Jordan Eberle really wants to be our intern. He applies twice a week – and those are just the resumes we see. Imagine how many Intern Jeff Skinner has intercepted!
As “Job Experience,” Jordan humbly mentioned that he’s s a spectacular hockey player. He has 25 G/30 A this season, another in the Oilers rebuilding campaign. Edmonton is last in the Northwest Division (50 points), but since it’s Canada they still sell a lot of tickets (19th in overall attendance this season), and even more Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins jerseys.
He also had “Awards and Recognition” – Jordan’s first-ever NHL goal, scored in his debut game last season, was voted NHL Goal of the Year (on Facebook) and TSN’s Play of the Year.
So really, Ebs is perfect for us. Under “Qualifications,” he listed being 21 (because we have standards), 5′ 11″ and Canadian with excellent eyebrows and that gap-toothed smile.
He even attached photos of some amazing derp faces. The rest of the time he’s…
Jordan provided only one reference, his epic bromance with Taylor Hall. Epic as in ice cream dates [video] and living together. Hallsy lets Ebs wears sweatpants and not even make his bed for a TV shoot. They’re like baby Nicky/Mike or Toews/Kane. He’s already a WUYS workaholic.
In the “Related Skills” portion, Ebs said he didn’t have a Valentine this year [video], but if he did he might take her for fondue. If that’s not an attempt to charm us… how about puppies?
We did a background check and came up with a trove of hilarity. I could post it all, but Americans can spend their 3-day weekend Googling Eberle videos.
Hahaha, this one’s my favorite. Does he appear to be running in jeans?
Oh hey, speaking of jeans… he borrowed these from Crosby.
Included with his resume were a #14 jersey for the 2012 All-Star Game and an offer to pick us up for work in his truck. Are those perks? Do we have to report them on our taxes?
Chuck and I are having a staff meeting today to decide. We obviously have to offer Eberle some kind of job – he’s not going away anytime soon.
Follow Jordan on Twitter – @ebs_14.