Work. It. Out.

31 Aug

I… I, er…. um…  what?  Oh.  Here at Mike Green World Domination HQ, I had two thoughts immediately upon seeing this.

I even think spelling "defence" with a C is adorable.

1) Sweet baby Jesus in the manger.

2) Should have saved that HP joke, because it’s better here: I just died so hard I turned Mike Green into a horcrux. 

Alas, you know the truth.  There is another dimension where I really do control the universe and this slipped through the cracks: Mike Green Workout Video [link].  He talks about overcoming last season’s injuries and expectations for this year.  There’s no jumping, but we all know Mike has a tendency to fall down a lot.

Intern Jeff Skinner is walking around with earmuffs on because the high-pitched squealing is deadly to boys.  He even gave up on that girl-speak dictionary from last week because it doesn’t have a section for “colorful language.”

Mike also talks about Alex Semin and the comments from Matt Bradley – very diplomatic, Mr. Green (in the library with the candlestick).  He simply says that if you’re not committed, you’re not wanted.  No stubborn defense of Sasha Fierce?  I am impressed.

But really just look at this.  Every single individual strand of his hair is perfect.  His eyebrows make the Korean ladies at my salon weep with joy.  I should worry about a guy who uses this much product at the gym, because you know it wasn’t just for the interview.  But I can’t.

I don’t think my one pull-up workout routine (Intern Jeff Skinner is my trainer) is going to cut it here.  The Eric Staal-lookalike at my gym is not impressed.  Good thing I have all these workout videos for inspiration!  There’s a second interview with Mike [link], quads not included.

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9 Responses to “Work. It. Out.”

  1. Cassy August 31, 2011 at 11:10 am #

    Poor Intern Jeff Skinner! Is it worse than those things in Harry Potter (mandrakes)? That can kill? Could be a useful weapon say, against the Flyers next season 🙂

  2. Chuck August 31, 2011 at 11:13 am #

    This is a man for which man-scaping is a way of life.
    You’re right…those eyebrows would make any lady with a pot of hot wax & cotton strips very happy.
    Wonder where he goes to get them done? Mine are in need of a little TLC.

    I miss hockey in the summer…but this plethora of workout videos sort of makes up for it.

  3. raedanda August 31, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    This has to be one of the best posts ever.

    And now every time I see Mikey, I will see that hedgehog. For forever.

  4. chelski August 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Do you think I could bring in a picture of MG52 to my eyebrow lady and say “these. I want these, please.”

  5. Lisa August 31, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    Thank you…. you made my hump day!!! =)

  6. carter August 31, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    If I make it to a Caps game this year, I’m totally making a sign that has a picture of a hedgehog wearing a 52 sweater. The hard part will be holding it up with a straight face.

    • Pants August 31, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

      You can come to the game with me and Gator. We never have straight faces.

  7. Lindsay August 31, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

    I’m so happy Mike has gotten his hair issues under control. He’s probably taken styling lessons and practices in front of the mirror. Let’s hope his dry-land training applies to his hair, and that he can keep up his conditioning during the regular season.

  8. Jess August 31, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    I have just made the hedgehog my wallpaper.

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