Mike Green, you stud. Way to make Saturday Date Night count!
In case you weren’t watching, refreshing your Twitter every ten seconds or hearing my screams echo across DC, you might have missed Mike scoring 2 goals and getting 2 assists vs. Detroit. You might have missed him taking a puck to the chin (“NOT THE FACE!”) and the sound of silence from Gator as her beloved hometown Red Wings got steamrolled by the still-undefeated Capitals.
Mike celebrates a goal like he’s picking up a girl. “YES! I was unsure this would ever happen again and now success, hooooray!”
Matthieu Perrault had 2 goals. Mike, Hendricks and Ovi each had 2 assists. Mojo and Joel Ward both scored and 5 other guys assisted. They put points in the Chipotle blimp and just showered them all over the Verizon Center.
Nearing the end of the 3rd, while still hoping Mike might get a hattie, I said to Gator: “All we need is Nicky to score a goal now.” Let me tell you something, Nicklas Backstrom is your dream boyfriend. Goal? Here you go. Ice cream? Let me get that for you. Honey, I just finished hand-washing your car and there’s all this water left, should I just pour it on myself? Shirt on or off?
And with that unnecessary but beautiful goal, Mike & Nicky combined for a Pooh & Piglet BFF hat trick. Seriously I just order these things online and they’re delivered right to my seat.
Mike was the First Star of the game – that’s 2 out of 7. His First Star average is above the Mendoza Line. He was interviewed in the 2nd INT, during which Gator and I had the following conversation (in the ice cream line):
Pants: How many goals does Mike need to justify this facial hair?
Gator: What do they call more than a hat trick? He needs that many.
Pants: I kinda like it.
Gator: Of course you do.
Pants: Maybe it’s part of his Halloween costume. He’s going as Zorro.
Gator: Can they put the mask over his whole face?
I think it’s kind of dastardly. And hilarious. Good lord Movember’s going to be a long month.
Now, if you had a lot of money you would go to the Caps Casino Night event on February 10 [link]. We are investigating whether or not this qualifies as a tax write-off. Otherwise, we’re going to campaign that Ovi adopt us as un-foreign exchange students and his guests. Or we could take donations…