Happy Birthday Sasha Fierce – A Day Late, A Ruble Short!

4 Mar

Hey, Dawn, Sasha here, you forgot my BIRTHDAY you dumb B$&ch!

But that doesn’t mean we don’t have bunches of sweet love for you! I scored first place in my fantasy Caps hockey for the month! I’ve never ever done that! And the trade deadline’s past and YOU’RE STILL A CAP! THANK MOTHER RUSSIA! I was totes sweatin’ that one. Instead GM GM gave you some sweet back up so now you can add to all those hat tricks you’ve racked up this season!

So in honor of your birthday, we get to embarrass you just like it was a real birthday party! So here’s your first NHL fight with Marc Staahl where, well, I’ll let the video speak for itself:

And then we pull out old photos of you doing spazzy things when you thought no one was looking:

and then there's this one ...

Or when you got really drunk doing shots with Mikey and Brooksy and forgot your pants at Neuvy’s place and you all  snuck back in to Kettler to play some shinny hockey and then you ended up calling Ovi’s mom?

drunk dialing Ovi’s mom and heavy breathing!

Or that time Ovi talked you into going on that ‘double date’ and it ended up being just you and him?

You were a good sport about that!

Either way, we love you and wish you a belated but none the less FABULOUS WUYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASHA FIERCE!

THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE! HOT TOO!

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5 Responses to “Happy Birthday Sasha Fierce – A Day Late, A Ruble Short!”

  1. Cassy March 4, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    The resemblance to Skywalker is uncanny. Now where’s our Foxy Friday?!

  2. Seriously Pissed March 4, 2011 at 7:04 pm #

    Hey, I don’t see an email address for you guys, but I have some important Pens updates for you:

    Jordan Staal cut his hair. Meanwhile, flood warnings have been issued in Pittsburgh. Related, or not?

    And secondly, Kris Letang was thrown out of a game for a wardrobe malfunction. He allowed another man to remove his jersey during a fight. Actually, it was because he didn’t have his jersey tied down properly – how in the hell is this a game misconduct? Seriously, NHL, that’s total crap. Anyway, this happened at the beginning of a game against the Devils, which we went on to lose, which is probably partially Letang’s fault. But it is hard to be mad at him when he was being all feisty and undressed.

    • Cassy March 5, 2011 at 1:49 am #

      LePretty does seem to be losing his clothes on a regular basis on any occasion these days.

      Game misconduct was prolly for causing mass fainting of women spectators.

      Someone told him we likey likey his sex hair, pecs & abs huh?

      • Seriously Pissed March 5, 2011 at 5:35 am #

        And if we can make this about actual hockey for a minute – what the hell was he doing fighting anyway? I mean yeah, there’s this thrilling moment when you realize “OH MY GOD LETANG IS GOING TO FIGHT!” and then you remember you want the Pens to actually win the game and all of our star players are already injured. When he started throwing punches at the other guy’s helmet I nearly died.

    • dawncherrie March 5, 2011 at 12:33 pm #

      I don’t get versus … and all the pens games seem to be on versus so I would have to go a bar so see them and that would be a bad mix for anyone else ha! especially if Le Bang lost his jersey! I would be in JAIL! HA! I did hear about that. I am sure he is feeling the pressure right now having to carry the team with everyone out – he’s got to get it out some how and since he doesn’t have access to all of us – 😉 I guess it’s gonna BLOW (ha!) on the ice. Be sure I will do a post on it. Just had to get Sasha his belated B-day shout.

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