPDATE: He is out with a torn ACL and MLC. Here is the current update.

Secondly, Fleury released his own cereal this week. Yes, that is not a typo. A cereal. So now you have the Flower for breakfast. I would obviously rather have Mr. LeBang but in a pinch, Fleury Flakes just might do. If you want to order your own here’s the link. You can get a snappy shirt too.

shove it in your mouth - i dare you, you little bastard

Thirdly and obviously to me, most importantly, below is a link to an AWESOME piece on Mr. LeBang about his run for Norris Trophy candidate. If you didn’t love him before – which I can’t IMAGINE WHY you didn’t -YOU WILL NOW. It’s his fault. Kris LeBang.

It evidently is all our fault? um .. yeah. I'll take it.

Too Injured For All-Star Game But Not For Bowling?

25 Jan

can't let a day go by without a photo of his hotness

Um…? The Penguins had their annual Pens and Pins Charity Bowling event on 1/17 and either Malkin and Crosby have been seeing a faith healer or something is rotten in Pittsburg. Not to taint my love for all things Letang because he is still smokin’ hot as evidenced above but for realsies? This is one of the many reasons I can’t stand Sidney. If he can attend a Pens’ Charity event, he can damn well at least attend the All-Star game. He owes it to the fans.

ignore the princess on the left - fleury is adorable!

As far as  Malkin goes, if he can bowl, I’m not seeing anything wrong with his knee. Again, he can get his Russian hockey butt to the All-Star game too if only to attend for the fans. UPDATE: Evidently now Bylsma is claiming Malkin has a sinus infection/illness and won’t be attending and will not be playing in tonight’s game either.

I think Geno and Crosby should just come clean like Zetterburg and Luongo and say, “I just don’t want to attend. Thanks but no thanks .”  Which leads to a whole other discussion, should there be an All-Star game? Because with the All-Stars dropping like flies – what does that say to us fans? It sorts feels like the ultimate F-You –  D-listed like the entertainment. Dissed and disrepected.

knee looks good to me

When you have the honor of being VOTED into the top six players in all of the NHL BY FANS, I think you ought to check your tiara at the door, put your best prom dress on, fix your mascara and show up sister.


20 Jan

I don’t know who made this, but I’ve been laughing for half an hour.  I just… Malkin.

O. M. Geno.

7 Jan

There are five lanes of traffic and a trolley track between my office and this newspaper rack.  I said “No way!” out loud to the whole sidewalk, then almost got hit by a bus taking this photo.  Most of these ads are a stretch (Jenna Elfman?), as is this one unless you’re a Pens fan.  But I cheer!

Just another day at the office.

Malkin is the, um… unobvious?… choice for an ad campaign, but that’s what makes it so fun.  He’s an All-Star.  He’s a big deal.  Most people seeing these don’t know Crosby either so share the love.  Any mainstream ad campaign starring an NHL player is good with me.  And the TV spot is just priceless:

We love our office Flip Cam, though no one does stick handling drills.  It’s more zombie flash mobs and superhero costume parties around here.

Buy Me Something Nice

15 Dec

I just sit here and laugh all day.  Everyone thinks I’m crazy but they can’t see this.  It’s from the Penguins Online Store, where you can buy my Christmas present.  The title of this series is Awkward Turtle.  Sid looks stiff as a board and really, Geno?  They had to photograph him in various stages of growing out his bangs?  Either smile or don’t – pick one.  I love ya boys, but this makes me squirm.

And to make it worse, the Capitals did better.  (Shut up, Dawn.)  Fidget’s rocking the sassy hands-on-hips pose which he surely saw on America’s Next Top ModelI bet he can strut too, but only wearing sunglasses. He really is good looking, eh?  Ovi looks… well, terrifying frankly.  25 years ago he would have been pulling teeth for the KGB.  Dawn owns everything in this store.

PS: I totally bought Dawn a Caps barstool for Christmas. Mr. Cherrie can bolt it to the floor of their house so she doesn’t tip over during games.

Dammit Geno (Episode 1)

14 Sep

It’s NHL Media Tour day in NYC and there will certainly be tons of fun photos floating around by this afternoon (all over Twitter already!).  They might as well give up now because I don’t see how they can top this:


DAMMIT GENO! What are you doing?  Evgeni Malki (ak.a. Alternate Captain Awkward Turtle) has let someone cut a a racing stripe in his hair.  Will he be taking off his shirt in a taxi cab in his quest to become Patrick Kane?  Whatever product he’s hawking never stood a chance against his ‘do. [photo from @pghpenguins]   And he looks SO uncomfortable, like someone’s making him swear the oath he won’t tattle on his friends when they go in Prince John’s yard:

Spiders, snakes and a lizard's head...

Earlier this summer, Geno wore this to celebrate Coach Bylsma’s visit to Russia.  Yes it is a t-shirt with a picture of a scarf on it. And he thinks he looks PIMP in it.  The extra shirt he’s carrying probably has a picture of an umbrella, because Mama Malkin didn’t raise no fool.

As someone who’s been known to use the hashtag #ibelieveingeno, I fully support Malkin despite waning point production and the fact that he seems to be the magician’s assistant – Crosby puts him in the box and he disappears when you really need him.  BUT, I have hope for this season.  Let’s just get him some more Pens gear, a buzz cut and a fresh start.