Mikey Monday: 4 on the Floor

24 Oct

Mike Green, you stud.  Way to make Saturday Date Night count!

We'll talk about this facial hair later. From jlrpuck.tumblr.com

In case you weren’t watching, refreshing your Twitter every ten seconds or hearing my screams echo across DC, you might have missed Mike scoring 2 goals and getting 2 assists vs. Detroit.  You might have missed him taking a puck to the chin (“NOT THE FACE!”) and the sound of silence from Gator as her beloved hometown Red Wings got steamrolled by the still-undefeated Capitals.

Mike celebrates a goal like he’s picking up a girl.  “YES! I was unsure this would ever happen again and now success, hooooray!”

Matthieu Perrault had 2 goals.  Mike, Hendricks and Ovi each had 2 assists.  Mojo and Joel Ward both scored and 5 other guys assisted.  They put points in the Chipotle blimp and just showered them all over the Verizon Center.

Nearing the end of the 3rd, while still hoping Mike might get a hattie, I said to Gator: “All we need is Nicky to score a goal now.”  Let me tell you something, Nicklas Backstrom is your dream boyfriend.  Goal?  Here you go.  Ice cream? Let me get that for you.  Honey, I just finished hand-washing your car and there’s all this water left, should I just pour it on myself?  Shirt on or off?

And with that unnecessary but beautiful goal, Mike & Nicky combined for a Pooh & Piglet BFF hat trick.  Seriously I just order these things online and they’re delivered right to my seat.

Mike was the First Star of the game – that’s 2 out of 7.  His First Star average is above the Mendoza Line.  He was interviewed in the 2nd INT, during which Gator and I had the following conversation (in the ice cream line):

Photo by doyouwannaflight874.tumblr.com

Pants: How many goals does Mike need to justify this facial hair?

Gator: What do they call more than a hat trick?  He needs that many.

Pants: I kinda like it.

Gator: Of course you do.

Pants: Maybe it’s part of his Halloween costume.  He’s going as Zorro.

Gator: Can they put the mask over his whole face?

I think it’s kind of dastardly.  And hilarious.  Good lord Movember’s going to be a long month.

Now, if you had a lot of money you would go to the Caps Casino Night event on February 10 [link].  We are investigating whether or not this qualifies as a tax write-off.  Otherwise, we’re going to campaign that Ovi adopt us as un-foreign exchange students and his guests.   Or we could take donations…

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8 Responses to “Mikey Monday: 4 on the Floor”

  1. Shi October 24, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    The facial hair… he looks a bit like a pirate.

    A sexy pirate.

  2. Chuck October 24, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    I am a proponent of all types of facial hair…with the exception of the soul patch.

    I cannot abide by the soul patch.

    Call me in 2 weeks when Mike’s Conquistador facial hair has a chance to grow in a little.

    Then we’ll talk.

  3. Taylor Easton (@TaylorGNR) October 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    I’m not gonna lie I like the facial hair. I guess I’m just weird like that.

  4. AYF October 24, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    Damm Pants! LOVE LOVE LOVE every one of your posts. Makes me laugh so hard I almost choke on my double non-fat latte with extra chocolate sprinkles.

    Mikey – you’re on a roll big guy! But Johny Depp wants his facial hair back…

  5. Deb October 24, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    I liked the facial hair more once I saw that he’s got the goatee thing going on…slightly better than creepystache. The only one I look forward to seeing with a stache LESS than Greenie is Alzner…no bueno.

    Does it go against the rules to donate money to the players to shave during Movember?

  6. Lindsay October 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

    “Let me tell you something, Nicklas Backstrom is your dream boyfriend. Goal? Here you go. Ice cream? Let me get that for you. Honey, I just finished hand-washing your car and there’s all this water left, should I just pour it on myself? Shirt on or off?”

    Goddamn it, Pants. Stop being so freaking hilarious. I can barely contain my giggles.

  7. Jess October 24, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    Hallo. My name is Mikey Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

  8. Elisha Jaffer (@elishajaffer) October 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

    30 seconds before Nicky scored I was sitting there thinking “If Sasha or Nicky scored (preferably both) this night would be perfect” et voila. Unreal biggest dork smile ever on my face at 4:30am!!

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