We have to make a whole category for this if we’re going to get through the off-season. Can someone remind me what we did in the summer before Twitter? How did we ever know:
Who makes double entendres with random-yet-endearing capitalization?
What Ebs dreams of when he looks in the mirror?
Who needs you to bring them a beer?
Who will buy you popcorn at the movies?
Who thinks college is way different than it really is?
But gets everything else so right?
With all this, a tan, and the potential of a Mike Richards/Jeff Carter Stanley Cup party to contemplate, I think we might get to September after all.
Monday I said, “Can we get an off-season photo of Steven Stamkos?” If he started wearing a ponytail for the summer, I want get my crying out of the way before workout videos start to pop up.
Today, VOILA.
This video of Steven accepting an award for being Steven-tastic not only includes him talking on a child’s plastic telephone and being chased around a Christmas tree by a toddler in a pillow fight, but also HE CUT HIS HAIR.
YAAAYY…WAIT. I’m not sure we’re going on by his ear – can someone just push his hair back there? With the super-high collar, this look is a little too “nervous religious-affiliated high school graduation” for me. Is it too short? Too vanilla?
Uh oh, I kinda miss the long hair! Just a little flow, like this:
Nothing crazy, like when he was working weekends pumping gas for gator trawlers in the Everglades:
No? I’m just used to looking through 3D glasses and now the world seems all flat and ordinary? This was really the best:
Can you argue with advertising campaigns?
I hate to start asking already if it’s October yet… I’ll try to hold off. Stammer was having a shoulder issue late in the season, and says it’s feeling better after a month off [link]. He’ll be in Vegas for the NHL Awards, accepting the Rocket Richard trophy for his 60-goal performance and as a nominee for the Hart Trophy. There’s a negative-seven percent chance he’ll have any kind of tan, so pack your sunglasses.
This is what happens in summer, y’all: style consultations and gratuitous cross-sports graphics.
Saturday was an epic hockey marathon featuring every team in the NHL. Some games were for playoff position, others were a last hurrah. For me, not even that killer Caps win came close to seeing Steven Stamkos score his 60th goal of the season.
And get a pie in the face.
Stop looking at Ran Malone’s tattoos and focus! [video]
Stamkos is the 20th player in NHL history to score 60 in a season. He got 48 of them at even strength. Probably all of them were from Squishy (not an actual statistic). Brittany (@kneesandtoews) and I were Landeskoging all over the place. She is the biggest Bolts fan we know (actual statistic).
Summer is already too long.
Sunday was for drying tears over the teams we won’t see again until September. To send you all off, an adorable story about Stammer & Marty, Best Friends Forever [link].
And two post-game interviews, one regular [link] and one in which Ryan Malone’s tattoos (on his stomach?!) once again steal the show:
Sidney took a puck to the face. I’ve said “not the face!” many times, but never at such volume. Sid bled everywhere and then did what hockey players do best, let it stop and kept playing. Well, it didn’t totally stop.
He will play tonight against Buffalo, a game the Caps need the Pens to win. Wait, what was that? The reluctant sound of DC fans rooting for Pittsburgh? Be still my beating heart.
We could say the Pens need the win also – Philly’s only two points back and there’s no reason to lose home ice advantage for the first round. Sid and Co still have two games vs. the Flyers and one vs. NYR, so any game played against someone else is a bonus where you should grab all the points you can.
In the Battle of the Blog, the Capitals beat the Bruins last night 3-2 in another shitty overtime victory that I’ll take, but don’t like. I don’t like what it says for when we meet teams that can play sixty. Any team can struggle any night, but the Caps do it every night.
This hit by Jason Chimera on Adam McQuaid was the talk of the game. Chimera got tossed for charging, but today the NHL has said no disciplinary hearing will be held. Can Shanahan do videos for hits that are NOT suspended? It would explain a lot more to me.
