Maximum Failure

21 Oct

A few weeks back, Texas Matt, a good friend of mine and Pants, send us an email informing us of a little bar he discovered in the city of Athens, Georgia (the home of the University of Georgia) known as THE MAX CANADA. And anyone who knows us, knows how much Pants and I love our great neighbor to the North.  We are totally Fauxnadians.

Where the Canadian Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski hang out

So last weekend, when I went down to GA to visit Texas Matt, I insisted he take me to this bar.  In my head, I envisioned a place packed with Canadian ex-pats, wearing Roots gear and lumberjack outfits and drinking Molson or Labatt’s Blue while hockey games played on every single television.  During the commercial breaks, the entire crowd would break into song, singing the Canadian national anthem or the entire Barenaked Ladies catalog. My own little version of heaven.   Sort of like this…


*cue angelic choirs*

What I got, however, left me seriously disappointed.  Not only where there NO Canadians there, there was no Canadian flags, no hockey jerseys, and not a single one of the TVs showing any of the hockey games!

Uh, guys – your bar is called The Max CANADA and you don’t even show ONE hockey game?  Seriously?  Epic epic FAIL.

I know you are located in Athens, Georgia, where UGA football is basically a religion and this guy is the preacher…

The Reverend Uga

But if you’re going invoke our great neighbor to the North in your establishment’s name, the least you could do is incorporate SOME of the awesome things we love aboot Canada.

Maybe a Tim Horton’s coffee machine?

4 Responses to “Maximum Failure”

  1. dawncherrie October 21, 2010 at 6:44 pm #

    It’s sad Chuck, but nobody does it better than those crazy canadians -nobody. You won’t believe the grief Mr. Cherrie and I get when we make a run for the border -to Tim Horton’s. You’d think we were smuggling drugs. All we want are coffee and crullers – STAT! Because we can. We live close enough dammit!

    • Pants October 22, 2010 at 8:18 am #

      There’s a Canada bar on the strip in Playa del Carmen, Mexico that was pretty awesome. In fact, all the bars there had hockey on b/c everyone was Canadian except us. D espite this fact, Playa was awful. Faux-Canada is not cutting it, we need the real thing.

      • Pants October 22, 2010 at 8:20 am #

        PS: What’s missing from the logo on this window? The speedometer readout should be in KPH. My friend Kathlyn had a Canadian car with the KPH on top, we’d be driving through LA and I’d get scared – “We’re going 100?!”

  2. Scott Clocked October 25, 2010 at 11:25 am #

    Owner of Max Canada: “WHERE’S JOHN IVEY?!!”

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