Now & Later: Steven Stamkos

17 Nov

Let’s talk about someone we never talk about here: Steven Stamkos. As if leading the league in goals and points was not enough reason, I want to point out that Stamkos in 20. That’s fine in Canada but Tampa Bay?  They have a Yuengling brewery for eff’s sake!  This poor guy.  No wonder he practices so much, there is simply nothing else to do.

High score? What does that mean? Did I break it?

Stammers was drafted 1st overall in the ’08 draft and hit the NHL that year with 23 goals and 23 assists.  In 2009, he had 51 goals to tie for the NHL lead and split the Rocket Richard Trophy with someone we like very much. It takes a lot of guts to wear a shiny gray suit, but he’s looking smart.  Except I’m not looking at him.

Sorry... Pants lost her train of thought.

Steve was born in 1990. The year of my first ever concert: New Kids on the Block.  So that’s cool.  According to my in-depth 3 minute Google search, Steve likes “Two and a Half Men” and Nickelback, and doesn’t really eat breakfast cereal.  Guess we don’t have a lot in common.  Also, I had bad hair and wore slouch socks while he was being adorable and skating with a chair.

He’s definitely cute, so we’ll file him under “Call me when you don’t need a fake ID.” We vote for the longer hair, since his hairline is a bit severe, but Steve seems like a nice guy.  Especially when he’s giving Toews a run for his money with the “serious” face.  Next year we’ll let him take us to Busch Gardens and ride the SheiKra till we can’t stand up.  Then we can watch the tortoises mate (srsly, saw it there in April, very disturbing) and our date will be complete.

I'm serious about this sweater.

Stammers is on track to score something like 298 goals this season (okay, 73).  He wears 91 because it’s the reverse of Sakic and Yzerman, two of his favorite players growing up (ours too!).   At 6’1″ and 188 pounds, Steve-o is going to fit in your jeans. Get over that (and minds out of the gutter!), because he’s going to be around for a long time and really wants to take you to the prom.

Skinny tie? Hipster prom party.

Advertisements

7 Responses to “Now & Later: Steven Stamkos”

  1. dawncherrie November 17, 2010 at 3:06 pm #

    What is this .. foxy friday early? He looks mildy like Tardy from GREGG THE BUNNY … SORRY. “I LOVE ASH TRAYS” …He needs to get L**D BADLY…. anyone ? anyone? Not me.

    • Pants November 17, 2010 at 4:02 pm #

      Also, not Foxy Friday early. We cannot choose someone underage for Foxy Friday b/c Chuck thinks it makes us look creepy. And then I have to call in an Amber Alert on myself. (Team Jacob!)

  2. Pants November 17, 2010 at 3:22 pm #

    Tardy was a turtle, no? Do you mean Seth Green? I was thinking he looks like Seth Green mixed with Breckin Meyer by way of the Staals. Too complicated?

    Also, I was thinking about how I used to say I’d never date a guy who could wear my jeans. Crosby definitely isn’t fitting into these long & leans.

  3. dawncherrie November 17, 2010 at 3:39 pm #

    YES! That tardy … hahahah and no, not Seth himself. Seth is like 4 feet tall in real life. I know. I accidentally told him he was cute and small. LOL!
    BTW – Mr. Cherrie can wear my jeans but they are too long for him since he is shorter than me. Is that bad? HA! 😉

    • Pants November 17, 2010 at 3:46 pm #

      Not bad at all. We’re all pretty tall, so if we ruled out the shorter guys I would never get a date with Paul Kariya. Or Martin St. Louis. Or Jon Stewart.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Mock All-Star Draft: WUYS Style « What's Up, Ya Sieve? - January 27, 2011

    […] Steve Stamkos […]

  2. Birthday Boy: Steven Stamkos « What's Up, Ya Sieve? - February 8, 2011

    […] back in November, we posted that Stammer should call us when he no longer needs a fake ID.  Well that day has arrived.  Happy […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: