Foxy Friday: Jordan Eberle

17 Feb

Jordan Eberle really wants to be our intern.  He applies twice a week – and those are just the resumes we see.  Imagine how many Intern Jeff Skinner has intercepted!

As “Job Experience,” Jordan humbly mentioned that he’s s a spectacular hockey player.  He has 25 G/30 A this season, another in the Oilers rebuilding campaign.  Edmonton is last in the Northwest Division (50 points), but since it’s Canada they still sell a lot of tickets (19th in overall attendance this season), and even more Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins jerseys.

He even sits like Mike Green.

He also had “Awards and Recognition” – Jordan’s first-ever NHL goal, scored in his debut game last season, was voted NHL Goal of the Year (on Facebook) and TSN’s Play of the Year.

So really, Ebs is perfect for us.  Under “Qualifications,” he listed being 21 (because we have standards), 5′ 11″ and Canadian with excellent eyebrows and that gap-toothed smile.

He even attached photos of some amazing derp faces.  The rest of the time he’s…

Jordan provided only one reference, his epic bromance with Taylor Hall.  Epic as in ice cream dates [video] and living together.  Hallsy lets Ebs wears sweatpants and not even make his bed for a TV shoot.  They’re like baby Nicky/Mike or Toews/Kane.  He’s already a WUYS workaholic.

In the “Related Skills” portion, Ebs said he didn’t have a Valentine this year [video], but if he did he might take her for fondue.  If that’s not an attempt to charm us… how about puppies?

We did a background check and came up with a trove of hilarity.  I could post it all, but  Americans can spend their 3-day weekend Googling Eberle videos.

 

Hahaha, this one’s my favorite. Does he appear to be running in jeans?

Oh hey, speaking of jeans… he borrowed these from Crosby.

Included with his resume were a #14 jersey for the 2012 All-Star Game and an offer to pick us up for work in his truck.  Are those perks? Do we have to report them on our taxes?

No stops at Stamkos' house.

Chuck and I are having a staff meeting today to decide.  We obviously have to offer Eberle some kind of job – he’s not going away anytime soon.

Follow Jordan on Twitter – @ebs_14.

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9 Responses to “Foxy Friday: Jordan Eberle”

  1. Holli February 17, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    What about mail room clerk? He looks like he could deliver 😉

    • Pants February 17, 2012 at 10:02 am #

      Holli, I just spit water all over my desk! You and Eberle are BOTH hired.

    • Chuck February 17, 2012 at 10:19 am #

      Annnnnd, we have a winner.
      Comment of the Day award goes to YOU!

  2. Chuck February 17, 2012 at 10:02 am #

    Why does Jordan Eberle look like an extra from a Harry Potter movie? I feel like he looks like a Ravenclaw beater in an epic Quidditch match. *Cue extra long close up and the John Williams score.*

    Also, those jeans – I approve 1000%. Also, the black v-neck sweater.

  3. Chuck February 17, 2012 at 10:19 am #

    Is he Tebowing in that photo?
    Canadians don’t Tebow.

  4. Anonymous February 17, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    I… I can’t… I just… Even after what they keep doing to my beloved Blackhawks… I love the Oilers. I do.

    • Jess February 17, 2012 at 11:06 am #

      What Anonymous what?! Clearly that was me…

  5. Deanna February 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

    I have no words for how amazing this post is… I always thought he was adorable and he just keeps getting better and better. Also, I second Holli’s comment; mail room clerk sounds like the PERFECT job for Ebs

  6. Amanda February 17, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    They are all SO GOOD at keeping a straight face in that TSN video.

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