Chuck is not happy about that. What would cheer her up? How about Nicky B, possibly back in the line-up Saturday vs. Montreal. That’s right – MONTREAL. RENE BOURQUE. Come and get it, punk, we’ll be in section four-oh-something with our elbows up.
Also close to coming back, Jonny Toews. Imagine how cranky he is not being able to play? He’s probably organized every fork in his kitchen by how far apart the times are. With a protractor. The Hawks have won 7-of-10, but Tazer in the playoffs is a whole new kind of hot damn,
Colorado and Calgary have must-win games tonight… against each other. WELP. No guarantee a win will carry the victor into a playoff spot but it’s hard to see the loser of this one hanging on much longer.
Everyone is excited about EA Sports allowing, for the first time ever, a popular vote to decide the NHL13 cover boy. Get the interns on this one! Cast your vote(s) at www.NHL.com/CoverVote, or let the players woo you to their sides. Ton of Twitter chirping = our dream. My favorite:
Uh, Team Claude.
It also looks like the Art Ross and Rocket Richard trophy races are drawing to a close, according to my master plans.
Geno can go till June, thank you very much. Stammer, well, it wasn’t to be this year. But Steven keeps on scoring. He has five goals in his last five games – 55 total, for a career high and Lightning team record. With five games left, could Stamkos get to 60? I say YES. I keep yelling it at the TV. I keep…
So here’s to tonight, as we near the end of the season, and a lot of hockey fans get ready to say goodbye to their favorite teams. If you’re looking for someone to back in the playoffs, allow us to make a few suggestions.
I hope I didn’t exhaust the #sorrychuck tag this weekend, because it needs one more outing. Steven Stamkos scored his 50th goal of the season last night in Tampa Bay’s 6-1 rout of the Bruins.
I was #Landeskoging all over even though I wasn’t watching the game. Stammer was the first star, naturally.
Enjoy this out-of-focus post-game interview, which will make you feel like you had a few celebratory beers.
It’s no secret that I really want Tampa Bay to make the playoffs (just not at the expense of Washington). I refuse to acknowledge the chance this might not happen, instead preferring this formula for success:
– The Capitals win their last 12 games straight, maybe even one in regulation.
– The Lightning win 12 of their last 13, excluding the one they lose to the Caps.
– The Panthers, Sabres, Jet and Maple Leafs (and hell, the Senators too) lose all of their remaining games.
I just need more of this:
Unless Evgeni Malkin goes on a goal-scoring tear in Pittsburgh (hey, it could happen), Steven will win the Rocket Richard Trophy for most goals. He shared the award in 2010 with Crosby – also known as the Day of the Disco Suit.
Geno and Stammer are neck-and-neck for the Art Ross Trophy (most points overall), with Gingeroux hot on their heels. Sorry Claude but I want Stamkos for one, Malkin for the other and cupcakes for everyone.
I’ll be the girl in the Lightning shirt at the gym later. Come say hi.
There are 857 million things I love about doing this blog, but the stuff you send us definitely earns the #1 spot. Happy Tuesday!
Michelle deployed her daughter into enemy territory on Sunday in DC to take a few photos of… who else?
I bet her daughter was sitting right next to me (and a few WUYS pals who shall remain nameless for their protection).
And Amanda (@amandalitty) went into the vault for one that nearly made me spit out my Cheerios.
Yes, with a ZEBRA. You guys are fantastic. @MouthguardOG found me a treasure trove on Tumblr, that I’m waiting for permission to use. This stuff is ALWAYS welcome.
I like to think that if your car breaks down in Canada, you take it to a place like this. Stamkos, Eberle, Phaneuf and Spezza in the new commercial Nike “Clutch” truck commercial.
In honor of making it halfway through this week, here are five things that I love about today.
1. James Neal’s career-high 28th goal, and there are still 28 games left to play. (Bonus: Awkwardly close-up post-game interview video.)
2. Steven Stamkos has scored against every NHL team [video]. And he got a League-leading 35th goal on his birthday, even if the Bolts lost.
