This is Not My Fault

12 Mar

Before you scroll down, I’m just going to say three things:

1) Fair warning.

2) You can all stop sending me these photos now.

3) Intern Jeff Skinner can lift a LOT of office supplies.

I mean STOP IT.  I tried to resist posting these, but at least three people emailed me and this is a cheer-ocracy.  I’m not responsible for whatever you thought the moment you saw them, but I know where they’re from…

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JEFF?  You left that ice wearing three layers of clothing – did you Hulk right out of them?  There are girls in the stands who would faint (a few just fainted here).   Maybe you heard us all say we thought James Neal was kinda skinny on NHL36, or it’s because Tyler Seguin takes his shirt off every ten minutes.  If you want to keep showing off, and have 2-goal games like Saturday, we can take requests for you to jump out of birthday cakes.

And no, you still can’t have a raise.  But this was a *really* nice try.  I might have some singles…

[Real Question: What do you give strippers in Canada?  Loonies and Toonies?  Without paper dollars, I’m confused.  Or is everyone there so hot they start at the $5 range?]

15 Responses to “This is Not My Fault”

  1. L March 12, 2012 at 10:15 am #

    Pants–I will be in Montreal on Friday. I’ll try and find a “Chip & Dales” to test out your Loonie & Toonie theory.

  2. Deb March 12, 2012 at 10:19 am #

    There are rare moments when I wholeheartedly wish I were almost 10 years younger. Staring at this almost-jailbait is one of those moments.

  3. Lindsay March 12, 2012 at 10:32 am #

    I can’t speak for the rest of the country but here in Calgary I’m told that it’s encouraged to throw Loonies and Toonies at….ahem….the strippers’ junk. Maybe Mike can clarify for us? I’m sure he’s been to the peelers enough to give us the scoop.

    • Jess March 12, 2012 at 10:52 am #

      My friend here is correct. Loonies and toonies are thrown and then after their “dance”, the strippers have to crawl around and pick them up. I mean, err, that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve totally never been witness to this. *shifty eyes*

      • Chuck March 12, 2012 at 11:06 am #

        Riiiiiight, what you “heard’.


        Does anyone else find male strippers as hilarious as I do? They just make me giggle.

        • Jess March 12, 2012 at 11:24 am #

          Male strippers are HILARIOUS. Especially when they do their, err, “routine” to an *NSYNC slow jam. Like what? Bachelorette parties aren’t worthy of Whitesnake?

          Oh, I see what I did there. It was unintentional. Damnit Intern Jeff Skinner. You’ve done and gone threw my mind straight into the gutter with your arms/chest/abs/hipdip muscles.

          • Jess March 12, 2012 at 11:26 am #

            NO TOUCHING!

  4. Amanda March 12, 2012 at 10:34 am #

    I just died.
    If he needs a girlfriend, I’m up for the job. I’m not kidding.

  5. Chuck March 12, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    “Real Question: What do you give strippers in Canada? Loonies and Toonies? Without paper dollars, I’m confused. Or is everyone there so hot they start at the $5 range?”

    Once again, your humor has make me laugh-snort.

  6. Jess March 12, 2012 at 10:53 am #

    Boy Face, Man Body: A Cougar Dilemma

  7. The Kitchenette March 12, 2012 at 10:54 am #


  8. Veronica March 12, 2012 at 11:47 am #

    Gives a new meaning to the line “SKINS and Finns” when he was playing with Rutuu and Jokenin!!!

    Why does he NEVER take his clothes off like that here in Carolina??? As if the dream I had about him the other night wasn’t sexy enough???

    Made me forget about Toews….for now

  9. NYR Fan March 12, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

    Not a terrible way to start a Monday….and don’t worry, Pants…I might be willing to contribute some singles to your collection…

  10. F March 12, 2012 at 11:43 pm #

    This blog is creepy. Stop lusting after teenagers. First Skinner, now Landeskog?

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