Hawks – Class of 2011

27 Sep

Welcome to the 2011-2012 Chicago Blackhawks season.  Also known as Patrick Kane’s 10th birthday party.

Patrick is *really* excited because him mom got him a new Huffy bike and the double chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake that all the cool kids had last year.  Duncan is psyched because he stole that kid’s cake and just ate the last piece he had in the shoebox under his bed.  Now he’s coming for this cake.

Sharp is mentally calculating the value of the presents vs. the cost of the party and creating a Profits & Loss sheet.  He’ll then determine the compounding interest forecast for investing in Patrick’s 11th birthday party.  Economic indicators are not good.

Jonathan is figuring out how to get each of Patrick’s sisters alone in the treehouse and which one is mostly likely to believe he’s a doctor.
He’d better hurry, because Brent is planning to set that treehouse on fire.

7 Responses to “Hawks – Class of 2011”

  1. Lindsay September 27, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    I just spent half an hour reading Toews/Kane comics over at Hockey Syrup. Now this? If there ever was someone who died in a heap of giggling laugh attacks, it is me.

    PS Tazer I believe you’re a doctor.

    • Pants September 28, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

      Holy shit, Hockey Syrup is so funny. ADD!

  2. Pants September 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm #

    Gator: “Who is that one? The crazy one? He’s hot. Is he over 21?”

    Pants: “Yes. He’ll be at our Caps game Sunday.”

    Gator: “Alllllllllright. We’re getting pregnant Sunday.”

    • Lindsay September 27, 2011 at 7:14 pm #

      There’s an insurmountable level of jealousy coming your way from Canada at the thought of that game. I won’t even list the possibilities of who all from the Hawks/Caps will be there – because we’d all die instantaneous fangirl deaths.

      • Jess September 27, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

        Haha – I’m assuming you’ve included me in your “we” because, no jokes, I literally priced out how much it would cost to fly from Vancouver to DC to see that game and… it was not prohibitive.

        Two things:
        1) I think Gator must now be added to my list of make-believe best friends.
        2) Hockey Syrup may be the greatest thing ever and usually when I say I cried, it’s an exaggeration to convey my inner fangil turmoil, but I had actual tears of laughter streaming down my face. “How f*cking weird are commas?!”

  3. Franzi (@Moonlight2019) September 27, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    Awesome as always! Sitting here and having tears in my eyes from laughing (again).

    And thanks Lindsay, I didn’t know that site, but it seems to be hilarious as well.

  4. Melissa September 28, 2011 at 12:55 am #

    Not enough words for the hilarity of this post! I don’t know where you guys come up with this stuff, but keep it coming!!

    Also, I have an appointment with Dr. Toews on 10/15. He’s usually booked, so I’ve literally had my tickets, I MEAN appointment for months!! 😉

    PS This is the 2nd time today I’ve heard about this Hockey Syrup, I’m guessing it’s worth giving it a look?

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