3. Letang jumped PK Subban in defense of Geno during last night’s extra-frames shootout loss. The video’s bad, but skip to the 1:00 mark for the tackle.
4. The Caps are #1 in the Southeast Division. Gator and I had an excellent time watching the beat Florida 4-0.
5. I’d love it if the Blackhawks could win a road game, especially since they’re on a 9-game trip. Since that hasn’t happened, any suggestions for something you love about today?
I think it’s safe to say you all know how I feel about Steven Stamkos. I don’t run away from just anyone in the street! Well today is Stammer’s 22nd birthday… as if I needed an excuse to gush.
He’s handsome.
He’s charming.
And he has excellent friends.
But I digress. Steven also has the most NHL goals ever by the age of 23 – 153 total, including 34 to lead the League this season. Add that to 136 assists for a total of 289 points in 3.5 regular seasons. And he’s the hero of my all-time favorite BAMF moment ever.
I know a lot of you are off Steven because of the hair. It’s pretty awful, but I am not deterred. And you could always focus on something else… like goals.
Right. Goals in short sleeves.
Okay, okay. The Lightning made a hot run through Feb/March last season, right over the Pens and Caps in the playoffs. This year they have struggled. They’re currently 10 points out of a playoff spot in the East, though fewer than 10 would put them into first in the Southeast and an automatic berth. No one’s out yet. Of their remaining 31 games, 26 are against Eastern Conference teams.
So happy birthday, Steven Stamkos. We’re pulling for you (and carrying scissors in our purse.) Follow Steven at @RealStamkos91 and read his ASG blog [link]. It’s no secret that good grammar and punctuation make us swoon. (Pssst, Steven! We take guest bloggers!)
When Mr. Pants and I boarded our flight in Houston on Saturday, I had NO idea there would be individual TVs on the plane. Then I saw the All-Star Game Skills Competition was on. I may have screamed. One swipe of the AMEX later, I was sitting an inch from the screen with a huge smile on my face.
Mr. Pants: “What are you so happy about?”
Obviously he doesn’t share my pain in missing a week of hockey and the ASG Draft, or as we prefer to think of it, The WUYS Bachelor Auction. I’m sure it was great. And I saw they put Letang in the front row because even he can only get away with tripping once.
The Elimination Shootout started as we reached cruising altitude. Stamkos stepped up… and the pilot came on the PA talking about miles programs and tail winds and how, if you looked out the right side, you could see a chicken in Mississippi riding a bicycle. He talked the ENTIRE TIME! We almost had an incident with Homeland Security. Plus the seatbelt sign was on forever and I really had to pee.
During the post-win interview, I lost it and said, “Stop touching him, Pierre!” really loud. Unless Pierre has scissors, though it doesn’t look like he’d know how to cut hair.
Hands off the merchandise, Troll.
Also, it’s not easy to watch Nealmobile do Accuracy Shooting when it’s illegal for me to scream, run around or throw things. As I watch back through the coverage, the ASG never fails to be a highlight of the season. It brainwashes me into a maniac who thinks things like:
Red heads in pink shirts? Sure, why not! Too bad no one could straighten it out before shooting. Unless Giroux’s going to tear it off, it shouldn’t be stretched like that. My inner publicist cringes. (Note: That plaid jacket still needs to go. Along with Neal’s. Were they on sale in Ontario at some point?)
Carey Price is funny. And charming. I didn’t think this could get worse.
Scott Hartnell + the Sedins = my nightmare. Except it’s fantastic.
And some things’s don’t surprise. Henrik Lundqvist puts everyone to shame, in every category.
If you didn’t think Patrick Kane would steal the show then you must be new around here.
My tights are underneath.
As always, the awkward prom photos. Everyone is cringing about talking to fathers and having to
See you at the prom party, Segs.
Logan can pick us up in his new car.
What did you guys think? No Crosby, Toews, Green, Backstrom, zero Staals. Still everything you hoped for? And share your favorite bits, because I probably missed them!
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